ChristinaW Asked January 2011
What can my 93-year-old mother do for activities when she is suffering from dementia, macular degeneration, hearing loss, and not much coordination?
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We sit with her, walk her around, but she cannot stand to be left alone for 2 minutes. Recently altered her meds, so she is more calm. We are stumped. Will try anything. Already do some exercising, put a ball in her hand to squeeze and strengthen, leg stretches. She cannot dress herself or feed her self--she drops what she is holding, and cannot see the food on her plate. Does anyone have any ideas? We are all a little nutty from sitting around. Thank you!
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Live-in caregivers work best as they can be on hand all the time and a family member or other caregiver can take turns to relieve main live-in care giver, as there is nothing left to do but pace caregiver's care and companionship to hours when your Mom is up. All the best!
She wants me there all the time but it can get overwhelming. The Vna can offer you help especially if you find someone she really likes.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what youu're going through.
Have you looked at "fidget" toys and tactile toys designed for those with dementia? The Alzheimer's Store is one source, or do a Google search. They're just things to occupy the hands or give some comfort. But they might offer some diversion.
Could she fold washclothes? We use washclothes as single-use hand towels, so we have 3 to 5 laundry loads of them per week. My husband (dementia, 85) has the job of folding them. He holds a shallow box on his lap and smooths a "towel" out, folds it in quarters, and puts it in a pile. If he is having a good day he also moves them from the stacks into the baskets we place on the bathroom vanity, but often I do that part. I understand that a repetitive action, and a textured surface (like terry cloth), and different colors, can all be appealing. It also gives him the feeling of making a contribution -- which it in fact does!
And also I'd consider Linda's attitude. I don't think Mother needs to be busy all the time. Sitting quietly together is OK, too.
If she doesn't want to be left alone, and surely sometimes it is necessary to leave her alone, I wonder if the technique for leaving young children in a hospital would apply? "Mommy has to go talk to the doctors and nurses now. While I'm gone I want you to hold this pretty scarf of mine. When I come back I'll put it around my neck again." Would it comfort your mother to have something of yours to hold while you are not with her?
You are doing a labor of love, Christina, and I hope you are experiencing many rewarding moments.
You are a Saint, one of God's Angels on earth, and I mean it.
Love, christina
my dad is 87 yrs old and he sleeps alot , i would say hey dad raise ur leg up , we re going to excerise , he just stares at me and said no im too tired ,
all i can do for him is to hold his hand or sit with him and watch tv , talk to him . sit at the kitchen table to be with him .
theyre like babies all over again . all you can do is to give them love and give them the best care you can .
while he s napping , i go do my housework or im on here . when hes awake i go and hang out with good ole dad .
getting up to go bathroom wears my dad out . wears me out too .
theyre just tired and worn out ....