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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I’m guessing that you cook beautiful meals that appeal to others, but your father has dementia. Food may taste different to him than it tastes to other people.
Does he eat sandwiches or soup? You can get lots of protein and fiber into them. Will he eat fruit? Muffins, or cookies? You can add raisins, puréed sweet potato, nut butter to muffin or cookie mix.
Milk shakes and smoothies?
Small portions several times a day?
Don’t take his lack of interest in his food as a personal insult.
This is certainly a challenge. Are you fixing him what he likes or things that you think he should eat because they're healthy, etc.? What DOES he eat? At his age and condition, I guess I would likely kind of give up and give him whatever he wants even if it's kind of crappy. Have you tried smoothies? You can sneak some healthy stuff in that and they'll never know. Or other liquid meal replacements?
It's a common problem to hear that the older folks with dementia aren't so big on eating. As they get worse, they often eat less, etc.
I would say to offer food and drinks regularly and if he won't eat them, then so be it.
Saw your profile that he can't walk or stand due to a broken hip. That's pretty horrible. So sorry. That has to add just a whole 'nother dimension to care giving that would just make a difficult job nearly impossible.
I’ve pretty much tried everything I can think of. It’s a mistake to ask what he wants to eat, because he doesn’t know. He no longer likes sandwiches, ham salad, soup, turkey, chicken, roast, meat loaf…..all foods he used to love.
He does still like sweets and he eats a lot of them because there’s not much else he can do…
On the days when he eats very little, he does drink a protein shake. He’ll often ask what there is to eat and it stresses me out Big Time because nothing I offer sounds good to him.
He no longer likes sandwiches or soup. He does like milk shakes…
I’m trying not to take it personally, but it’s so stressful when he asks what there is to eat, and nothing I name sounds good to him. If imask what he wants, he doesn’t know.
Remembering, my mom ate a sandwich of enriched white bread and strawberry jelly SOAKED IN STRAWBERRY YOGHURT, every single day for about a year before she passed away, and thrived on that, and the dietary department thought it was perfectly FINE.
Aim for SWEET, no matter HOW it may repulse you (it did me but I got used to it!). A small amount of chia seed in a nourishing fluid with a little vanilla and some healthy sweetener makes a really lovely pudding.
Instead of asking him what he wants, offer him a choice of 3 sweet choices. He may find it easier to choose from a selection of favorites that he sees, than trying to come up from his own imagination.
Also, if he has a small group of favorites that you know, rote them and repeat them. The lack of variety won’t bother him because he will forget from day to day what he’d had the day before.
Lucky dad to have a concerned and attentive daughter.
I had that problem for awhile with my mom. She is on pureed foods and I had about 4 meals that tasted good to her but she got sick of them and was not eating much so I hired a personal Chef for Seniors. She always had a great appetite but since being on pureed foods it had decreased but now with the new chef she loves the food and eats most of the meal. Does he have chewing or swallowing problem? Is he depressed? He is 90 years old and taste buds change, elders don't eat as much as they used to. Is he drinking enough fluids? Lots of questions but need more information. The chef told me he likes to sweeten the elders food because the food taste better and sweet to them. I also make protein shakes, and add fruit. Puddings, oatmeal with added protein powder and banana. I also plan the menu with the chef and stick to meals my mom liked prior to pureed foods with a few changes. We as a family do not eat the same foods now. I still need to prepare breakfast, lunch and chef does dinners. I would suggest a dietary/nutritional consult ordered by his primary and go from there. They were very helpful to me when my moms diet changed. Good Luck.
If your father doesn't have any dietary restrictions, then you deal with it the same way parents deal with a fussy kid who won't eat and doesn't 'like' what there is for the meal.
'This isn't a restaurant. If you don't want to eat what there is go hungry'.
I'm so sure growing up there weren't separate meals prepared for each member of the family in your house. Mine either.
In this type of situation a person with dementia is very similar to a little kid. You don't ask them what they want for breakfast, lunch, or supper. You tell them "breakfast/lunch/supper is ready" and put it in front of them. Promise a treat like ice cream or candy if he eats his food.
Children have a palate for sweet foods and usually develop more savory tastes with age. Perhaps your father's dementia is harkening him back to such preferences?
In a similar vain, do you know what foods he grew up on? Being a child of the Depression, food choices were often limited to availability and were fairly crude compared with today's gourmet.
Liver, kidneys, sheep brains, ox tongue, were all standard fare and, as unpalatable as they sound, memories can live long for these 'comfort' foods from a more familiar era.
Hey Burnt, The chef for seniors is really not that expensive. The chef shops and cooks and I pay about $150 for the cooking service every two weeks plus the groceries of about $59 - $75. I am actually saving more money because I am not shopping for things I really don't need. I get about 24 meals and he cooks every two weeks. It is healthy and all fresh foods. He also makes regular fresh food for people who are on regular diets. and he is very accommodating to the needs of seniors. He custom makes the food according to dietary needs. I was also giving advice with what I learned from the chef about sweeten up the foods. Preparing pureed foods is not as easy as one thinks and I have been doing it for about a year now. so I just love the service it frees me up a bit and my mom loves the food. A consult is free of charge and no obligation, Money back guarantee if not completely satisfied.
eating issues are such a learning process....i.e I discovered last night that Chinese food served with rice...will mean rice in the bed....or the chicken pot pie with a cream sauce in the 1" high sided plate, when held by mom could still easily tip with her unaware so that cream sauce could wind up in the bed or on her....finger foods seem to be preferred; she loves her mini thermal cup with straw, to the point that if given a fork is ready to suck on the fork handle....She, like many, has a desire for sweeter...including sloppy joes....I'd try asking what he wants? And go from there, though as someone said it's not a restaurant...yet a bigger issue would be not eating or drinking...no easy answers.....
Maybe feed him smaller portions but more often. At 91 let him eat what he wants even if it junk food. As the taste buds go food doesn't taste the same but they can still taste sweet.
Offer him two choices - do you want this or do you want that. Will he eat fruit? Will he drink protein drinks? The most important thing to do is to keep him hydrated.
My father at 91 ate less and less as his body shut down. If your dad only eats a couple of bites store the rest away for another meal.
Let him eat whatever he wants. Dementia changes the flavor of things. It also makes some one want sweet items. While this strays from a human. But, I had a dog dying of cancer and the vet told me to let him eat whatever he wanted as it is better they enjoy what time they have left. My dog lived 2.5 years with the incurable cancer. Humans are similar in some ways let them be happy and reduce your stress by seeing your loved one happy. Good luck
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I’m guessing that you cook beautiful meals that appeal to others, but your father has dementia. Food may taste different to him than it tastes to other people.
Does he eat sandwiches or soup? You can get lots of protein and fiber into them. Will he eat fruit? Muffins, or cookies? You can add raisins, puréed sweet potato, nut butter to muffin or cookie mix.
Milk shakes and smoothies?
Small portions several times a day?
Don’t take his lack of interest in his food as a personal insult.
It's a common problem to hear that the older folks with dementia aren't so big on eating. As they get worse, they often eat less, etc.
I would say to offer food and drinks regularly and if he won't eat them, then so be it.
Saw your profile that he can't walk or stand due to a broken hip. That's pretty horrible. So sorry. That has to add just a whole 'nother dimension to care giving that would just make a difficult job nearly impossible.
He does still like sweets and he eats a lot of them because there’s not much else he can do…
On the days when he eats very little, he does drink a protein shake. He’ll often ask what there is to eat and it stresses me out Big Time because nothing I offer sounds good to him.
I’m trying not to take it personally, but it’s so stressful when he asks what there is to eat, and nothing I name sounds good to him. If imask what he wants, he doesn’t know.
Aim for SWEET, no matter HOW it may repulse you (it did me but I got used to it!). A small amount of chia seed in a nourishing fluid with a little vanilla and some healthy sweetener makes a really lovely pudding.
Instead of asking him what he wants, offer him a choice of 3 sweet choices. He may find it easier to choose from a selection of favorites that he sees, than trying to come up from his own imagination.
Also, if he has a small group of favorites that you know, rote them and repeat them. The lack of variety won’t bother him because he will forget from day to day what he’d had the day before.
Lucky dad to have a concerned and attentive daughter.
'This isn't a restaurant. If you don't want to eat what there is go hungry'.
I'm so sure growing up there weren't separate meals prepared for each member of the family in your house. Mine either.
In this type of situation a person with dementia is very similar to a little kid. You don't ask them what they want for breakfast, lunch, or supper. You tell them "breakfast/lunch/supper is ready" and put it in front of them. Promise a treat like ice cream or candy if he eats his food.
In a similar vain, do you know what foods he grew up on?
Being a child of the Depression, food choices were often limited to availability and were fairly crude compared with today's gourmet.
Liver, kidneys, sheep brains, ox tongue, were all standard fare and, as unpalatable as they sound, memories can live long for these 'comfort' foods from a more familiar era.
The chef for seniors is really not that expensive. The chef shops and cooks and I pay about $150 for the cooking service every two weeks plus the groceries of about $59 - $75. I am actually saving more money because I am not shopping for things I really don't need. I get about 24 meals and he cooks every two weeks. It is healthy and all fresh foods. He also makes regular fresh food for people who are on regular diets. and he is very accommodating to the needs of seniors. He custom makes the food according to dietary needs. I was also giving advice with what I learned from the chef about sweeten up the foods. Preparing pureed foods is not as easy as one thinks and I have been doing it for about a year now. so I just love the service it frees me up a bit and my mom loves the food. A consult is free of charge and no obligation, Money back guarantee if not completely satisfied.
HE isn’t being ornery or difficult. It’s his BRAIN giving him the difficulty.
Why not just focus on giving him the most nutritional sweet things you can manage?
Best wishes to you both.
Offer him two choices - do you want this or do you want that. Will he eat fruit? Will he drink protein drinks? The most important thing to do is to keep him hydrated.
My father at 91 ate less and less as his body shut down. If your dad only eats a couple of bites store the rest away for another meal.
Good luck.
Good luck