5 years ago I bought a home with my mom. She only lived in it for 1 year then my sister put her in an assisted living facility. My sister has power of attorney and is on all her financial accounts. My sister has helped herself to some of my mom's money. Now my mom is out of money. First I offered to buy my mom out. Everyone agreed on the amount-then my sister changed her mind. Now I plan on getting married and offered to sell the home. My sister got mad because I shared some nasty emails she sent to me. Now she says I need to deal with mom and she is dropping her off next month to live with me -since it is her home. I work full time and I have a roommate. What rights do I have?
I live in FL too, and also own property with my mother. The difference is that is where she lives, and I live in a separate place next door.
I'm only chiming in because I wanted to clarify for you that you can sell the property, and so can your mom. The best thing would be for you to use a local real estate agent with zero bias and get the townhome listed ASAP. Hopefully it sells fast, and then divide any profit in half with your mom. Hopefully the money will enable her to stay in the ALF where she needs to be. When that runs out your sister can get her on Medicaid. I hope you can talk to your roommate and they agree to move. This seems like the plan you wanted? Well, you can do it. You don't need your sisters approval.
If for whatever reason your sister does not agree to the terms of the sale as POA (and your mother is not competent to sign), or whatever, and an action for partition with the court is needed, that will be more costly due to attorney fees, and you will likely make less money on the sale because IF the court orders the sale it goes to auction. Those tend to be sold under FMV.
Hope that helps, and I also hope you come back and update us. Good luck.
Thank you so much for this good advice. Such a great reminder for myself.
Again, thank you for good advice.
Sigh.
Very well said! Thanks for being a voice of reason.
Ultimately, it all falls on the POA. She accepted the position of being POA, therefore she needs to carry out her responsibilities, instead of trying to dump it in her sister’s lap! I wholeheartedly agree with you that she can house her drunk mom, since she is the POA!
Her sister lived with her for a year and knows better than to go through that again! I’m with her, I would force the sale rather than live with ‘Mommie Dearest’ again!
Fortunately, it appears that her sister isn’t falling prey to her intimidation. She is smart to want to sell the home, get married and move forward in her life. She is not objecting to giving her mom her fair share of the sale of their house.
However, I am not speaking of moving a "tenant" out of a rental.
I'm speaking of "selling a home out from under a mom" leaving her homeless.
Hailey, it doesn't matter what you believe to be moral in this situation. It matters what the law is. If two unmarried people own a home together EITHER of them can force a sale at any time and for any reason, even if they don't care for the color the other dyed his or her care. That is simple law. The law doesn't look at age, race, creed, color, mobility or anything else.
And no, of course no one is "name calling", unless you mean addressing by name, which certainly is not a problem.
I can't know the reason this home was bought originally by a mother and a daughter together. There are more than a few reasons this isn't a great thing to do. But one of them is the fact that at any time, for any reason, one or the other can force the sale of the home.
How STUPID does/would it sound for a judge to tell a vulnerable person they "don't have any rights" to move back into their own home?
Another thing you may not understand is if the Mother is dropped off at this place, the Sister who is co owner can FORCE THE SALE of the entire property, take her half of the money, and waltz on off, leaving Mom sitting with her half of the funds.
Laws vary by State. It is great to have an opinion, but I would take care in holding one's self out as an expert on real estate or anything else.
And Judges do not change the law on the basis of vulnerability. They rule by the LAW as it is written.
I do believe I see another "Can my Mom have a glass of wine" thread coming, with us arguing it endlessly. I would say OP should call a realtor and ask about forcing sale of this property under the law. Take her half and let Mom and Sis have the remaining half of the money. Their argument will likely otherwise be as unending as our own.
I think I will have a coffee break with her and chit chat on this very subject. Would love a deeper conversation with her.
It is Mom's H-O-M-E.
No one can sell it from U-N-D-E-R her.
Not even her D-A-U-G-H-T-E-R.
Not even with a P-A-R-T-I-T-I-O-N.
It clearly states in the OP post that the sister plans on placing mom back into her "home".
Florida’s statute on this http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0000-0099/0064/0064.html
Thanks for sharing this info. NYDaughterInLaw also mentioned that forced selling is perfectly legal in Florida.
Sounds very sensible and practical in certain situations.
I wish Louisiana would have had this law of forced selling when my parents wanted to buy the lot next door.
When my father inquired about buying it, he found out that it belonged to more than one person and they couldn’t locate all of the owners.
One of the owners was willing to sell but couldn’t sell the property without having permission from the other one.
Several people wanted to buy that property but the title was never cleared to sell which is a shame, it is in a prime location. I drive by it occasionally and it still sits vacant without a house built on it.
Location does make a difference. State laws will determine what is legal for that area.
As you said, she should sell it and move forward in her life.
You can not use a partition action in this case.
This is mom's "home." This isn't "property" for luxury, rental, vacation, etc. There is a difference.
I feel exactly as you do. Sell the house and walk away from all of it!
Love your posting.
what I am not clear on, she is in assisted living and sister wants to take her out and dump her? Why?
I am still on her accounts - she put me on them years ago because I did her banking and paid her bills. She specified in the trust years ago that I am to inherit the house. The trustee and I work together to manage her finances - he has power of attorney. So far, aside from a bit of grumbling from my siblings and steps, no one else has stepped forward to take care of Mom or manage her finances. They hardly ever visit. I'm wondering what will happen when she's gone.
Your mom wanted you to have it.
That’s all that matters.
In regards to your response to me, you changed your story. You previously replied to a poster here that if your mom moved back in the home with you that your room mate would have to move out.
That was really a part of the problem you were trying to avoid.
SMH
By the way, if you ever get an attorney who tells you that you can "sell the home from under your mom" I would love to see it in writing because he told you "wrong."
1. Call a real estate attorney.
2. Call a real estate attorney.
3. Call a real estate attorney.
4. Do what the real estate attorney says.
5. End contact with your sister and let her deal with your mother's affairs.
6. Get on with your life.
In the simplest terms of answering your question "can my sister drop my mom off to liv with me because she also owns the house I live in?" I would think, yes, she can. Especially if there is no more money for mom to live in AL. I can't imagine any court telling someone they aren't allowed to live in a home they partially own.
Can you be forced to take care of mom? I would think not, but you will have to tread very carefully with that, because the automatic thought process will be elderly mother + child under the same roof = child is caregiver. It will, unfortunately, be on you to prove you are NOT her caregiver. And for that, you might need to contact an elder attorney.
However, you have another problem that I haven't seen addressed in the answers, and that is the additional problem of your "roommate". If you are collecting rent from this person, then regardless of how you term your relationship, you are a landlord and (s)he is a tenant. And with that, your "roommate" has rights to live there, too. For example, suppose there is a lease (and I hope for both your sakes there is a lease, because then at least there's an end date in site), and the lease runs through next June. If mom has no more money for her AL, and decides (or sister decides) that she is going to come to the home that she is co-owner on, if you go to your "roommate" and say "hey, (name), my mom is being thrown out of her AL and has to move in here, so she needs her bedroom back, You're going to have to move.", your roommate is well within her legal rights to say "nope, I'm not going anywhere, I have a lease and I've been paying rent. Sorry for your troubles, but they are YOUR troubles, not mine." And if there is no lease, that can become even trickier if your "roommate" refuses to move, because then you're looking at eviction proceedings. So you might end up having to not only share the house, but also your room, with mom.
You need to find an attorney that specializes in property law and property disputes. And ONLY after getting the advice you need, make an informed decision about the best way forward. The only thing I will tell you above any legal advice you get is don't allow this house to keep you prisoner in a situation that isn't really tenable going forward. Too many people stay in terrible situations because they don't want to "lose the house". Don't fall victim to that mentality.
Good luck.
The poa name should also be under the primary person's name on mom's banking accounts. If sis name is on top of the account with mom's name under it, that is not good. It is now her account. That means shenanigans. That was pointed out to me. I went over this with my lawyer. Dont know about other states, but that is true in my state.
You put in $x. Mother put in $y. The remainder of the purchase price came from a mortgage for $z *in mother's name only*; but you make the repayments. Now your sister wants you to take out a mortgage of your own? - would you even get one?
For one year - what happened with the running costs? Did she pay them? You? Both?
Then mother was placed in an ALF by sister. How were the fees paid?
But my head is already spinning.
You know, looking back, I could see that I'd been rash and groundlessly optimistic when I bought a house with my mother and my then partner as tenants-in-common, with our respective shares and liabilities and all the possibilities we could think of (which, ah fool that I was, did not include vascular dementia and 24/7 care) all put down in black and white by a trusted and reputable property lawyer. If I'd known then what I've learned since... well, there it is. Next time I'll make better mistakes.
But the buggers' muddle that you and your sister seem to have created makes mine look positively, owlishly wise. Don't you and your sister both think you had better find professional advice to help you find a way through this? It seems to me that you are pretty much in the same boat, with pretty much as much as the other to lose.
They need a professional to mediate and help them navigate through this difficult situation!
CM,
Glad you shared that purchasing a home with others is risky!
At least your endeavor worked out. I feel for those who run into problems.
I couldn’t do it. I would have rented if I had to rely on anyone else for money.
Geeeez, I had to work two jobs at times. It was worth the hard work and long hours for peace of mind.
One more word of advice!
Don't waste your time responding to people on this site that are flat out rude!!
You most certainly can take there advice into consideration, but some people just like to stir the pot and you won't get anywhere.
Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk!
I will start by saying that I'm not an expert, however, as my Aunts POA I know that her money is to be kept entirely separate from mine!! Even though my name is on her accounts, I am only to use it for her expenses!!! It's a criminal offense for me to use any of her money for myself!!
Misappropriation of funds!
If Sis has truly been using Moms money, she could face jail time!
Do a little research on the subject. It may sound horrible, but you could use it against her if she insists on her emotional blackmail.
As others have suggested, you should see an Elder care attorney!
I'm so sorry for the grief and stress this is causing you during what should be the happiest time in your life!!
Sending you prayers and ((((hugs))))
Speak to an attorney. You will receive all the information that is needed.
Wishing you the very best. So sorry that you have dealt with this stressful situation.
I wouldn’t discuss anything further with your sister or your mom. You can’t resolve something without the knowledge of knowing for sure what can be done legally.
Reaching out to this forum for moral support is completely understandable.
Please ignore any hurtful comments by certain posters. Listen to the supportive posters.
You say that you did your best and followed your SISTER’s advice to get a roommate.
Document everything and anything that your sister says or does so you can pass it onto the attorney.
Make sure that you tell the attorney that your mom is an alcoholic and has been to rehab three times. Looks like sissy and mom aren’t very credible. You’re going to pull through this.
You’re at a crossroads and need serious advice. Get a professional opinion to help guide you. Move forward and put it behind you. One day it will be a distant memory.
Start building happy memories with your new husband. Take care.
Mom is not easy to live with at all. Sissy lives far away. You stepped up, did it all. Mom went into assisted living.
It was smart to get a roommate to help with bills. What’s the alternative? Go into foreclosure.
You stated to sissy that you couldn’t stay home and be mom’s babysitter all day.
You have to earn a living. You have paid your share. Mom is not wealthy for you to take advantage of.
Sissy wasn’t responsible as POA and mixed up her money with mom’s money.
You’re correct in calling the whole thing a mess!
Sissy had no clue as to what you were going through with mom.
She is trying to place the blame on you and wants to dump mom on you! Typical!
Sell the house! Force the sale like NY Daughter in law said was legal in your state.
Find an attorney and an agent! Live in peace with your future husband. Let sissy deal with mom. She’s the POA!
The OP is just as wrong as her sister and just because you post over and over nonsense that supports you got a raw deal does not mean it is so all the time.
OP opened mom up to tax evasion and liability. Getting a roomie was not smart, it was irresponsible.
The state should take mom and the house.
So are you saying you are co-mingling funds by depositing the rent monies into your personal account? I am positive the security deposit is in another account correct? So, are you or mom paying taxes on the rental income? What liability waiver and insurance policy do you have in place to protect mom? The rental agreement? Does your HOA even allow rentals? Did you do a background check?
Yeah, I think you are lucky I am not your sister because as POA, my job is to protect mom and this would not fly. As co-owner, your rental income could push someone over the threashold for Medicaid.
So, you also think your roomie is entitled to mom's room? No, it is technically her home. As for care, there are resources available for in-home aides.
You and your sister have both screwed this up. Time to make nice.
Legally with Covid19 I don't know if I can even evict my roommate. Yes the HOA did a background check-that is mandatory. I have done the best I can. I am under constant stress trying to figure everything out
Things are not adding up here.
You stated, 5 years ago, you and your mom purchased a home together. After 1 year of your mom living there, she entered into an AL and you had to get a room mate.
NOW you are saying, "If your mother moves back into your home, your room mate will have to move out and that your mother's SS will not cover the expenses in the home.
How is this so?
This is what I see going on here. You and your sister have bailed out on your mother.
1) You do not want your mother moving in with you because you
do not want your room mate to leave.
2) Your sister has spent all of mom's money, now she wants to
dump mom back to the home.
The ending to this story is, "If your mom's name is on the deed, she has every right to the home as you do." No one can take this right from her by "selling it out from under her."
Now to your question; You asked what rights do you have? You can let your mom in with you, you can move out or you may can sell your part to your mom.
SN: As far as the care for your mom, that's another story.
I hope you all can work things out.
My mom doesn't have the money to buy me out or pay the entire amount of the HOA, mortgage, utilities, upkeep and a full time caregiver. I don't think she can find a roommate who will pay 1/2. The house will go into foreclosure and then neither my mom or I will get our investment back.
That's why selling it is the best idea at this time.
You haven’t revealed much about your mom. She may be a lovely woman. I hope that she is.
Mom may be a pot stirrer and pitted you and your sister against each other.
If mom has done that, it’s a shame and I am truly sorry.
My mom did that and it creates havoc for everyone and usually backfires on moms who set up their kids.
Your sister is utilizing her POA position to have everything in her favor. Too bad she isn’t interested in teamwork because both of you are mom’s daughters!
That’s her problem if she can’t get Medicaid due to the look back!
Sounds like she left a paper trail with her emails to you and she is furious with you for sharing them.
She shouldn’t have sent them if it she didn’t want to expose herself. Save those emails!
Just speculating here...reading between the lines.
Please correct me if I am wrong but it seems like she wouldn’t get mad over innocent emails, would she?
Why is it so important to her who sells the house? Of course, you want someone local to sell the home. They are most familiar with the area.
Does she object to your fiancé’s son getting the commission? What is her story? I would be more concerned over selling the house, rather than focusing on who sold it. A compromise may have to be reached.
She sounds like a major headache and mom’s favorite!
Wishing you much happiness in your married life!
Resolve this mess and enjoy your life with your new husband and stepson.