Mom lives alone in big house in NC. Fall risk. Only let me involve a care agency last year. They do shopping, errands, and transport of my mentally ill sister from her group home to mom's. Recent resumption of services after forced bed bug intervention. Sis is coming back home. There is one of the transport workers, who brought mom some food for Thanksgiving, when agency service was suspended (I had someone there pitch hitting during this time). Nice, huh? My mom wanted to xmas shop, but no one from the agency was available. So, this same worker came by (not on agency time or schedule) and helped mom out. Mom said she paid her a little to do this. I am on mom's account, checked it, and see she gave her $150. She has brought mom little crafty gifts shes made as well. I know mom loaned her money previously, which appeared to be paid back. I am an LISW, and know what a conflict this is. I think I found the workers phone #. My instinct is to call her, and tell her not to continue to do this. I don't want to get her fired. But, my mother's prior caretaker (of mom's choosing) had a similar profile, and ended up stealing $ -it took years to convince my mom of this. Advice?
You should call the head of that agency, request anonymity (for mom's safety), and get the email address to follow up in writing. Then report the girl's activities to that person, how much she charged your mom for very little, and tell him/her that she and anyone else who isn't directly sent from the agency or with your advance knowledge is never to return or contact mom again. Be sure that's in writing as a follow up to your phone call. You don't have to send the FB posts, but it's not a terrible idea; do it. Her behavior to go to the agency's elderly clients and get them to pay her directly should get her fired!, especially unrealistic amounts! Charging mom $150 or even just accepting $150 from mom for few little errands is disgusting, shameful behavior, and illegal! Some people should not be in the jobs they're in; she's one. She's taking advantage of mom, an elderly person! It's elder abuse!, and can & should be reported. Mom's at risk!
Talk to mom; tell her you're looking out for her best interests; get her to let you be involved more. Mom may feel people are being nice and helping her when they're really manipulating and taking advantage of her good nature and possible slower thinking.
Mom's 90, and should not be living alone any longer. Plus, she's a fall risk, increasing her need for safety and 24/7 available help. You'll need to either hire someone you all trust to live in or move to AL closer to family ..you? that can help her. Presumably your sister would have to move near that same area, too, but not with mom or for mom to help. They can't take care of each other or themselves. Since you don't see mom every day, there may be much more you're unaware of that's going on there.
Would it be possible to hire a live-in housekeeper for your mother? Does she have any lady friends who might be interested in sharing experiences for a place to live?