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So my mom has neuropathy and she’s on a few different medication. She’s been addicted to pain meds all her life so she’s also on subtext and gabapentin. She overtakes these drugs daily and is so messed up. She cannot walk. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve asked her to please stop doing this but she doesn’t seem to care medication is all she cares about I’m lost i’m tired of this and it’s taking over my life because she doesn’t want to be a responsible adult. I have kids to worry about and kids that have seen her act like this. I’m over it.

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This is when I had to hire help for DH aunt.
Hers was the thyroid tablet that had to be taken on an empty stomach. No matter what I did she couldn’t understand how to take the pill correctly.
Thankfully she never seems to have pain.
Nueropathy can be so painful.
I feel bad for you and your mom. She has a lot of health issues to manage.
I wonder if a (addiction) rehab would be a good idea for her? She might benefit from the therapy and get her meds a bit better under control.
You could get a little break at the same time. I really don’t understand how she could overtake them without running out before the month is out. I wouldn’t want her to get a 90 day supply. Too much temptation for her.

If she has dementia she needs help with them but if she has been overdosing it might be hard to tell. I would count the pills and let the doc know. She needs help getting a grip on this and hopefully help for the pain as well.
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First, recognize that your Mom is addicted to pain killers. What this means is that her body can no longer give her the relief from pain that she wants. She takes additional pain killers, expecting it to help, and it may or may not. Over time, she needs greater and greater quantities as her body needs the greater quantity to get relief from the pain.

I would talk to her doctor. I would tell him what you have observed. Between the 2 of you, come up with a plan.

It is very possible that the only way to get her pain under control, will be to move her to a facility that controls her ability to get the drugs. Even then, after that, she still might not be able to stay away since taking these pills has become a way of life for her. Because it is a way of life, it will take a monumental effort and self-control in order to stick with the plan. In addition, sticking with the plan means that she will have to accept a certain level of pain for the rest of her life and be mentally strong enough to stick with the plan, even though another part of her brain is screaming that pills are the answer.

My best wishes to you. I suggest that you talk to her physician to discuss with him, what you can do.
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Cmbain06: Tell her physician to stop prescribing the medications that she is abusing. Even so, the user may be very savvy in obtaining her drug of choice, even an unwell person like your mother.
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In addition to getting her some help to watch her, she also needs a pill box. She would take pills for each day or several times a day, from that box. If she cannot, then a locking pillbox with alarm will stop any pill taking except when it's time. Then the alarmed pill box will only put out the pills for that hour.

Also, Gabapentin has side effects that could cause dizziness, a bad one for elderly. My mom had to get a different med from the doc with less side effects, or at least that does not include dizziness.
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I use those tiny sauce plastic container holders - tiny round plastic containers
and I label morning and evening
and put them in for each week marked with day of week
also bought couple of those large wall clocks for elderly which clearly show day time ( and date)
that helps my end
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Geaton777 Mar 16, 2024
This doesn't work for everyone. It's not just memory, it's also confusion. I used to call my MIL on the phone and "talk her through" taking her pills every morning. I'd ask her to confirm every step and she'd confirm. But when I went there, the pills were scattered on the table, undrunk glass of water. I would count the pills. Nope, she didn't actually take it.

This woman needs a person to manage her meds.
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You do not need to feel responsible for helping her with this. It probably causes you some anxiety worrying bout her overdosing. If she is an addict, you can not solve it.
She should not be managing her medications. Someone else should be managing this, under supervised care at home or in a facility. I don't know those particular drugs, but it could be dangerous to take them away from her, cutting her off cold-turkey.
I hope you or your mother finds a suitable solution. Just remember You can not control her behavior, and your worry and stress is not going to change the outcome. You say you are over it. Try to let it go.
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Igloocar Mar 17, 2024
Thank you for pointing out the danger of suddenly removing the opioid drugs. Your mother would probably go into withdrawal, which is very serious. If the opioids are to be withdrawn, it needs to be done in a supervised medical situation where the effects of withdrawal can be managed. However, that alone will not solve the problem; she will still be addicted, just not physically dependent at that time. As soon as free access to the drugs is restored, she will become addicted again. Since she may still need opioid drugs for pain, if she is not to become addicted again, her access to the drugs will have to be limited--and she may try to figure out ways to get around a dispenser that dispenses only a particular dose at a particular time or other physical barriers to access. At this point in her life and with the drug history you describe, you are probably going to need to decide either that you will not intervene, or that ultimately she will need to permanently be in a supervised situation in which she has no way to get the drugs without someone else's giving them to her--and that may be financially unrealistic. As others have pointed out, as much as you want to help, it is not your responsibility to do so, and the effort, unfortunately, is likely not to have the desired result for your mother or for you
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Addiction is a huge problem in this age group (more than the previous and subsequent generations) and their Doctors don't seem to be managing this age group appropriately.
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Geaton777 Mar 16, 2024
With all due respect, the doctors can only do so much: if they "over prescribe" they're complicit pushers "in the pocket of Big Pharma", if they under prescribe they're clueless, bad doctors who don't care about people's pain. There's a reason so many opioid addicts start using street drugs: it's because the doctors and health insurance carriers are finally being more strict about prescribing because of the opioid epidemic. There's no perfect middle ground, unfortunately.
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See if you can get a locked, alarmed pillbox (know they can be pricy) with internet alerts on attempted dispenses. This can work if you are not there at med time. But know that addiction will do everything it can to find a way to get the needed fix. It might take true intervention via rehab or respite care to break the addiction. And that may not work either, if your LO doesn't really want it to.
Good luck.
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By hooks or crooks, you have to take over the dispensation of her meds. Overdose is dangerous. It will not be easy to do but you have to try different techniques and alternatives. Maybe a doctor's order, preferably written, can help.
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There are pill boxes you can buy that only will release the appropriate medicines. Adult day care couple days a week would get her in other activities. Needs PA or assisted living if you don't want be bothered.
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Geaton777 Mar 16, 2024
She still has to remember to open the box for the new day. I tried everything with my MIL, to no avail. She had to go to AL.
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I agree there is no way to get her med consumption under control unless a responsible person administers them to her daily.
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Your Mom should not be living on her own. She needs her medications to be managed.
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Dupedwife Mar 11, 2024
I totally agree. OP’s mother indeed needs medication management.
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How to report to a doctor when not immediate family. First try to call as a person of concern or send a letter. You need the date of birth to continue by voice or by mail. Mention who you are and your concern. If not on the patient privacy list, you will not hear back but the message will be forwarded.

Some doctors offices are good at calling the patient back ahead of the next appointment but not all. Abuse of pain medications should be a big concern to all prescribers because of a CDC best practices guide from a couple of years ago. It was a wake up call that had an immediate response on how doctors severely limited their prescriptions...for the good.
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MACinCT Mar 11, 2024
My reply to you was based on your profile that you are a hired caregiver not to your mom. You still can go about reporting on her addictions to the doctor. He might cut her off of extra prescriptions. Just remember that addictions are very different than memory loss and much harder to deal with.. You might want to join a support group like AL anon to learn about addictions.
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Absolutely nothing you can do about this but speak to her doctor about her abuse of medications, how many she is on from him/her and other MDs. If they don't address the abuse there is certainly little you can do.

If you go to Al-Anon usually affiliated with Narc-anon you will learn that you have only the ability to decide whether you wish to be around a drug and alcohol abuser or you wish to LEAVE them. You certainly can do ZERO to change them. And your being "at them" gives them the excuse of YOU are making them "whatever" and YOU are the problem.

She will soon enough be injured by "going down" behind this abuse. Once in care medications can be managed. From sad first hand experience I can tell you that abusers will find a way to abuse, even if it means drinking gallons of Listerine. There is a reason that stuff is on the ends of the aisles along with the potato chips. And it ISN'T bad breath.

Get help for yourself. She is beyond help from you.
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Your mom has addiction issues, you cant fix them. I'm so sorry, anyone going through addiction, effects the whole family.
Find away out of trying to help your mom, and get yourself mentally grounded, if not for you do it for your children
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Anxietynacy Mar 10, 2024
One more thing, when I said find a way to get out of helping your mom, because you can't help her, she will only stop if/when she wants to stop abusing drugs
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I’m really sorry that you are dealing with all of this.

I don’t think you understand how addiction works. You say that your mom has had a substance abuse problem all her life and that you want to help her stop abusing meds.

You have no power whatsoever to control your mother’s behavior. Not only that, your mom has serious concerns and needs someone who will oversee her care. Are you willing to be her advocate? That is the first step in helping your mom.

May I suggest that you attend a few NarAnon or ALAnon meetings to be around others who have dealt with similar issues. Or spend some time discussing addiction issues with a counselor who specializes in addiction.

Best wishes to you and your mom.
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According to your profile, your mother suffers from Alzheimer's/dementia and lives in her own home? She needs to be supervised at ALL TIMES, not live alone ( if she is doing so), and have her medications doled out to her. You can't reason with her.....her ability to use logic is no longer present. As a certified care aide, do you have experience with dementia patients?

If you are talking about Subutex, this is the brand name for buprenorphine. Buprenorphine is a partial opioid agonist that works by binding to opioid receptors in the brain, thus preventing withdrawal symptoms from occurring. It does not produce a high like other opioids when taken in higher doses, as it only partially activates those receptors. Subutex is not available in the USA as of 2011.

If your mom lives alone and refuses managed care or to be supervised in any way, you can call APS and report a demented elder with drug problems living alone. If she lives with you or you with her, can you apply for Medicaid and get her placed, if you are her POA?

My mother had neuropathy and that is why she could not walk. She finally went into a wheelchair fulltime for the last 3 years of her life, with dementia as well. Nothing really helps neuropathy because it's nerve pain which opioids do not touch.

I'm sorry you're going thru such a thing with your mother. I wish you good luck and Godspeed figuring out what to do.
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LilyLavalle Mar 11, 2024
I have a close friend who is on Subutex here in the US, but it is generic. Maybe just the brand name in no longer available?
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