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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My husband, Richard's initial diagnosis was Primary Progressive Aphasia. He has mild-moderate dementia. Humor helps us through much. Incontinence now part of situation. Moans and groans a lot. Him not me, heehee
Hi, Lynn47. This forum is a good place and there's no judgments here. Everyone knows how it is to be a caregiver and this is a great group to vent to and get advice from. Welcome.
From what I read in your profile, both you and your husband are still very active outdoors, in your church and with your friends. Why then are you still feeling isolated? It sounds like you're doing a lot more than most people here. Or are these things you used to do before Covid, and your husbands decline? If that's the case, then I would recommend picking those things that you enjoy back up, as getting out and about, and amongst people we love and care about is so very important, even with Covid going on. And I'm glad to read that you still have humor in your lives, as that will certainly come in handy when times get tough. As far as your frustration is concerned, and since I'm not sure where exactly it's coming from, I can only say to make sure you're taking care of yourself, by making time for yourself(away from hubby if necessary)and doing little things that you enjoy. Also it's always good to educate yourself on what exactly your husbands issues are, so you will be better equipped to deal with whatever lies ahead. You can like others have suggested too, "Google" local support groups in your area. They can be a lifesaver for sure, as they were for me during my caregiving journey. I wish you the best.
Caregiving is isolating and does cause loneliness, especially during COVID.
Please stay safe. It isn’t worth socializing to avoid being lonely.
Stay in touch with others online. I see from your profile that you are Catholic. We are a Catholic family as well. I watch the Mass on television or online.
I feel a lot less isolated since becoming a member of a caretakers support group . We are not all going thru the same problems but we know we are not alone in the frustration and isolation . I have learned that I can not do anything about the decline my husband is going thru but can adjust my response to it . I have had to look into my self and draw on things I learned years ago in Alanon meetings. The only one I can look at to change how I feel is “ME”. I have choices. I can sit on my pity pot , or not. I can lament over the sadness I feel or search for help to work thru it. I can do what I can and not beat myself up about the things I can’t . I started to think about finding some time in the confusion and stress to take care of my own need. I share and sometimes vent with close friends. I have arranged for some one to come in a few hours a week to spend time with my husband. When the top of my head feels like it is going to explode, I purposely try to put myself in his shoes and consider what he must be going thru. When he is giving me what I consider a HARD TIME, I have to remember he is also having a HARD TIME. I have also started forgiving my self when I forget all of this and verbally loose my temper. You are not alone .
Isolation is one of the most common effects of caregiving. I gave up golfing, fishing, monthly luncheons and almost all socializing. Isolation can lead not only to frustration but depression and other medical issues for the caregiver. You must find a way to deal with isolation by finding respite opportunities. Your local Area Agency on Aging can help, call them. Your church may have volunteers who will spend time with your husband. Call some home care agencies to come and spend time with him to give you some free time. And by all means, look for a dementia support group in your area. They are probably all virtual now but seek them out anyway. There you can share your frustrations with people who share your feelings. I'm glad you look for humor in this journey of support for your husband. I facilitate several support groups (thankfully resuming live groups next month) and besides some sadness, you'll find humor. As others relate their stories, they'll actually find humor in their experience and we all laugh.
Feeling frustrated now can lead to anger and resentment about your situation. Don't let that happen. Determine what your tolerance for caregiving is, what are your limits, when do you need to seek a new “home” for your husband. Yes, that time may come.
And lastly, educate yourself about your husband's disease. Find books on dementia (your library or Amazon), Google “dementia”, and find dementia YouTube videos.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am glad you found this forum. Please stay around and read and comment. You will find us a wonderful supportive group.
And I'm glad to read that you still have humor in your lives, as that will certainly come in handy when times get tough. As far as your frustration is concerned, and since I'm not sure where exactly it's coming from, I can only say to make sure you're taking care of yourself, by making time for yourself(away from hubby if necessary)and doing little things that you enjoy. Also it's always good to educate yourself on what exactly your husbands issues are, so you will be better equipped to deal with whatever lies ahead. You can like others have suggested too, "Google" local support groups in your area. They can be a lifesaver for sure, as they were for me during my caregiving journey. I wish you the best.
Caregiving is isolating and does cause loneliness, especially during COVID.
Please stay safe. It isn’t worth socializing to avoid being lonely.
Stay in touch with others online. I see from your profile that you are Catholic. We are a Catholic family as well. I watch the Mass on television or online.
Best wishes to you and your family.
You are not alone .
Feeling frustrated now can lead to anger and resentment about your situation. Don't let that happen. Determine what your tolerance for caregiving is, what are your limits, when do you need to seek a new “home” for your husband. Yes, that time may come.
And lastly, educate yourself about your husband's disease. Find books on dementia (your library or Amazon), Google “dementia”, and find dementia YouTube videos.