My sister 77Yrs old is threating to file abuse charges against my son and me. We took care of her for three and 1/2 months and would still be with her except she became angry and kicked us out of her life. She insisted on giving my son money for a car when his truck became un-drivable, I told her no that is not your problem she kept insisting, I wanted at least to have her two sons involved in this but she was very adamant that it was her money and none of their business, between my son and myself, we worked day and night for about six weeks getting her to a point she was strong enough to help herself more. She is a very large person at first was incontinent, unable to turn herself, we used a lift to get her in and out of bed, we kept her cleaned up I handled getting home health people in for her, my son stayed with her at night changed diapers, cooked her dinner and in the AM made sure she was cleaned up had her meds and light breakfast before he left for work. After he left a hired caregiver would come in for the daytime. all of this I would do on the weekend, except there was no outside help. I also paid bills for her and tried to help her manage money but she continually let me know she would do as she pleased with her money. I received no pay and did not want any, she was quite insistent my son deserved what she had done because he did so much for her. Now that she has changed her mind is it possible for her to sue or file charges I am concerned but do not feel any wrong was done to her.
I do hope this is not the normal way Elderlies thank people that have no intention except to love and help them.
a young person , per dr phil, has years and years to build his/her nest egg whereas an elder does not...
In the immediate case I would suggest waiting the sister/aunt out to see what she ultimately does, if anything. Meanwhile, you and your son need to separately sit down and document, to the best of your ability, what was said by each person and when it was said. Anything you have that might document her intentions needs to be preserved. As others said, I doubt she does anything. I imagine any attorney she might contact is going to explain how expensive such a suit would be and the less than likely favorable results, especially if she did not make arrangements to compensate y'all for your work. That is said with the assumption that the amount of the gifts was not great. If the amount of the gift was excessive, she would probably have a bigger chance of winning such a suit.
Finally, there are a lot of people on here that have quit work and have given up their lives to care for relatives. I do not think that any of us are in any position to tell them they cannot be compensated for their work. It is none of our business. That is for them and their families to work out. I especially feel this is true if one of several children are stepping up and any remainder estate will be split with children who are only there holding their hands out. In no way am I suggesting the parent should be left penniless, but neither do I think a dutiful child should have to live in poverty when they are elderly because they were the one who stepped up when their parent needed help.
Off my soapbox now.
I am really not loosing any sleep over her threat to sue because I strongly feel she was not wronged. My son and I would have been there for her for the duration If she would have alowed it. more than anything I feel it is sad to think how vonerable anyone is, being accused of wrong doing to an elderly family member when they are truly just trying to help that person stay out of a nursing home. I had searched and found a caregiver for her in the daytime hours, about 2 weeks after she ran my son and I out of her life she got rid of the caregiver, now has no one to stay with her, last friday she when back in the nursing home. There is no written documintation about the car being a gift but she did tell her 2 sons and two of her grandchildren that it was a gift. the gift was not alot of of money, would not even be an even exchange for 4 months of care my son gave her even if based on min. wage. not to mention myself.