My Mom is 94-years-old with Parkinson’s and dementia . She lives with me and has round the clock aides. She seems to have gotten more energy and become more aggressive as the dementia has worsened. Is this typical? Yesterday she put on her coat and told the aide she was leaving. The aide had to run after her and was able to redirect her back home. How do we keep her from leaving the house?
I had been investigating options and found door wraps and posters that made a door look like shelves of books. I also considered adding a light lock like a sliding bolt or chain down at the bottom, out of her normal line of sight. One door is steel and I was going to try a magnetic curtain rod with a floor length curtain so she might confuse the door for a window. Especially if I slid a chair in front of it. A shower tension rod could do the same in a hall. I also considered making a box (painted the same colour as the door) that would fit over the handle (we have levers), held in place with magnets. Because ended up in care, I don’t know if my disguises would have been successful. She attempted escapes at the locked unit. (She’s in a different care home now and bedridden.)
Good luck to you!
I had a client who I did live-in care for. I split the week with another caregiver. She lived in a huge place. Totally ridiculous for one person, but that's how it was.
We restricted her access to all but her bedroom that was set up on the ground floor, a bathroom, one of the living rooms (we set up a small table and chairs in there for her meals). The rest of the rooms were locked. She was not allowed upstairs either. Two baby-gates stacked on top of each other and welded together kept her from going upstairs. The downstairs doors to the outside were lock and key. The windows in her areas had grates too. We took her outside daily, but she was not able to get anywhere other than what we called her "apartment".
Don't take a chance with curtains and all thinking the person will be tricked into believing it's something else. Gates, locks with keys on doors, and window grates are really the only guaranteed way to keep someone from wandering off.
Since you mention there are aids there 24/7 then installing door alarms plus a simple night latch at the top of the door should allow someone to intervene before she exits. It would also be prudent to inform local law enforcement that a person with dementia who may be exit seeking is living at your address, some police forces keep a file on these people so the can act quickly if necessary.... I have read that some places even supply GPS trackers.
I saw this in a house my friends just bought and we figured the prior owners were trying to keep someone from wandering.
There may be safety concerns as people have stated.
I know someone whose wife kept escaping. They lived in a subdivision, and their house along with many others was located on a small island. He tried unsuccessfully to get the subdivision to pay for a locked manned gate on the only road that went onto the island. The subdivision refused, of course. In that case I didn't understand his reasoning, since she could have easily gotten out of their home and ended up on a dock or in any of the water surrounding the island! But this illustrates the lengths at which people are willing to go to keep their LO at home.
Which I believe is an exercise in futility at the point where they start wandering. You can't imagine what they'll think of next.
There is a sure fire way to keep her from wandering at night. Lock her bedroom door and put grates over the windows in her room. That's how you keep someone in at night.
I always felt it is better to introduce a love one to Memory Care early on, while the love one can still recognize faces, makes new friends, and follow routine.
My Dad lived in Memory Care, and he would joke that his room was his "college dorm room". He really liked being around people from his own generation. And he was happy to be out of his house as maintaining that house was becoming too much for him [90+]. With the sale of his house, he used his equity to pay for senior living.
Plus the cost of 3-shifts of caregivers at his home was running him $20k per month. He was still cost conscience and liked the idea of paying $7k per month for Memory Care.
My Dad had free range of the building he was in. The front building door was locked [Staff at the front desk would buzz visitors in] and the back building door was locked. No different than any of us living in our homes, we don't keep our exit doors unlocked.
In the daytime someone has to watch them every minute the same as a toddler.
If a family wants to keep their LO out of memory care then they should try.
I have to agree with Burnt on, if there is 24hr care, then she shouldn't be able to get to the door.
There comes a time when we can't do it anymore and MC is the best choice.
You and your mother's aides need to learn how to restrain her and administer medication if needed to calm her down.
There should also be a lock on the outside of her bedroom door so she cannot wander around and take off at night. You have 24-hours aides and your mother lives in your house. The only way she should be able to get out of her bedroom at night is if you or one of her aides lets her out. Put special locks on the bedroom windows. Put grates on the bedroom windows so she can't attempt to crawl out a window.
Speak to her doctor and tell them that she had to start being given sedation and sleeping medication at night.
I'm sure I'll catch hell here for encouraging you to lock her door and medicate her at night, but really this is what needs to be done for her safety and your own peace of mind.
Also, don't rule out the possibility of placing her in facility care where there is a full staff 24 hours a day, in a building where she will not be able to get out.
It's basically the same reason that memory care units are kept locked...so the patients there can't escape.
I've known lots of folks whose loved one with dementia escaped while no one was looking and there's even been stories in the news where some have been found dead as they wandered off in bitter cold temperatures.
It can be a matter of life or death, so do what you can to keep her safe.