My mom is 80 and my dad is 88. In the last year he has deteriorated in health significantly. My mother has been trying her best but he is urinating and defecating in the house, cannot often walk and is definitely paranoid about paper work and will verbally abuse her and today he threw things at her. We are at a loss of what to do. Please help. We are in New York.
We sat down with her, at a time when she was calm, and told her either she goes to see a doctor with us or she goes to the hospital with the police. We told her how much we care about her and her health, so if we had to call the authorities we would. She didn't understand everything, but she understood the police coming and taking her away, so she finally went with us. She's on medication now and her aggression has dramatically decreased. Thankfully we didn't have to call authorities, but they are there if you need them. You can take care of things yourself, like we did, but it won't be easy, and getting him medical attention is only the beginning. He will need continued care, especially if he has dementia/alzhiemers. Nice thing is that there are loads of resources that can assist you.