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Years ago I worked with someone who was returning to her career after a 2-year absence when she moved to another state to take care of her mentally ill sister. I definitely didn't criticize her but I wasn't quite sure I understood her, either. I saw that it was a struggle for her to fit back into the work place.

Fast forward a bunch of years. My husband developed dementia. I stayed home to care for him the first year, worked from home after that, and again stopped working when he went into hospice care.

I realize now that if you haven't been through it, (or at least seen someone go through it up close and personal) you really can't comprehend what caregiving an adult is like. Your co-workers are probably not mean-spirited or lacking in compassion. They are just ignorant. Some of them someday may face decisions you had to make, and they may decide in ways they don't anticipate now.

I don't think that the career sacrifice is a price too few will make. This forum is ample evidence that huge numbers of people do make this sacrifice everyday. You don't happen to work with them right now.

You made a decision. You are satisfied with it. You would make the same decision again. Don't let it bother you if others don't understand it. You don't need words for these people. You certainly don't need to justify yourself. You might say something like "Yes, it really is hard to understand until you are faced with the situation."
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