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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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A crystal ball would be nice but no one knows when someone will pass. I've been waiting for the "bomb to drop" with my 95 year old mother for a long time. All it does is stress me out. I try not to think about it.
Deep, slow breathing can lessen stress when it overwhelms you. Relaxing your muscles and jaw at the same time, while listening to soothing music, can relieve the anxiety temporarily.
We have checked out funeral arrangements and feel "prepared" for the end. That makes it a bit less stressful also.
COPD is so difficult because it's so taxing on the sufferer. It's horrible not being able to breathe. Make sure his oxygen is on and the tube isn't kinked, have the person sitting up as straight as possible, some people like a gentle breeze of a fan blowing on them, plan for many rest periods during active times.
Misty, You just gave a clue as to why you want to know *when*.
"I am so scared that when I check on him he will have passed in the night." It sounds to me like you are afraid of seeing your father dead. Maybe this will be the first time you've witnessed death.
Are you frightened what your reaction will be? Do you think you won't be able to cope? Are you scared you can't let go?
Bodies stop. Depending on your beliefs, the soul continues on. Death is a part of life.
There is not much you can do to prepare for his passing. There might be a few books on the subject. Elizabeth Kubbler-Ross wrote "On Death and Dying". It may be helpful. Try to examine what you're scared of.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It wasn't easy when my dad passed but I was comforted by the fact that he wasn't suffering anymore.
Return here for support. Many of us have gone through what you're experiencing.
Misty, this question has been asked so many times by caregivers, even me. You're not alone. It's so hard not to know. We can't plan. We just ... keep going. It's hard and draining for the caregiver and the person needing our care. Like the two others above, have you called hospice? They can help in great ways. Hang in there.
We have not called hospice yet. My two sisters who help me. They are both nurses. He is not in pain. Just weak and very winded sometimes. One of us is here all the time. Even at night. When i am here and get up in morning i am so scared that when i check on him he will have passed during the night
Being Mortal, book by Dr. Atul Gwande, will help you learn about the dying process so you will be more informed about what is happening to him. You will also learn about what interventions are possible and if YOU want to have those interventions done to you. With your sisters nurses, they already have some knowledge of this - you need it too.
Misty, only God knows when each one of our lives will end. Enjoy each day you have with him, loving him the best you can. May God bless you in this season of life.
"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."1 Peter 5:6-7
Thank you so much. I have experienced it before. Lost my mom a few years ago. I think i can let go. Just pray that it is peaceful. I will look into the books. Thank you so much
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Deep, slow breathing can lessen stress when it overwhelms you. Relaxing your muscles and jaw at the same time, while listening to soothing music, can relieve the anxiety temporarily.
We have checked out funeral arrangements and feel "prepared" for the end. That makes it a bit less stressful also.
COPD is so difficult because it's so taxing on the sufferer. It's horrible not being able to breathe. Make sure his oxygen is on and the tube isn't kinked, have the person sitting up as straight as possible, some people like a gentle breeze of a fan blowing on them, plan for many rest periods during active times.
Take each day at a time. Treat it as a gift.
Hospice is a good resource.
You just gave a clue as to why you want to know *when*.
"I am so scared that when I check on him he will have passed in the night."
It sounds to me like you are afraid of seeing your father dead. Maybe this will be the first time you've witnessed death.
Are you frightened what your reaction will be?
Do you think you won't be able to cope? Are you scared you can't let go?
Bodies stop. Depending on your beliefs, the soul continues on. Death is a part of life.
There is not much you can do to prepare for his passing. There might be a few books on the subject. Elizabeth Kubbler-Ross wrote "On Death and Dying". It may be helpful. Try to examine what you're scared of.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It wasn't easy when my dad passed but I was comforted by the fact that he wasn't suffering anymore.
Return here for support. Many of us have gone through what you're experiencing.
If not, perhaps it’s time to call them in. Have you considered this?
"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."1 Peter 5:6-7
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