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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If everyone in your family thinks you are 'overly sensitive', perhaps THEY should come care for your parents! The armchair critics are those who do nothing while pointing fingers at those who do everything. The worst of the worst offenders, in my opinion.
Has your mother been tested for dementia? I ask b/c accusing you of stealing her misplaced items, or putting them in different locations where she can't find them, is a typical behavior of an elder suffering from dementia. So is verbal abuse if it's new or worse than it ever was before. Here's a list of more symptoms to look out for:
Experiencing memory loss, poor judgment, and confusion Difficulty speaking, understanding and expressing thoughts, or reading and writing Wandering and getting lost in a familiar neighborhood Trouble handling money responsibly and paying bills Repeating questions Using unusual words to refer to familiar objects Taking longer to complete normal daily tasks Losing interest in normal daily activities or events Hallucinating or experiencing delusions or paranoia Acting impulsively Not caring about other people’s feelings Losing balance and problems with movement
Per your profile, you are planning to move out on May 1. See if you can get mom to the doctor for a cognitive evaluation so you know what you're dealing with beforehand, if possible.
Why do you feel that you're responsible for your mothers care when she is only 46 years old according to your profile? Good grief, I have a daughter who is soon to be 43 and she home schools her 2 teenage daughters who remain at home, cares for my oldest granddaughter who hasn't been able to walk since a hip surgery that she had 1 1/2 years ago, plus is taking online courses to complete her schooling. Your mom is WAY too young to be needing you to care for her, so I'm glad that you're moving out soon. There is no reason that you have to put up with her nonsense, nor care for her. She is not your responsibility, but is your fathers, so hand the reigns back over to him and get the heck out of their house. It's time that you start living and enjoying your life, as the longer that you're there the more beat down you will become. So please for your mental health's sake get out ASAP.
And on a side note, I found great humor in the fact that you called your 46 year old mom "elderly."
This is quite common, this blaming others for misplaced items. If you are caring for your Mom and you Dad you truly could use some support. If you are experiencing feelings of depression get help from a therapist to comb out your thoughts and feelings, and to have a supportive listener, one trained to help you. Wishing you the very best.
"Overly sensitive' In my family the word was 'thin skinned". It was one of my father's ways of devaluating anything I had to say (mainly as he wanted to be in charge of the conversation.) However, my younger brother and 2 sisters still perceive me in that way. Verbal abuse is abuse, and it is much harder to take care of someone who abused you instead of cared for you. If you are in the states, call your local council on Aging, or county aging services department and find out which ASAP (Aging Services Access Point) covers your area. The folks there have lots of resources that can help..support for you but also a way to decrease your caregiver burden. Time at an adult day health center, planned van rides to the local senior center for activities and a hot lunch (gets them out 11-3,) etc. If there are other family members involved, they need to step up - provide respite care for you so you can leave for regular3 day periods, OR pay for hired live in help, either live in 24 hour care for 3 days at a time, or some other schedule that suits you. If your parents are balking at this...time for you to leave them. Tough love. Adult Protective services can take over completely.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Has your mother been tested for dementia? I ask b/c accusing you of stealing her misplaced items, or putting them in different locations where she can't find them, is a typical behavior of an elder suffering from dementia. So is verbal abuse if it's new or worse than it ever was before. Here's a list of more symptoms to look out for:
https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/10-warning-signs-dementia
Experiencing memory loss, poor judgment, and confusion
Difficulty speaking, understanding and expressing thoughts, or reading and writing
Wandering and getting lost in a familiar neighborhood
Trouble handling money responsibly and paying bills
Repeating questions
Using unusual words to refer to familiar objects
Taking longer to complete normal daily tasks
Losing interest in normal daily activities or events
Hallucinating or experiencing delusions or paranoia
Acting impulsively
Not caring about other people’s feelings
Losing balance and problems with movement
Per your profile, you are planning to move out on May 1. See if you can get mom to the doctor for a cognitive evaluation so you know what you're dealing with beforehand, if possible.
Best of luck!
Your mom is WAY too young to be needing you to care for her, so I'm glad that you're moving out soon. There is no reason that you have to put up with her nonsense, nor care for her. She is not your responsibility, but is your fathers, so hand the reigns back over to him and get the heck out of their house. It's time that you start living and enjoying your life, as the longer that you're there the more beat down you will become. So please for your mental health's sake get out ASAP.
And on a side note, I found great humor in the fact that you called your 46 year old mom "elderly."
I’m well over 46 and still play hockey. But if you turn out the lights and only hear my knees, you might mistake me for “elderly”.
If you are caring for your Mom and you Dad you truly could use some support. If you are experiencing feelings of depression get help from a therapist to comb out your thoughts and feelings, and to have a supportive listener, one trained to help you. Wishing you the very best.
If there are other family members involved, they need to step up - provide respite care for you so you can leave for regular3 day periods, OR pay for hired live in help, either live in 24 hour care for 3 days at a time, or some other schedule that suits you.
If your parents are balking at this...time for you to leave them. Tough love.
Adult Protective services can take over completely.