My husband’s mother is 69 and has a catalog of autoimmune diseases and retired on disability in 2010. Since 2016 she has been living in our basement apartment after she was unable to continue paying rent. She receives $1100 per month in Social Security which she uses to pay for Medicare, medicine and food (she isn’t comfortable sharing her finances). She has no other income or assets, so we pay for everything else (car, phone, fancy recliner, dental bills, utility bills, etc.) and claim her as a dependent for tax purposes. We have two young children. Our son was born shortly before we moved to our new house in 2016, and in the new baby/working mom haze I didn’t have enough energy to look into other housing options for my husband’s mother, including public housing or living with other family members. Both are opposed to any form of public housing assistance due to the “stigma”, and she doesn’t want to ask either of her two sisters for help (they are not local). My husband has been reluctant to talk to her about all housing options, and our marriage has been affected by the constant money drain and my less than positive feelings towards my husband’s mother. She has not wanted (or been able) to help out at all, saying she is too sick to clean, cook or take care of the kids. I work a stressful, full time job and also manage the bulk of parenting, housekeeping and bills for everything, so I’m at my wits end about how to move my husband’s mother out. I would have left a while back but don’t think it’s fair to my husband or kids. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
I would tell my husband that she finds a nice senior apartment or he can take over because you are taking your children and leaving. Not fair to him? What about him not being fair to you and your children by putting his mommy 1st.
As JoAnn stated, if she is to sick to help around the house, she is to sick to drive. The car needs to go if she stays and some new rules and regulations need to be enforced. She is using you guys and that is shameful. What are your children learning from this?
Have you looked into Medicaid for her supplimental. They only look at her income. She would get prescriptions, health insurance, dental and vision. (Some states don't have dental and vision) You may want to see if she qualifies for SSI which is a supplimental income. With that and her SS it may give her enough money to get a place of her own.
In my area HUD has nice apartments. They ask for 30% of your monthly income. All Mom would pay would be electric and cable. She could get food stamps. You should have a County Social Service office who can help you.
"In general, the income limit for SSI is the federal benefit rate (FBR), which is $783 per month for an individual and $1,175 per month for a couple in 2020. Remember, though, that not all income is countable, and so you can earn more than $783 per month and still qualify for SSI"
SS may not count as income in this situation. MIL only brings in 13,000 a year. Does hurt to try. And if she qualifies, Medicaid is automatic.
Step two, contact local county dept of aging and see options. DH will have to take her to look at a few. Go on waitlist
She is 69, she could live 20 years.