My sister is 92 and forgets everything. She is completely indifferent. She lives in a big house and only uses one room, the kitchen, and the bathroom. Besides that, she has 2 spine operations, she can only walk with a walker.
She is sleeping 20-22 hours a day, she doesn't know if it is morning or night.
She recognizes us. I am 87, my wife is 80. We visit her once or twice a week, bring her home-cooked meals, take out the garbage, bring back some clothes to wash...She is unable to bath, even dress u
Her son lives about the same distance as we live, but he only calls, and orders some groceries. He has a PoA for her accounts, which I don't want to touch. I don't know who is he responsible for. Naturally, he is the first of kin.
I can't prove it, but I have a feeling, he is exploiting her.
She should be in a nursing home, but her son keeps telling she is OK.
I don't want any confrontation within the family, but she needs help.
I truly hope your sister has left all of her money to the Humane Society.
Clearly, at this advanced age and in a condition where she cannot dress nor feed herself she should now be in care.
I would call APS. In absence of APS in your area I would write her doctor and ask what authorities should be informed that she is for the most part home alone without care.
In the current circumstances she may die in her own home. In the current circumstance who is to say that isn't what she would PREFER over another few years in a facility. However, it isn't something you can allow to go on. It is on the face of it neglect.
If you are afraid of SIL I would tell him that you are not to be put down as the reporter. However, the fact is that he is neglecting this woman who is in need of care, so whether or not he is upset should not be your first concern I am thinking, as regards your Sister?
Or you could report the situation to APS and they will do an investigation.
I am sorry that she isn’t in a facility where she would receive care.
Wishing you all the best.