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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
That's so good that you took her. And yes, it's good when our mother's friends see them off. I'm sure she'll enjoy the luncheon and perhaps see other old friends. You are a good daughter.
She did very well. She did cry but was ok. I'm glad we took her. The kids were glad. We are not taking her to the funeral but the family does want her and my dad at the luncheon afterward.
I think that it depends. Does the person with dementia want to go to the funeral home? My aunt has had several relatives die in the past few years since she has had dementia. She did not want to go to any of the services but she did want to go to the funeral home outside of the regular visitation hours. If it was from say 2 until 6 I took her after everyone had left. This was primarily so that she wouldn't get upset and upset the others. I prearranged this with the funeral home. She signed the register. Later after the burial I took her to the cemetery. She always wanted the memory folder and often out of town relatives would come by and visit her after the services. So she took part in her own way. My FIL died before my MIL. At the visitation MIL got very upset several times when she would see his body in the casket. She knew he had died but would forget. The next day at the service she was amazing. At the cemetery when taps were played, she stood from her wheelchair and placed her hand over her heart. There was not a dry eye. She was obviously very ill but had a natural or appropriate response to the situation. She died 1 month and 1 day later. There was never any thought of her not going to FIL funeral. I think the family needed her there. So again, I think it depends on the circumstances.
"Person with dementia" covers a huge range of cognitive and behavioral abilities. I don't believe there is a one-size-fits-all answer to this.
Also, perfectly healthy people have a wide range of attitudes and reactions to viewings. Some find it helpful in accepting the finality of the death. Others prefer to remember the person alive and don't want to view them dead.
So, what was this person's attitude before the dementia appeared? What is this person's memory like now? Will he/she be more likely to remember that the friend is dead by going to the wake? Or will he/she still talk as if the friend is living? What was this person's reaction to the news of the death?
I'm afraid this is a case-by-case decision. But please understand this: do your best to make a good decision and then don't second-guess yourself. Don't let yourself get into the "oh, if only I had made the other decision" mode. Do your best and move one.
Caregiving really throws us into situations we've had no preparation for, doesn't it?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You are a good daughter.
My aunt has had several relatives die in the past few years since she has had dementia. She did not want to go to any of the services but she did want to go to the funeral home outside of the regular visitation hours. If it was from say 2 until 6 I took her after everyone had left. This was primarily so that she wouldn't get upset and upset the others. I prearranged this with the funeral home. She signed the register. Later after the burial I took her to the cemetery. She always wanted the memory folder and often out of town relatives would come by and visit her after the services. So she took part in her own way. My FIL died before my MIL. At the visitation MIL got very upset several times when she would see his body in the casket. She knew he had died but would forget. The next day at the service she was amazing. At the cemetery when taps were played, she stood from her wheelchair and placed her hand over her heart. There was not a dry eye. She was obviously very ill but had a natural or appropriate response to the situation. She died 1 month and 1 day later. There was never any thought of her not going to FIL funeral. I think the family needed her there. So again, I think it depends on the circumstances.
Also, perfectly healthy people have a wide range of attitudes and reactions to viewings. Some find it helpful in accepting the finality of the death. Others prefer to remember the person alive and don't want to view them dead.
So, what was this person's attitude before the dementia appeared? What is this person's memory like now? Will he/she be more likely to remember that the friend is dead by going to the wake? Or will he/she still talk as if the friend is living? What was this person's reaction to the news of the death?
I'm afraid this is a case-by-case decision. But please understand this: do your best to make a good decision and then don't second-guess yourself. Don't let yourself get into the "oh, if only I had made the other decision" mode. Do your best and move one.
Caregiving really throws us into situations we've had no preparation for, doesn't it?