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Old smart phone was literally falling apart so had to be replaced. Bought a Lively smart phone (used to be Jitterbug). Of course, duh, she is having issues using it!!! It's not "hard" but to her it is. I left her a very detailed note on exactly what to do, better than my previous notes and have been making her practice numerous times, hoping muscle memory will start kicking in.



Wondering if I should switch to the Lively flip phone? She used to have a flip phone, probably at least 10 years ago.



99% of her needs are just phone calls. Texts and pictures are nice too but does not go on the internet.



I have to set up and try the google voice assistant too. I didn't have her passwords with me but that's also on my list of things to try.



OMG I hate dementia!!!



She literally SOMEHOW called a friend back that had called her, crying, telling her that she was trying to call ME. Yikes. I felt bad for her friend. And for mom too, of course. And she called my sister repeatedly. But really wanted to call me.

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Even mom's landline turned into a living nightmare when her dementia got to a certain point, and it was super easy to use. The notes are useless after a certain point, too, and so are the phones. Mom was only able to call me when she asked one of her girls to make the call for her. I could tell you stories to turn your hair gray about mom and The Phone. I hate dementia too, with every ounce of my being.

Good luck
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The phone topic! Oh we have had issues with momma on this! First off she is hard of hearing but can hear somewhat better over the phone instead of in person unless you are setting right in front of her two feet away. When she went into assisted living they suggested a cell phone. Nope does not work! She never charges it and doesn't understand why it does not work eventhough you have explained this too her many times. Does not know how to check her messages. Even left written directions. She says she does not have caller ID. Yes she does. Husband has showed her this at least three times. She is able to read it. Her eyesight is better than mine since she had cateract surgery. Everytime we go visit her she will tell my husband her phone doesn't work. There is nothing wrong with it. I had a landline installed in her apt for her to have an old fashion phone not a cordless because she forgets to put the cordless in the cradle. Does the same thing with the old fashion phone though. What she does too is if there are buttons on the inside of the phone you know instead of the part that sets on the nightstand she smashes it to her ear or will have the hearing peice all the way up the side of her head instead of where her ear is and pushes the buttons. Hard to talk to her when she does this. She will disconnect you. Put her phone on mute speakerphone beep beep beep.. Say hello? Hello? Hello? Now it seems like she does not know how to work the microwave. She will be 89 in May.
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againx100 Jan 2023
I guess this is a VERY common issue. Funny and not funny at the same time, right?? I have fielded so many issues with tv remotes, phones, etc. that I'm just kind of tired of it.
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My husband with Parkinson's and dementia lives in an assisted living facility. After several unsuccessful tries with other devices, I finally bought him a V-Tech landline cordless phone which has the option of a second cordless handset with no numbers. On this second handset, there are 4 or 5 spaces where I can put either a photo or the name of each person he might want to call. All he needs to do is press the photo/name, and the phone automatically dials the number I have programmed in. The handset is portable, so he often carries it around--and I am happily surprised when my phone at home rings and it's him!
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freqflyer Dec 2022
wcl4379, my Dad had a cordless landline phone [along with a landline phone in just about every room]. Only problem, Dad kept forgetting to put the cordless phone back in its holder to recharge.
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With dementia, what makes sense to you doesn't make sense to them. In their mind, the natural progression from step 1 is not necessary step 2, so even writing out how to do something isn't going to work.

In my mom's nursing home, I called their main desk, asked to talk to my mom, and they brought her the phone. Eventually she'd just put it down somewhere (never learned to hang it up or end a call), and they'd find it for the next person. She had absolutely no context to use a cell phone of any kind, as she never had one before dementia.

Come to think of it, she never even had a microwave -- too complicated, and she was sure she would "crash" it like a computer. (Yeah, not a thing, but try to convince her of that!)
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againx100 Jan 2023
Thanks for responding. I am thinking her cell phone days might be short lived.
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MIL used the RAZ Mobility phone up to a week before she died of the dementia. Considering she had forgotten how to use even the simplest of flip phones (she never transitioned to a regular smart phone), the RAZ was a resounding success.

www.razmobility.com
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againx100 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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It sounds like at this point no phone will be "easy" for her to use, and will only cause her and everyone else great frustration.
So instead why don't you ask those who go to visit her, if they would ask her if there is anyone she would like to call and then using their own phones, can make the necessary calls for her.
Or if the assisted living facility still has a landline for general use of their occupants, they can assist her in making her calls too.
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ainorlando Dec 2022
Having visiting friends call blew up in my MIL's guardianship situation. With the RAZ phone, DH had complete control of who could be called and who could call the phone. With the friend-to-friend calling, it was a nightmare because the friends didn't know MIL was on restricted contacts. We had to ask friends to leave their phones behind when visiting her.
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againx100, even though I am tech savy when it comes to computers, I hated my Lively Smart Phone, thus I rarely use it.

I should have known what I was getting into when I noticed the Instruction Book was 150 pages long :P Hard to pickup the phone as it is so thin. My palm kept bumping the ALERT button so I had to scramble to stop the call. I need to recharge it every 6 days even if I don't use it.

Cellphones are only good if the person is able to type without any problems. If one has age related tremors forgetaboutit. My texting was a huge mess even when using a stylist pen. The book says I need to set up an e-mail account so I can go into voice mail. Say what??? Plus I have the text font at the highest level and I still have problems reading it. How old were these coders who design the software for this phone? Were the phones even beta tested by seniors?

Wish I could get my old flip phone, which had a slide out keyboard, back up and running. It was so easy to use :)

I have kept all my landlines phone in place, so I don't need to carry around the cellphone. I know cellphones are harmless but I still worry about low levels of radio frequency energy, a type of non-ionizing radiation.
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againx100 Jan 2023
Thanks for responding. I can see where this phone is kind of a pain.
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My dad has a flip phone from Consumer Cellular. $19 per month. He can no longer dial himself (he is in MC) but he used it for years before that. I have stored us kids' phone numbers on speed dial. His MC facility keeps it and dials us when he needs to call.
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As my mom's dementia advanced and her memories regressed she couldn't manage anything new. If it doesn't look familiar, they won't be able to use it. A non-technology example is that my mom can't identify a winter jacket she recieved two Christmases ago as hers, and looks right past it when getting ready to go out-she's looking for a very specific jacket from a while ago.
She has used an iPad for years to play solitaire--we use that to facetime her. Every once in a while she gets to fiddling with it and manages to call me by selecting the last phone number used, but otherwise she doesn't place outgoing phone calls. I bought her a plain push button phone for her room as well, but she doesn't use it . I'll note here that her slowly stopping her phone calls to us kids was probably dementia creep, but we didn't realise it at the time.
You might be able to replace the old phone with an exact replica and she could try to use it for a little bit, but that will eventually not work either.
I've heard good things about the Amazon shows, where you can call them.
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My mom tried a bunch of different cell phones, and the truth was, she simply couldn't ever navigate one properly. She was happiest with her landline and I completely get that! I do NOT use my cell phone as my main form od communication, but all my kids do. And I hate it.

What mom hated about her phones were that when she was talking and the other person said something, the phone would cut out. So she missed a lot of what was being said.

With dementia--that's a whole new ballgame. My MIL has some level of dementia & is deaf & does not answer her phone or her door. It's frustrating as all get out. She can't HEAR either, so the cell phone, while it's on her most of the time--is pointless. She can't answer it. DH just calls the landline, leaves a message and if he hasn't heard back from her in 3-4 days, he simply goes to her house.
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