She is dealing with COPD, and macular degeneration, as well as congestive heart failure. My sister and I each visit her once a week or more bringing her groceries and taking her to doctor appointments. She loves her primary care doctor but is very rude to any other specialists or therapists. She is also very critical of family members and those around her. She can’t seem to accept her physical limitations but won’t try or follow through on suggestions given her to try to help. I think she is looking for a magic pill to cure all. Because of trying to deal with her rudeness to others I hate taking her anywhere. I would like to talk to a therapist about ways to cope but most resources I have looked into are for dealing with the elderly with some sort of dementia. This is not my case. I feel like my life is out of control. Does anyone have suggestions for me?
As others have suggested, if she was not like this previously, it might be the start of dementia. Our mother would say not nice things to us, either about one of us or someone else, but not in front of the person (filter). Now, with dementia, it is not quite contained (lack of filter.) So, it was always there, she just doesn't keep it private so much anymore. She is not very loud about it, but still, I can relate to how you feel. Pointing out someone who is on the heavy side is common for her, however she has gained 20 pounds in the year+ she has been in MC. She was already up there in weight before that! When getting bigger clothes for her, I repeated what the staff said about her clothes getting too tight. OOOO, THAT set her off! She does not even realize how big SHE has gotten!!! She is mostly okay during medical appointments now, but could get very testy during the initial stages - I just exited the exam room when she started that crap!