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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My mom does this to me too. Whenever I am in range of her sight...all she does is stare at me. It is as if she is in my back pocket. Maybe I would do this with my daughter as well? I do not think it means anything other than they love us and like looking at us thinking about the days when we were their little girls. It can be annoying on the person who is being stared at I know because it drives me nuts too. I think it is just out of boredom and/or loneliness too.
my mom does that too. I think its because they are confused, and we are comforting? I agree though, it is VERY annoying. I hate being stared at, but I try to remember its the disease...
There are lots of reason why. One maybe she see a bit of herself in you , or she knows she knows you but can not place who you are to her and the other she is remembering when you were her little girl. With dementia it is sometime hard to understand what is actually going on in their head. So just try to remember who she was to you.
Hello Chapel. I do not know your age but I would guess you are young. In my experience your grandmother is looking at your mother with love and thinking of times past. It could be that your grandmother is lonely and fixes her gaze on the one bright memory she has. Why not join her and offer her a cup of tea or even ask if she would like to help (if she can) or maybe you could just sit next to her and talk, Maybe you could ask her what she is thinking in a round about way and you may discover your grandmother feels alone and needs someone to give her a hug.. The reasons why are for you to find out. Maybe she has noticed you watching her and she wonders why you are watching her? Is there anything preventing you from joining the two of them; your mother and grandmother? I would think that three generations might have much to say to one another.
Hi there, my mother does this to me too and I think it's out of boredom in her case - she also doesn't like to be out of the loop and will come out into the hallway from her bedroom to see where I (or anybody else in the family) am - she always wants to see who is where, and what they are doing. I guess it helps to keep her up on things. (What else does she have to do?) It's annoying though to see her suddenly appear in the hallway, staring into the tv room - if you ask her if she wants anything, no, she doesn't. She also gives me the once-over and scrutinizes everything I wear, once asked me if I was going to wear my pajamas to the doctor!! She seems to have a predilection for starting at my body parts which I find very uncomfortable and embarrassing. She will see me wearing a tshirt or a top and asks if it's new when she has seen it a million times before. Again, I think it's just out of boredom and I try to remember that her brain - at age 87 - is not functioning the way it used to, so I try to just let it slide. You have to!! I am glad you asked this question, because I have been meaning to for some time now!
Hi libracat-I think you are witnessing role reversal-your mother has become the child and you are,in her mind, a mother figure. She wants attention much as a child-go on, hug her, play peek a boo-she is your baby now as you once were hers. If she was one of your grandchildren what would you do? :Play with them!" sure you would. I believe children and many old folks are angels of a sort. Some just left God and are starting on their journey we call life and others are at or nearing the end of the journey and returning to God. So treat them as angels, young or old. Love is timeless. When you described your mum I could have sworn you were talking about my lil gran daughter Addie-one of seven lights in my life!
I have experienced the same thing with my Mother. She is 89 and I have been living with her just under a year. At first when she would do this I would ask "Do you need something?" She never did - just likes to watch me even when I am doing the simple tasks. The way that I get over the annoyance of this behavior is to just block it out. It took a while to be able to do this and I had to keep reminding myself that she is my Mother and I love her. Honestly I just wanted to scream at her to leave me alone but that would be too much re-visiting my teen years -hahaha. Now I just remember to be loving and patient and not make too much out of it.
Oh my Lord, what a blessing all of these comments are! My mom is 83 now, she has Parkinson and I think some dementia, and now she just stares at me, everything I do. Like others, my initial reaction is annoyance, but thanks to all of your comments, I will remember the role reversal taking place, and when I see her staring instead of being annoyed, I'll maybe sit with her, strike up conversation about her, and just be there for her. It is so hard watching the demise of someone you love so greatly, and I just want to be sure to do all I can to let her know how very much I love her, and am here for her. Thanks so much again. Thank you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The reasons why are for you to find out. Maybe she has noticed you watching her and she wonders why you are watching her? Is there anything preventing you from joining the two of them; your mother and grandmother? I would think that three generations might have much to say to one another.
she always wants to see who is where, and what they are doing. I guess it helps to keep her up on things. (What else does she have to do?)
It's annoying though to see her suddenly appear in the hallway, staring into the tv room - if you ask her if she wants anything, no, she doesn't. She also gives me the once-over and scrutinizes everything I wear, once asked me if I was going to wear my pajamas to the doctor!! She seems to have a predilection for starting at my body parts which I find very uncomfortable and embarrassing.
She will see me wearing a tshirt or a top and asks if it's new when she has seen it a million times before. Again, I think it's just out of boredom and I try to remember that her brain - at age 87 - is not functioning the way it used to, so I try to just let it slide. You have to!!
I am glad you asked this question, because I have been meaning to for some time now!