My mother currently lives alone and in Florida. She says she doesn't want to come and live with me because she doesn't want to be a burden. I live in New Hampshire.
She has been giving/sending moneys to a "friend" for the past 9 years with the promise of a huge investment return. The total amount, so far, is over 300K. She is also forgetting things she has done and has already done some bad financial decisions.
My sister and I are not able to send her money, but any extra money my mother receives, will go to her "friend". My mother has also borrowed money to send to this "friend". We have tried to advise her but she refuses to believe the situation is a scam.
My sister lives out of the country and does not get along with our mother, We decided, if we have to take care of our mother, she would be better living with me.
Because of the financial decisions my mother has made, she will lose the apartment, but she says she is not afraid of losing it. She can barely make the monthly payments of the loan.
If she comes to live with me, she will not have to do any monetary contribution, but I would have try to keep her from sending money to her "friend"
What can I do that will not be a legal issue to help my mother?
How can I have her move in with me, even if she doesn't feel she needs to?
The "I'd just be a burden" is an excuse. She doesn't want anyone meddling (not that you would be meddling, just saying that's how she sees it). She's keeping details of this "friend" quiet, it seems. Her saying she doesn't care about losing the apartment may mean she either doesn't think she'll really lose it, or that the "friend" will rescue her. I'm guessing it's someone she met online?
If she lives with you, she likely will find a way to send the scammer more money. I'm also getting a feeling you would eventually be miserable if she lived with you. This site is full of caregivers who had great intentions but living with the parent after so much living apart brings out a lot of issues from the past.
Are you sure you want her living with you?
I wouldn't move from sunny warm Florida to New Hampshire willingly either, to much cold.
Why on earth would you?
Forcing your mother to come and live with you would involve a potentially expensive and traumatic (for her, if not for you) legal process with the result that your very upset mother would then be permanently in your house. Not only very upset mother, but also: if she isn't demented you can't force her; and if she is... then she's very upset and demented. And still in your house.
In any case, this is not the answer to the situation you present. Your mother is being defrauded; and although dementia or mental decline would make her more vulnerable to such scams there are plenty of people in perfect mental health who have fallen victim.
I should get in touch with the relevant law enforcement agencies in her location. Gather as much information as you can about what she's paid and to whom first. When you speak to them, ask also for contact details of victim support organisations who might be able to help.
The idea of trying to do anything about this without "legal issues" is... just unbelievably naïve. Presumably you've been trying to for nine years and your mother is $300K down on the deal. What do you have against getting competent authorities involved?
Once you have done something to protect her from the criminals, possibly organised, who have so successfully targeted her, you can then move on to addressing her health and wellbeing. You say she has been making poor decisions; do you have any other concerns about her physical and mental health?
Please do something now. The emotions your mother must be going through are heart-breaking to think about. Not just anxiety, but shame and fear and guilt - and all because these b*st*rds have stolen her money. And, of course, the cherry on top - she doesn't want to worry you. Pick up the phone and get help.