I need assistance taking care of dad. Numerous health issues are compounding and spiraling out of control. The future does not look good. He has dementia yet is highly analytical. I’m feeling traumatized by some of the stuff I’m now doing. I work full time. He lives with us.
Pcp is helping by ordering assessments to try to get Medicare paid. Dad answers questions falsely, eg he still drives, makes meals, doesn’t have trouble dressing, toileting, etc. In fact, I dress, mandate he showers, brush his teeth, he hasn’t made a meal yet alone served himself a prepared meal from the frig in over 3 years, his car has been gone for 4.
Hospice eval told me he has all his faculties and lives independently. I have never been so shocked.
How do I navigate this, especially when my Dad will dispute my correct answers during assessments?
If he can't cook a meal, I would be asking hospice how they determine 'independent', because cooking for oneself should fall under the category of 'needs no help' to live alone. Something is seriously wrong with their evaluation.
On the next test he takes, you read the questions to him. When he says yes he still drives, ask him when the last time it was. And ask how long his car has been gone. It is very possible what happened 10 years ago is still as fresh in his mind as yesterday. He may not even realize that he is no longer doing things. Current memory often leaves first. So you dressing him this morning may be gone by noon. However him, dressing on his own 4 years ago, maybe what he really remembers as current info.
My mom also tells tales about what she does or is capable of, even to me. I'm like "WHAT???!!!" and then proceed with a reality check (if someone else needs to know the truth).
Correct his showtiming and/or confabulation when it is happening in front of a medical professional. I just look at them and give the truth when mom can't remember of sugar coats it. She doesn't hear well so I'm assuming that most of the time she doesn't even hear or understand what I say. Or won't remember to be mad at me! So just say what needs to be said without making a big deal about it or directly challenging your dad.