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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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The person in question has damage to her brain. Real damage that will be visible if she has an autopsy, and may also be indicated now with certain imaging.
Many people with brain damage due to dementia can put on a great act of normalcy for brief periods. This is so frequent there is a name for it -- it is called showtiming. This takes a lot out of the person with dementia, and they may be very tired and/or especially nasty after an episode. They lose the ability to keep it up even briefly as the dementia progresses.
The game she is playing is "Try to fool my son into thinking I'm OK."
Her abusiveness needs to be dealt with as part of her dementia. Has this behavior been discussed with her doctor? Sometimes medication can help with anxiety and aggressiveness. There are videos on youtube by Teepa Snow about how to interact with persons with dementia when they are having difficult behavior. And other experts also have videos that can help.
Accepting negative behavior is part of being a caregiver. Yes, it is very difficult particularly when the symptoms just begin and the caregiving is new. You need to understand and be tolerant of the behaviors as there is not a way to keep these from occurring on even an infrequent basis. Do not try to argue or correct the behAviors that will not help to alleviate the situation. You cannot convince dementia of anything. The best course of action is distraction/redirection talk about something else that they will enjoy, turn on music, read to them, anything to take the current situation to another place.
The Teepa Snow videos on YouTube is an excellent suggestion.
Good question. From my experience, they seem to be combined and it's important to try to go with the flow as much as possible, i.e., not take things personally, try not to engage in an argument, and making sure you have enough time for you and what you enjoy doing. Just an initial thought. I'm sure others with more experience will have good suggestions. Hang in there.
On the rare occasions when her son turned up, my person with vascular dementia beamed all over her little old face and engaged in discussions about digital photography and the wearing of the niqab among schoolchildren. It could be extremely galling. In hospital, less than 12 hours after a major stroke, she took the telephone from me when he rang the ward and right on cue said "I'm fine, how are you?" Yeah, fine. Apart from the stroke and everything...
Caustic and verbally abusive partly reflects how awful your person must be feeling in the everyday, but more to the point is unleashed by the loss of inhibition caused by damage to the relevant brain centres. Physically abusive? - this does not have to be tolerated by anyone. What is going on exactly?
Okay, the person in question is supposed to have vascular dementia, but when her son is on the scene she is normal. When she deals with her caregivers, alone, she is verbally caustic and abusive, as well as physically abusive. I just need to know if she playing a game with those involved, and if so, how should the situation be handled. Thanks.
Countrymouse, sounds like you are going thru the same routine as me....highly frustrating...kinda saps the sympathy right out of you. I was her biggest advocate at the onset, and am having a difficult time believing that the selective ugliness is part of the disease. What I don't understand is how some people with dementia are just as sweet as can be, while others turn into monsters. Knowledge is power, and what I need to do is more research, as recommended by jeannegibbs, to have a better understanding. I realize that my limited knowledge is my shortcoming, but it is hard for me to accept this type of negative behavior.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Many people with brain damage due to dementia can put on a great act of normalcy for brief periods. This is so frequent there is a name for it -- it is called showtiming. This takes a lot out of the person with dementia, and they may be very tired and/or especially nasty after an episode. They lose the ability to keep it up even briefly as the dementia progresses.
The game she is playing is "Try to fool my son into thinking I'm OK."
Her abusiveness needs to be dealt with as part of her dementia. Has this behavior been discussed with her doctor? Sometimes medication can help with anxiety and aggressiveness. There are videos on youtube by Teepa Snow about how to interact with persons with dementia when they are having difficult behavior. And other experts also have videos that can help.
The Teepa Snow videos on YouTube is an excellent suggestion.
Caustic and verbally abusive partly reflects how awful your person must be feeling in the everyday, but more to the point is unleashed by the loss of inhibition caused by damage to the relevant brain centres. Physically abusive? - this does not have to be tolerated by anyone. What is going on exactly?
What are you having to deal with exactly, if you don't mind my asking?