My 67 year young husband was diagnosed in June with Alzheimer’s. He has been told he can no longer drive or deer hunt. How do I handle this?

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My 67 year young husband was diagnosed in June with Alzheimer’s. He has been told he can no longer drive or deer hunt. How do I handle this?

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Ken has been enjoying the act of deer hunting for most of his adult life. He puts together his own tree stands or buys them. He has never killed a deer—mostly enjoys going out in nature and being a woodsman. For our 1st Christmas 20 years ago I bought him a gun cabinet. He feels he can still safely get in his tree stands and not injure himself or others. Either with bow and arrows or shotgun. How do I handle this. He has his mind set that he will deer hunt in the fall. Do I just remove all his hunting gear from our home?

Alzheimer's & Dementia Dementia Behaviors Early Onset Alzheimer's Home Safety

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If I hear one more person suggest the disabling of weapons I swear I will slap you take his guns away take his car away a person with dementia with a weapon or a car is dangerous he could accidentally kill someone also if officers see him armed they will shoot him because they don't know his gun is disabled officers are trained to shoot on site if they feel they are in danger and they will react on that training because they want to get back home alive please don't put your loved ones in danger I'm sorry that I'm rude about this but you need to not take any chances

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HI, BethS12,
I see that your August 12th message got posted three times. I had the same issue until I double-verified that two identicals were posted. So, next time, I got it and edited the second message. Bottom line: the activated Post Answer button does not always disappear but provides opportunities to do additional postings.

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Can you get second opinion? Did he get brain MRI? Hugs 🤗

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My 98 YO FIL is a lifetime hunter, as are my hubs and his cousin. A few ( 6 or so) years ago FIL still wanted to go,, but really could not physically. So the "boys" took him out on the 4 wheeler, with no gun, but a stool to sit on. They set him all up with a water bottle and he helped "drive the deer in" . He still felt like he was hunting,, but no gun so no damage. He has fallen off the stool a few times,, but since they knew where they parked him it was easy to get him. Maybe this is an option? Its hard for them to lose their dignity and hobbies.. And no, they did not let the 4 wheeler near him..

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Thx my feeling has been that DH should not continue to have his identity stolen from. He still is and desires to be active. He has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. I like the ideas of making his weapons unable to harm others. I never heard of that before.😉 I have no interest in hunting but liked an idea someone to ‘capture’ deer/nature in pictures.

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Remove guns and ammo. Leave the other items alone for now. I have a good friend who is dealing with this very same issue with her dad. He's in his mid 70s so not ready to give up either. There is no turning back on this. He would not want to be dangerous if he could make a decision. Same for any motor vehicles, including mowers or golf carts. Locate the keys to each and don't give them to your husband.

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Thx my feeling has been that DH should not continue to have his identity stolen from. He still is and desires to be active. Still very much mentally aware that he thinks he can make his own decisions. He has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. I have no interest in hunting but liked an idea someone to ‘capture’ deer/nature in pictures.

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How do you handle this? You call the person who said dh can not drive nor hunt and have them put it in writing. Have them report to whom ever issues hunting licenses and driver's licenses in your Province or State, that dh's licenses must be pulled.

Dementia is a terrible thing, it takes away a person's autonomy and ability to reason by inches.

Personally I would not have guns in the house if there is a demented or mentally ill adult in the home.

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Thx my feeling has been that DH should not continue to have his identity stolen from. He still is and desires to be active. He has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. Someone suggested the idea of disabling his weapons so they would be unable to harm others. I never heard of that before.😉 I have no interest in hunting but liked an idea someone else gave to ‘capture’ deer/nature in pictures.

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There are people who would rather die than stop hunting. And then they do stop. I’ve known a couple of guys who were hunting, preparing to hunt or just came back from hunting who took up fishing and would choose that over hunting. My son lives to fish. Always did although he used to work the hunting in as well.
Photography is what another switched to. This will be hard for him and you. I’m sorry you are dealing with it. Perhaps you can find a support group in your area where others have dealt with the same.

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Really great ideas. Tell DH you want him to go up to his blind and take pictures so you can be part of his life.

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Don’t ever let your husband drive again.,Take the keys away and let him sit in the car.,Let him go sit in the car whenever he wants but don’t give him the keys.,My husbands Uncle had the early stages of Alzheimer’s and him and his wife took their best friends out for dinner. My husbands Uncle was driving. The Aunt knew he shouldn’t be driving but she let him. On the way home from the restaurant the Uncle got into a car accident and killed his best friends that were both sitting in the back seat. The Uncle and the Aunt were both fine. The Uncle went into a home for Alzheimer’s and the AUNT was SUED by the best friends adult children!!!! So please, don’t let him drive and kill someone, it might be you he kills.

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Thx That is a tragic story...sorry for all involved. DH has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. He still is and desires to be active. Someone suggested the idea of disabling his weapons so they would be unable to harm others. I never heard of that before.😉 I have no interest in hunting but like the idea of ‘capturing’ deer/nature in pictures.

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He has no intention of killing a deer if he takes a shotgun to hunt with.

I would get someone to load his ammo as blanks and let him go hunting.

I don't ever want to take away activities that give my loved ones something to look forward to. I figure if it kills them at least they died happy.

Please work with someone that can disable the bow and load blanks to ensure that he doesn't hurt anyone and let him build his blinds and sit out in nature feeling like the man he was.

Doctors don't know everything, regardless of what they think. They don't consider our overall wellbeing, most just want to use us as science experiments.

Help your husband continue to have some quality of life and forget about quantity.

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I think the quantity of OTHER's lives is why doctors advise patients to stop driving or hunting. Unless you are 100% confident he will not shoot, I would not do this.

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I always told my children that they should evaluate their behavior by whether or not I, the mother, would want to be interviewed on television concerning what they had done. They knew I didn't want to be the mom that said "I'm so terribly sorry to all the families he just hurt with his behavior. I know that nothing I can do or say will help this tragedy." That is the position you have to imagine - if your husband continues to drive or have access to guns or go deer hunting with gun or bow and arrow something could go terribly wrong and you'd be the wife saying "Well, I know his doctor told me not to let him do this but I thought that just this last time was ok and I'm so, so sorry that this has happened." This will be one of the really hard moments at the beginning of a really hard road but you must take away all access to guns, bows and arrows, cars, trucks.... You may find someone who will just sit in the deer stand and enjoy the moment, or change to taking long hikes in nature but any idea of "one more time" is dangerous. He isn't the one who can or should make this decision.

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When my grandfather was diagnosed with dementia, the first thing we did was remove all the guns from the house.

At first we thought we'd just unload them all and take all the bullets. But then we worried he would be outside waving a gun around, and police aren't going to know it's unloaded. He was having hallucinations of people looking in the window, or people in the yard, and we were afraid he'd try to shoot them. He gave up driving after his ophthalmologist said he was done. But he was mad about his guns being gone until the day he died. "But I need them if someone breaks in!" was his argument... they lived in a very safe neighborhood with the police station not 5 minutes away!

Maybe if he has someone with him, he can sit in a deer stand without any sort of ammo (including bow and arrow, yikes!). Just to have the experience of being in nature. He doesn't need all those guns if he hasn't ever shot a deer, really.

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Yes, how about just deer watching?

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Was his diagnostic work up done by a specialist in geriatric evaluation? If so, the evaluator may have recommendations regarding how to manage the behaviors your husband has, and how to help him address the loss of things he loves to do.

If the diagnosis was not done by someone skilled in working with the specific needs of geriatric clients, I’d consider seeking out a second evaluation, if your husband is comfortable with doing that, because you may get some tips from it that will add a little more to what you’ve already got.

When a hearing loss is present it can mimic symptoms of Alzheimer’s dementia, and sometimes with hearing aids, some improvement may occur.

There are different schools of thought about whether a client needs or benefits from “knowing” about his/her own condition, and whether his acceptance of the losses f his prior activities would be easier if he were aware of his situation or not. Obviously, both the use of firearms and an automobile are safety issues, and safety is ALWAYS the most important concern for planning for someone with early dementia.

As to removing his possessions, you’re definitely within your rights to give it a try and see what his reaction is.

Also, for your peace and for his you may have to tell him a fib concerning the disposal and whereabouts of his possessions as you move them out of your house. Doing so can be an act of kindness.

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Thx DH had symptoms of what I considered was ADD. A Neuropsychologist tested and diagnosed him at 66 with Alzheimer’s. We are waiting for an appointment with Neurologist that treats dementia patients. Hopefully he will give an answer as to what stage DH is and how to proceed. Thx for saying I am trying to solve all the problems at once. That is what I’ve been doing. I have hired respite care for me. One gentleman 3 hours 1 day/week and another 2 1/2 hours different day. It’s a start.😉

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I hope others come forward on here too. I know Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease. But if he is already told he can’t hunt or drive, I wouldn’t let him. I would be uneasy with him around a gun. He could accidentally kill himself or someone else. I would take the guns away since he is losing his mind. At the very least, get rid of the ammunition.

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What support system do you have? Is there anyone who can go with your husband, basically to SHADOW him, and I do mean to be right at his side? He is early stages now. He might be able to hunt one more season.
Does he understand what he has? What the inevitable outcome is? He has early Alzheimer's and it often can progress more quickly and placement may be needed. Are you on ANY support forums other than this one? Say for Early onset Alzheimers? There are even some on FB. You are going to need so much help and advice.
Right now you will be trying to bite this off all at once. You will be trying to address every issue you can all at once. That won't work and will break you.
I hope others experiencing and dealing with early onset with a spouse will come to speak with you on this forum.

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Someone else mention using blanks in the gun. As you DH didn't get a deer yet, then it won't seem off when he doesn't hit one, and he would be able to go hunting with a friend. Driving, of course is out.

My 67 year young husband was diagnosed in June with Alzheimer’s. He has been told he can no longer drive or deer hunt. How do I handle this?

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