We have some new kitchen equipment to be installed by an electrician and possibly a helper. Range hood, cook top, built-in oven replacements. Last summer we had two walls to be painted. Mom with dementia was a horrible pain. Our home is open/split level and I had to literally play body guard to keep her out of the poor painter's way. We had moved furniture to block her path. I hired an aide for the time to help who was useless and did nothing since I was jumping up faster than she to block her path toward the painter. In this case there are two doorways into the kitchen, but there is going to be a lot of back and forth to get the items from the living/dining room and possibly going out to the truck for supplies. We can lock her out of the kitchen (the old coat hanger over the two knobs on louvered doors) but if she gets in...it will be hell. Sometimes an obvious solution is in front of you and you don't see it, so I'm asking you all...We have no family or friends that would want to put up with her; no day care/respite due to COVID; thought of dad taking her to a hotel at a shopping center but she may not be cooperative about going and she could start the "I want to go home" routine.
Dad at 103 is a wuss...but there's a slim chance we could lock her into the upstairs bedroom area and I could bring food to them...but one false move and she could be out. She has dementia, but she can be sneaky and fast. I can't be the only one whose had to do this...
Maybe an aide hired to keep her contained upstairs? Her reaction to aides before has been negative. It might even be a horrible challenge if she's downstairs when they arrive to get her upstairs to begin with...
Just kidding.
Not.
Good luck!
With that kind of work, I would get a caregiver, pretend she is a friend to take her out to lunch and shopping. Music? One of her favorite movies?
And dad at 103?! This would be too much for him to take care of mom. Maybe caregiver take them both out?
The caregiver routine has been a dismal fail as evidenced by having an aide when the painter was here doing 2 walls as I mentioned. If mama doesn't want to budge, she will not. Shows lots of resistance especially going with a stranger. She might bite on the lunch and shopping idea, but I'm telling you--these two go out for a meal and they are back in under an hour. Not at a point of having a favorite anything.
As for dad...you have no idea. He's still pretty darn sharp. He drives, golfs, mows the lawn, cleans the gutters on a ladder (try to stop him, I dare you). He's deaf, so mom's nonsense doesn't bother him nearly as much as the rest of the world.
She's just too much of an ornery challenge...but thanks for trying.
Another family member around so she can be at someone else's home for a bit?
I wouldn't rely on someone to occupy her that is a senior, poor health or new to her. A new person may not be able to relate or exert proper management of her location. So rely on people who know her well and can perhaps switch off to give the other a break. Take off work, make arrangements, etc. Can you camp out with her favorite foods, favorite movie, favorite music? Can you rent a keyboard of put one up on you Ipad and encourage her to play. It's rather amusing to add sounds in as you play on the keyboard. Or, coloring, sorting old photos, etc. Any activity to keep her occupied and not prone to enter the work area. And, watch her constantly. Don't even take a bathroom break while you're watching.
Or perhaps the day before installation you can ask her to help remove anything that would be in the way of the installation. She'll be tired by the end of the day, and that may overlap into the following day.
Or do all the laundry, including blankets, etc., and have her help you fold the items. Take periodic (water, lemonade or other safe liquid) breaks to make it an more enjoyable project.
Get out photo albums and go through them, even if she doesn't recognize the people in the photos.
She would holler up to me that this "thing" was in the way. I just could not have her coming up those steps. And she was no help getting her up and down them. Always had my DH take her up and down. When I didn't put it up, I didn't hear her until she hit the door. My fear was her falling backwards and hitting that floor.
My third floor is a den, bath and bedroom. It would have been perfect but no way to gate off the area. No solid wall on one side, just a railing going to 2 bedrooms on the top floor and that is 6 stairs up. And 6 stairs down to the living room. Daughter is an RN and suggested the ground floor. I had to eventually place her in an AL. It was shaped like a rectangle and one floor. She was able to walk around the halls. Was so much better for her.
If your mom is taking any anti anxiety medication give them prior to the work starting, about 30 minutes in advance. If she is not on any it might be a good idea to discuss this with the doctor on your next visit. (I doubt they would prescribe over the phone on short notice bit it might be worth a call. Keep in mind they all do not work, and it might take time to find the correct medication and the correct dose.
I would hesitate giving anything that would make her real unsteady due to the stairs.
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