My grandmother is 90 and has Alzheimer's. My aunt is 68 and has been her full time caregiver in my grandmothers home. about 48 hours ago she disappeared. She has a paid assistant that relieves her for 4 hours a day for her to go to her home and run errands. She never returned. The assistant has filed a missing persons report and authorities are searching for her. There have been no leads in that as of yet. The assistant believes that my aunt may also be suffering from Alzheimer's, although no one else was aware of this. My aunt and grandmother live in southern California and my father and the rest of the family all live in the midwest. It is about 29 hours to my grandmothers house from my Father's home. My father has multiple health issues that prevent him from traveling. We do not even know where to begin. Looking for suggestions as to where to start in this process. My father has a copy of the living trust but has not read it in years... he believes he may be a backup POA, but is unsure. It is all made more tragic by the disappearance of my aunt and the worry over her. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I think it is their desire to relocate my grandmother to the midwest so that there will be a support network there to help care for her.
I can't imagine how frightening this would be. I sure do hope the missing lady is found and is okay.
This lapse in taking immediate action has always bugged me when watching NCIS, the investigation goes this way, what is wrong with people that they cannot take action to help elders, when the need is now????
Alzheimer's is nothing to mess with, and a paid caregiver cannot be family and make necessary decisions for grandma.
You might want to obtain the phone number of a neighbor, so that you can ask what they see going on at the house of your grandmother, someone who might know her, but be low key, not giving out too much information. ????
One of the most difficult things for me has been sharing the information to the persons with the ability to act, but they just cannot, and nothing is done, when an earlier intervention could have averted real tragedy, and yes, in my experience, even death of the person requiring help and intervention by family.
Sorry your father is sick.
Praying for the best outcome for everyone involved.
I have researched medical transport by ambulance, and the cost is prohibitive, thousands of dollars. How old are you, can you go, or anyone else instead of your father, someone who can move a person out of their home? Can you drive her?
Keeping your family's privacy in mind, can you post an area, such as L.A. County,
San Diego, Orange County, etc. so that someone can look up the nearest senior center/Area on Aging-or, you can try calling the supportive services department of her local senior center if you can google it yourself and find it online These people can recommend services that the already know are reputable in the area.
Can you call the caregiver/assistant to recommend someone, or the agency where she works can recommend movers.
There are different ways to approach this: One is the private way, just go get her
and Two is the get social services involved way, in which you will need a document every time you turn around to breathe. There are other ways.
If police are involved then they will know how to search for her whereabouts -
I'll pray for her safe return -
Keep us posted and if you like send me a private message - what part of SoCal are they located? If your dad cannot locate a copy of the POA then you may need to get a local attorney to advise you
Since the aunt's disappearance may be on the news with identifying information, it would be safer to just say she is found when she has been found.
If you are worried about privacy issues, you can change your screen name and return with a new question, not mentioning your missing aunt or that the area is Southern California. AC administration can assist you with this. Their policy is not to have personal details for your protections. No worries, everyone here are really good people, very few trolls or spammers. You will be fine.
I would definitely try to discourage your father from going to CA. With his mobility issues, the trip would be too challenging and fatiguing for him and would only stress him out. And it would tire out the family members as well.
Back in the early 2000s I had to fly to Texas to bring my parents home from the Winter Texan RV park. Both were in wheelchairs. I had to have assistance just getting into the local airport, and at the Dallas-Fort Worth changeover. If it wasn't for the plane staff of American, we never would have made the changeover and would have been stuck at D/FW until we could get another flight out.
It was VERY stressful.
As to your aunt, does she generally purchase with charge or debit cards? At some point she'll need to buy groceries, and the police can locate her general area through backtracing the charge purchases. I do hope she's just gone to ground somewhere for respite.
This must be such an unsettling and stressful time for your family. I hope your aunt is found and is safe, and that you're able to work out an arrangement for your GM (and your aunt if necessary) that accommodates everyone's needs and safety.
Good luck!
even if it is long distance then the assistant should not be talking to the authorities that should be your father or you - adult protective services may need to be called in unless someone is with grandma now
This is a terrible situation - I'm sorry for you
I'm in sourhern California and it is a large area -
BURBANK, Calif. (KABC) -- Burbank police have located a 70-year-old woman with Alzheimer's disease who had been reported missing Friday night.
She was last seen Friday around 6:30 p.m. near xxxxx and xxxx streets. Authorities said she left her house between the time when her caretaker left and her daughter would arrive home.
She is described as 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 185 pounds.
Burbank police announced late Saturday afternoon that she had been found safe, but they did not provide any details on the circumstances.
News out of So. California-hoping this is your aunt, found Saturday.
Will the caregiver stay with auntie?
Calling the local hospitals might help. Private message me if you cannot google her area.
Where are those caregivers who are clairescent when you need them to find someone?
I'd also be having conversations with the paid assistant to get all of the information you can about the state of grandmother and aunt. You can also contact their local Area Agency on Aging to see what kind of help they can offer your grandmother until the situation is stabilized.
Depending on your Grandmother's Alzheimer's, it can take 3 shifts of full-time caregivers to help her. And I bet your Aunt never got a good night sleep. I remember my boss taking the night shift for his wife, and most of the time he came into work only having 2 or 3 hours of sleep, as some with Alzheimer's are up all night.
Hopefully Grandmother has enough funds to bring in 3 shifts of caregivers until other plans are made.
As for the POA, if your Dad isn't a POA, then unfortunately no one else can be appointed POA as only Grandmother can do that only if she understands the legal documents. Guardianship might be the next step.
Now, I hope your Aunt is found and is recovering. I would be surprised if she didn't have a nervous breakdown and went into hiding.