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I have had both medical and financial for my mother for the last two years and am thinking of transferring to the NH where she resides in Skilled Nursing. What pros and cons did you experience?
Please consult with an Elder Law attorney. Naming the NH does not seem like a good move at all, for the reasons stated by others. Plus I don’t think you have that ability. An Elder Law attorney can advise you far better than any of us.
Having the role of financial and medical POA is a job. Plain and simple. It is managing the care and life of another person. There are no benefits, there are no financial gains, there is a lot of time required and the worry that you're going to make a mistake that could cost them dearly. I understand no longer wanting do claim the role, but do you feel comfortable allowing the nursing home to be responsible for your mom? The nursing home is a business. The people who work there constantly change jobs. Would you want that entity responsible for your life? I am guessing your mom wouldn't either. Find another family member who will make decisions in your mothers best interest.
If the authority who holds POA is the NH Management - who could potentially benefit from either financial payments or have a bias to medical decisions.. it could leave room for conflicting interests or even (at worse) abuse.
If you want to step down, I'd get legal advice. I'd personally prefer a third party that was not affiliated with the NH to reduce risk (ie keep 'em honest!)
I was advised (by a Social Worker) that sometimes to preserve a relationship it is beneficial to have a third party be Guardian/POA/other authority instead of a family member. Especially if there is conflict or the legal chores are very burdonsome. This would also be to preserve your own health & wellbeing.
I have seen this myself with financial.. having a trustee in charge removed so much stress on family.
If your mother is cognizant she can change POA for her medical and financial affairs. If she is not cognizant then the POA can not be changed by you. You can see the attorney that did the paperwork to begin with and most likely what would happen is that another family member would be made her Guardian. If no one wants to take this on (not an easy task) then mom would be assigned a Court Appointed Guardian. She would then be a Ward of the State.
Seems odd. The mom trusts you enough to decide everything, so why wouldn't she trust you to make the decision that someone else would be a better poa than yourself? If you are no longer able to do it and know you are doing a crappy job, but know another person who is willing and able to do it (and mom cannot herself reassign) then it seems much better for the new person to take over than the STATE! How horrible that would be. Talk about people would don't care and just being a number in an overburderened system...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If the authority who holds POA is the NH Management - who could potentially benefit from either financial payments or have a bias to medical decisions.. it could leave room for conflicting interests or even (at worse) abuse.
If you want to step down, I'd get legal advice. I'd personally prefer a third party that was not affiliated with the NH to reduce risk (ie keep 'em honest!)
I was advised (by a Social Worker) that sometimes to preserve a relationship it is beneficial to have a third party be Guardian/POA/other authority instead of a family member. Especially if there is conflict or the legal chores are very burdonsome. This would also be to preserve your own health & wellbeing.
I have seen this myself with financial.. having a trustee in charge removed so much stress on family.
You can see the attorney that did the paperwork to begin with and most likely what would happen is that another family member would be made her Guardian. If no one wants to take this on (not an easy task) then mom would be assigned a Court Appointed Guardian. She would then be a Ward of the State.
Doesn't she have any back-up people named to take over? You can't just assign POA to someone else.
Are you no longer willing to be your mom's advocate? There must be more to this situation.