I have a relative in a nursing home that I have been responsible for during the last 5 years. The nursing home is an hour and an half drive from my home. Other family members live in different parts of the country and are not available to help. I have been delaying surgery on a very painful foot (my foot) condition for the past year because I would not be able to drive for 2 months after the surgery. I am concerned I would not be able to get to the nursing home if there were an emergency situation.
I am truly struggling with this situation, and I think it would help me if I could hear how other people have handled a situation like this.
Thank you.
Live and learn, right? Hindsight is 20/20!
My SIL put off necessary surgery while caregiving for my FIL. Against ALL of our wishes mind you - and by the time she was able to start considering her own surgery - she had overcompensated with the other limb so much that she needs surgery on BOTH!
If there is an emergency situation - the staff are trained in how to handle it. You might be surprised how many people are in facilities with NO family nearby to visit. You have taken care of them for 5 years and and now they are somewhere safe where you can take the time to minister to your own needs. Don't let your own health get any worse.
I told my SIL if she didn't do something soon she was going to be the one that n needed a caregiver.
I surely wish you good luck. Hope you'll update us.
Get your foot fixed !
They are trained professionals who know how to deal with falls, insects in ears, residents who crawl under the bed and others who forget how to put on their socks. What on earth could HAPPEN that you and your recently operated foot would have to do? Or even should do?
Take care of yourself. During your recuperation, you can call the nursing home every fifteen minutes or so if it would make you feel better, but they'd probably beg you to stop. THEY'VE GOT THIS, so you don't have to.
You're welcome.
No, in an emergency you would not be able to get there.
This person is care.
In an emergency the care center handles the situation as the POA has dictates it be handled, there are phones, and care is transferred from care center to Hospital to EMS. You are not directly involved and you are not directly needed.
There are phone hookups.
This is life. Emergencies happen all the time. When my brother was in care I was at the other end of the state, access only by plane and covid hit. Life didn't stop. In fact he WAS hospitalized, he did need to go back to his ALF on Hospice and he did die without me there. No matter we were for our lifetimes Hansel and Gretel hand in hand in the dark woods, in the end we COULD NOT BE.
You know who you are. Your loved one knows who he/she is. You both are doing the best you can.
In life we expect the unexpected, or we are in for a whole lot of surprises.
Stop worrying about the future.
Stop putting off care you need.
Seriously, they are in the best place possible, with 24/7 care. So you go 2 months without driving there? What if you were in an accident tomorrow and could never drive again? Then what?
Stop suffering and get it done. Do you have 24/7 nursing care at home now? Get a Home RN scheduled (I have one and love them) and get grocery delivery arranged, etc. Focus on getting and feeling better! Worrying about the relative won't fix your foot. Get everything arranged ahead of time and take that pain away! YOU GOT THIS!
Do you see how ridiculous this all sounds? You would rather live in bad pain with your foot just so you can be available for this relative, in case there is an "emergency situation" instead of getting out of pain and being able to live and enjoy your life without pain.
I'm sorry but that is messed up. You sadly and obviously don't think much of yourself now do you?
While I was caring for my late husband at home, I ended up having to have 7 surgeries in 7 years(between 2011-2018), including a total hip replacement, and while my daughter did stay with us for 10 days after my hip replacement, she then had to return to her own family and I was on my own to care for my husband and myself all by myself.
And by 2018 my husband had taken a definite turn for the worse. In fact 2 weeks after my hip replacement surgery he ended up in the hospital for 10 days and because I couldn't drive yet, and was walking slower than normal, I had to have friends and neighbors drive me to the hospital so I could be with him.
We do what we have to for those we love, but that love has to be for ourselves as well.
So please get that foot taken care of sooner than later, and if need be you can always call an Uber if you feel you need to get to the nursing home for an "emergency."
Then I came to my senses and saw the surgeon.
Seriously, take care of your own health! The relative in the home has his/her needs being met.
I cringe when you say you have foot pain. A friend ignored his and just had it amputated due to post-injury osteomyelitis. Sure, you might not be able to drive to the home in an emergency. Or you may become the emergency.