My mom had a stroke in October and lost left side balance/coordination, she refused the MRI and we don't know the extent of the damage it cause. She started declining rapidly, hallucinations, aggressive physically and verbally. They said at first dementia with sundowner because it was mainly over night but then it progressed to daytime episodes (what we called them so they didn't sound ugly) they said the stroke might have cause some form of schizophrenia. In October hospice reached out to me saying her PCP had referred them so I could get some help with bathing and care even though she was terminal she was end of life terminal.
2 weeks ago she started a sharp decline where she stopped taking her medications, eating and 2 days she even refused water. Then one day she woke up hungry but would eat once a day but at least it was something. Yesterday 3/9 she had one of the worst days where the anxiety meds would not even calm her down, a family member (not blood related to her) came over even after I asked them not to because nurses where here trying to calm her, she still came. She started causing a scene saying the she needed to be in the hospital and I told her no she is on hospice and has her care. Now this person hasn't seen her in over 5 years and does not even know what her end of life wishes are. I have POA and AD. I asked her to leave and she refused. The hospice nurse also asked and she refused. She ended up leaving late afternoon but sat outside in her car and called the cops and adult protection services claiming I am abusing her and not getting her the medical attention she needs. I explained to the police officer that she was DNR and did not want artificial life of any kind. APS came today and I explained everything showed all the proper documents. After all of this they still said I was not being compassionate to the woman that raised me.
So I want to know if blocking them on social media, phone calls and not allowing them to visit was the right thing to do? Now they aren't her blood and havent been in the picture for over 5 years if not longer.
Of course block her. Do not let her visit again after how she riled your mom up. When the time comes, I wouldn't even invite her to the memorial with her disgraceful behavior. The only obligation you'd have is to forward any amount that she was bequeathed from a will. Hopefully that's one dollar.
Other than that, I'd never talk to the woman again.
I agree that you should definitely block this family member who isn't even related to your mother on your phone & social media. I'd also look into a restraining order b/c she may show up again and refuse to leave. It's quite rich that she shows up, out of nowhere, with all this 'concern' after being out of the picture entirely for the past 5+ years, huh? What on earth is her motivation in doing so, I wonder? Suddenly she's the 'concerned family member'?? Smells like rotten fish to me.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with THIS nonsense on top of all the grief you're already dealing with. I hope God gives you the strength to cope with all the stress.
To add an additional layer, post a no trespassing sign at the entrance to the property.
You don't need to do a no contact restraining order, you just need to call the police.
Never let her in the house. Keep doors locked and give her a taste of police authority for trespassers.
I am so sorry that you are losing your mom. I pray that you can stop this person from making this harder then it already is.
Opening the door after letting them know not to arrive... not the best move :(
Ah, where there's a will, there's always a family!