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We were finally matched with a caregiver from an agency we previously used after a year of not having anyone consistently since Covid. My preference was for someone willing to wear a mask. However, I didn't voice that we really preferred someone a little older without children because my concern is that children are more at risk of contracting Covid due to attending school or daycare.



Well, two weeks ago, we were sent a wonderful caregiver who mentioned during a conversation that she has a four year old. My heart sink a little but things were working out great the four times she came.



Our wonderful caregiver wore a mask as required until last Friday when she showered my father and then took him for a ride in the car. On Monday (yes, you guessed it), we received a call that she was out sick. Tuesday, we received another call stating that she tested positive for Covid and would be out for a week.



We really like her but are afraid to have her come back so the agency is looking for a replacement. I'm tempted to request her again but I'm not sure if it's in our best interest. I also have this nagging thought that if I were an employer, I could not refuse to have an employee return to the office because they contracted Covid. It borders on discrimination.

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Linnie, so glad u found your aides and they are willing to wear the masks. Wearing them has always been controversial. When I said my BIL followed the guidelines I meant when asked to wear one he did. He did not force what he believed on others, just made his statement.

Thanks for the update.
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Has covid and it's discrimination????
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
We just lost the FIL of one of our long-time members and her post of this loss is in today's threads.
He passed from Covid.

You will, as WE ALL HAVE TO, make your own best choices for yourself and your own family.
That is about all I ever say anymore about our new virus.
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Update :
I was leery of coming back to the site after some of the rude and ridiculous responses
(i.e. "she did not kick her son out after he contracted Covid...") that addressed my very real Covid concerns regarding an aide who did not wear a mask as requested but I decided to come back as this site has been a tremendous resource.

I'm pleased to report that we now have two caregivers who both wear their mask without hesitation. They are also older (in their 40's or 50's ) and more conscientious about Covid risks.

Thank you to those who responded positively and kindly and to those who had a different stance but still responded kindly.
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If she keeps him out of the NH, after she tests negative, Yes.
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A few more people have tested positive at this facility
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Hopeforhelp22 Sep 2023
Hi Cover - I hope you're able to go home soon!
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Tell agency to test her & she can return after a week or two. Also she should get pcr test which is more accurate
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Thanks so much for your responses. I will return to read them all.

Update:
The agency didn't give me a chance to say I would like her to come back even after I said we really, really, really like her. Their response was, " You will like the new caregiver just as much".
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So here is the thing. If you are going to voice that you want a caregiver who is older without children - is COVID really your only concern? Or are you more concerned about the potential increase of exposure to illnesses in general?

Kids get exposed to a whole plethora of stuff - flu, colds, hand, foot and mouth, RSV, COVID certainly, stomach bugs, mono, strep throat, ringworm, pink eye, scarlet fever, chicken pox (though not as much with the vax now), impetigo - to name a few. And while COVID may be the "scariest" thing on that list right now - there are a number of things on that list that while often (not always, but probably more often) less harmful for children - can have a big impact on an elderly person.

The other side of that coin is that while KIDS aren't necessarily the most clean tiny humans, their parents - especially if they are caregivers - can probably be counted on to be pretty vigilant in trying to keep both their children and themselves well - and their clients as well.

Where you may run into trouble is people that don't have kids - if I'm honest. Now that my kids are adults and fully capable of taking care of themselves - I'm probably not as vigilant in paying attention to their every sniffle or sneeze. And I'm not going to lie, I'm probably more likely to say "Yes you need to go to class, even if you don't feel so hot because we just paid thousands of dollars for school. So if you aren't running a fever or your insides aren't outside, you need to go to class" a lot more than I ever did when they were little and couldn't express themselves as well. And I did the same in high school. And now that they are in college - they are exposed to others who don't have ANYONE at all encouraging them or discouraging them to go or not go. And I frankly have zero idea of what or WHO they get exposed to.

During the lockdown period - that was the ONLY time I had any control over what my family was exposed to - my two college students were home 24/7 - online classes. One wasn't working, the other took a leave of absence from her nanny job - because my retired mother and my grandmother came to stay with us. My DH and I both worked from home (already full time before COVID) . I ordered groceries online and only I went to pick them up and we had things delivered otherwise. So we were very limited on exposure during that period. But we still had some exposure.

And all of those wonderful people who made it possible for MY family to remain so safe and comfortable - were exposed constantly. They never got a choice to do what we did. And they had family members just like mine who got exposed constantly.

My point in all of that - is just that there is never anyway to keep someone 100% safe. My FIL was at home during the entire "hot zone" time of COVID. He did get exposed, either in doctor's offices or by home health - multiple times. He was vaccinated. He never once got it. His bath aide came - very similar situation - bathed him on Friday (maskless) called out sick on Monday with COVID.

He's in a nursing home now. His brand new roommate - pops up with COVID day 1. REALLY BAD CASE. He had already shaken his hand and spent about an hour talking to him. FIL tested negative consistently until he was out of the woods for concern.

My oldest dd - has had it THREE times - communal living at college. (vaccinated, had it all 3 times before)

So I mean - it is what it is - as much as you try to protect them - you are doing all that you can.

If the caregiver is excellent- and you don't feel like they intentionally put your family at risk - I would certainly not close the door on a great caregiver just because of a single case of COVID, or even because they have a child after just a few times of caregiving.

Now if they consistently call out due to having to care for their child, or if they seem to put your family are risk or something that gives you red flags, that's entirely different.
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I wonder how many people who think masks don’t prevent the spread of disease, especially respiratory disease, have ever been in a hospital? People are letting their politics show.

Anyway, the concern you should have about the caregiver is whether you think she is a reckless person who is going to continue to get sick. It is not a mystery why some people have gotten COVID 3-4-5–6 times and others have only had it once if it all. If you think that she takes a lot of risks then I would ask for another caregiver but there is no guarantee a new one will be any better. You don’t know what people do on their personal time.
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Fawnby Sep 2023
If masks don’t prevent the spread of disease, then all doctors should start operating without masks on? I recently had a surgical procedure on my face. It was a local anesthetic. When the doctor started coughing as he was slicing at me, I was very glad he was wearing a mask!
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I would just relax. There are germs everywhere and you should not punish a good caregiver for getting sick. Masks are useless so I would stop the charade. Have your dad take a probiotic and immune boosting things like vitamin D3 and vitamin C.
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Covid is here to stay.

If she just had a bout with it, then she's 'naturally' immunized and you should have no fear of mom catching it.

In truth, we simply we cannot continue to live with the specter of COVID hanging over our heads every single second. I just got back from running errands and saw no fewer than 4 people, alone in their cars, with masks on.

WTH?

I'd stick with the CG who works well for you. ANYBODY can get covid. You bring in a new CG and the chance they will contract covid from another patient or from anywhere at all is a constant 'threat'.

And my SIL who is a Dr also says masks are basically useless. They just signal to other people that you are 'compliant' w/o any real studies to back them up.

SIL also has a PHD in immunology to back up that claim. We masked up during the pandemic, but looking back--IDK, we were all running on fear.
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Why would you not want her back? Five days quarrantine she can go out with a mask for a couple days longer. At 1 week she will have immunity for several months. This is not leprocy any longer
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My BIL has a PHD in Immunology and taught Doctors for 30 years at a well known College and he says masks do no good. Yes, he followed all the guidelines but says they really don't keep you from getting it. I had COVID last Summer for the first time after we were on a cruise. We were asked to test before the trip, on land 4 days so tested before getting on the ship. So that means the ship was negative but 7 out of our group of 14 contracted probably the new strain. We masked where asked, even on the ship. Oh, and we had our 2 shots and the booster.

Like the Flu, COVID is here to stay. You can die from the flu if you have health problems. Pneumonia is one of the main killers of the elderly. Any aide can contract COVID from anyone. How do u know the child is at fault. I think we need to just except COVID like we do the flu. I have not heard of anyone dying of COVID lately.

Let the girl come back. But as said, if ur requiring her to wear one, then maybe you should too. And, I have not heard of any Daycare closing down because a child had COVID. It was manitory during the shut down.
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sp196902 Sep 2023
"My BIL has a PHD in Immunology and taught Doctors for 30 years at a well known College and he says masks do no good. Yes, he followed all the guidelines but says they really don't keep you from getting it."

And this is part of the problem when intelligent and educated individuals know something does not work and they still go along with it. It's called the herd mentality and I will never be a part of that. I have never worn a mask during the entire pandemic. The only exception was once when I had to have my sick cat seen at the vet and they threatened not to see him if I didn't have one on.
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If honest, dependable, "wonderful" caregivers are as hard to find as they appear to be, I'd vote to have her come back once she tests clear of COVID. In my view we older adults can take precautions, but we can't eliminate all risk unless we choose essentially total isolation. My spouse and I did that for almost 2 years in '20-'21 but I'm not sure I'll be that restrictive again. We'll get the new vax as soon as it's available (we've already had 6 shots), and there's Paxlovid if we do catch COVID again. Despite nearly total isolation, we caught it in '21 but did not get seriously ill.
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sp196902 Sep 2023
Her son is more of a problem then the caregiver and I don't see her kicking him out of her house to protect dad from COVID.
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Most Covid deniers I have encountered have not lived in a hot spot or are not living with the consequences of Long Covid or have not lost a Loved One because a Covid infection ravaged a good life.

I have also observed personally that it is very easy to laugh off the consequences of Covid until you or someone you love becomes infected.

In my personal experience, and also what I have been told by actual scientists and trained medical professionals, personal immunity is highest after an infection and lasts at least 6 months.

Would you feel more comfortable knowing that if she were to return, her immunity would probably be pretty secure for at least that limited amount of time?
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ElizabethAR37 Sep 2023
I think it's going to be pretty hard for most people not to become infected somewhere along the line now that COVID is endemic. What older adults may want to prevent is severe illness/hospitalization. Speaking only for myself, I'm a believer in the vaccine, and I wore a mask whenever I was around people (much as I detest the dang things!) on the rare occasions when I left home in '20-'21. I will probably mask up again, albeit reluctantly, if the case count rises as expected in the fall/winter. Yes, both my husband and I ended up catching COVID in '21, but we did not get seriously ill. To me, that's a win!
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Have you tested your family members for covid? You could be unknowingly exposing others to the virus.
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LinnieB Sep 2023
Yes, we tested.
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Stop worrying about discrimination. The caregiver exposed your home to a deadly disease by not wearing a mask, and you'd made it clear that masking was what you wanted.

Number one priority is health and safety in your home. Being nicey-nice isn't even on the table when someone has had such disregard.

I hope you find someone else who cares about your wishes and your health.
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Why would you not want her back after she has had covid. Her chances now of getting covid are lessened by her own immunity built up from having it (tho you would be right to guess that she can get it herself).

If you are this worried re covid then you should yourself be masked when any caregiver is in your home.You own caregiver can return according to CDC guidelines if you wish.

Requiring care is going to leave you exposed to anything your caregivers contract whether from working on the outside or from their own families. That's just a fact of life. Protect yourself by using guidelines for safety for yourself.

When I ride the bus I mask. I take care of myself as those I ride with are exposed to any manner of things I cannot guess at.
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sp196902 Sep 2023
How many times have you had COVID?
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Yes let her return.
I bet you have contact daily with people that have COVID and don't know it or don't care.
If you found a good caregiver that fits in well, does a good job and your dad likes her and she likes him that is hard to find.
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Of course you should let her come back if you really like her. I mean just because she got Covid(as we all will or have at some point because it is here to stay)doesn't mean that she can't provide the great care you want for your father.
Good caregivers are very hard to come by so if you've found a good one for your father, by all means hang on to her, as you might live to regret otherwise.
Like cwillie said below, expecting someone to live in a bubble is very unrealistic. And who in their right mind would want to live in a bubble anyway?
So count your blessings that you've found a good caregiver for your father and pray for her complete healing so she can return soon.
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sp196902 Sep 2023
Apparently a lot of people wanted to live in bubbles because they did it willingly for 3 years over a virus with an over 98% survival rate.
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I think that insisting on a caregiver who lives in a bubble and has never been exposed to illness is very unrealistic, the covid 19 virus is pretty much endemic now and will be forever. That they are masking and taking reasonable precautions, even when the requirement to mask has been loosened in hospitals and care facilities, is undoubtedly more than many others are willing to do.
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LinnieB Sep 2023
I understand. I think I'm feeling that a much younger caregiver with a young child is more at risk of contracting it again and passing it to my soon to be 89 yr. old father. Last year, we had a Medicare funded RN who also had to call out because her 10th grader contacted Covid. The agency called and advised us to monitor for symptoms.
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I believe, look it up, some employers will not allow an employee to come to work until a whole week has passed and they test again, and the test comes back negative.. NO COVID…

so, perhaps your dad was already exposed to COVID,

so, if you like the caretaker, tell her employer thst you do like her, and,
” please let us know what her last test results r showing no CIVID in her system
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LinnieB Sep 2023
Thank you, contemplating a call to the agency but still apprehensive.

I'm sure we've been exposed or near someone who has had Covid. My 23 yr. old son (who lives with us) contracted Covid. He had not been as conscientious regarding safety precautions like us baby boomers. If he were school aged, I'm almost certain I would have to seriously consider home schooling.
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