Almost 70 year old father accusing mother of having an affair. He verbally and physically abuses her. He is having mood swings, crying bouts, thinking about when he was younger. When he awakens from his nap he is angry. He doesn't think he has a problem at all. What can we do? Help!!
Dealing with a person with a brain impairment and/or mental illness can be dancing. You have to think outside of the box in getting them to doctors sometimes.
My mom's geripsych wanted mom to have cognitive testing. We told her we were going for a "baseline measurement ". She accepted that. Some folks have told their parents that there is a new "government requirement". I like CM's idea about asking dad how he's feeling physically.
Many years ago, my dear FIL started falling asleep constantly during the day, during family and holiday meals. My MIL was convinced that he was depressed and wanted to get him checked out by a psychiatrist.
My ex and his brothers convinced her to take him back to his PCP; it turned out that he was in renal failure and needed dialysis.
We have a saying in my business (which is checking out small children with developmental issues)--check the equipment, i.e., hearing, vision, low blood sugar, anemia, etc. before you jump to thinking that something is amiss elsewhere. The same holds true for you dad. Good luck!
Can you get him to his doc by some ruse? Everyone over 65 has to have a physical, it's part of the new Medicare regs, or some therapeutic fib like that?
You need to put what is going on in writing to his doctor. Make a list of these behaviors, point by point and get the doctor's fax number. Send it in and ask what action you should take. Follow up with a phome call.
If your dad is physically abusing uour mom, or even "just" making verbal threats, I'd call 911 and have him taken to the ER. In most states, you can get an involuntary psychiatric evaluation on someone who is a danger to themselves or others.
Good luck, and let us know what happens. We care!