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Counsel? You already know in your heart whether 92 year old F is on top of this or not. If NOT, it’s not a case of counseling. You withdraw your help in propping up his (undoubtedly fake) ‘independence’ if he won’t do the sensible thing. Sooner or later, you will have to force it. Preferably sooner, before something goes badly wrong.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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There is no one worse to counsel an elder who is entering confusion that his kids. He will never trust you to know enough to do this.
It's time for POA discussion, and time for possibly a Fiduciary to manage Dad's affairs.
You honestly will have to provide us a bit more information for us to give you any really meaningful answer, but I sure wish you best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I am thinking by 92 most people should not worry about financial health except paying basic bills. Certainly no investing.
And real estate and other assets should be in situ.
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Reply to Evamar
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DoveLuv22, welcome to the forum. Could you give us more information, such as what real estate matters does your Dad need counseling on? Does he have rental properties? Is he not maintaining the house he is living in? Does he want to downsize?


As for financial matters, is he overspending or gifting too much money? Does he have problems using his credit card? Is he not paying his bills on time? Who is your Dad's financial Power of Attorney? Does he have a legal document regarding Power of Attorney, and other much needed legal documents?


By giving us more information, that would help us guide you with these matters.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Advise Dad to seek financial advice. A trained person for the job eg Accountant, finacial advisor, nominate a POA.

I do not understand how cars work. I go to a mechanic. While I can cut my hair, I may make a mess of it.. if I want a good job, I go to a hairdresser.
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Reply to Beatty
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Your dad needs assistance. Devise a plan for his future. Not sure how wealthy he is, are you the POA or guardian? Your or someone trusting needs to step in and take control over your dad's finances and needs.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Take dad to see an elder care lawyer. I did this with my dad and it was a tremendous help, not as expensive as feared and worth every cent. The lawyer spoke with us together about all the issues, then spoke with dad alone to insure he wasn’t being coerced by me or anyone else. We got excellent guidance and all needed documents in place
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I agree with the appt with an elder care lawyer. The sooner the better that he find legal help that he can build a trusting relationship with who can take over as needed. It takes it off the backs of family (not that you should not be aware of what he is doing) and allows dad to have dignity of using a person he chose.
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Reply to RetiredBrain
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Quickly seek the counsel of an Elder Law Attorney, who can advise on all facets of "management", including Real Estate, POA for person and finance, etc. You must act post haste, as a 92 year old Smart Cookie might be deemed cognitively impaired, in a very short time. Alva has a very good response today. You are in very quick need of a Senior or Elder Law attorney. Act now, before this window of opportunity disappears.
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Reply to fluffy1966
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Igloocar Oct 6, 2024
You are absolutely correct! What DoveLuv22 might not understand fully is that once her father has been deemed to be cognitively impaired, he will no longer be able to assign POA. Thus, the urgent need to get him to assign health care and financial POAs before that happens,
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Please see an elder care attorney now.
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Reply to Patathome01
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You don't.
You get him tested for dementia with medical provider.
(Although even with dementia, some documents can be signed by him and are legal. Research this as needed). I just found out about this grey area.

You get all legal documentation in order so you can manage.
As others have said, you see an attorney ASAP.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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DoveLuv22: Retain an attorney.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Your question leads me to suggest that he can't understand these matters - and probably not others as well.

Do you have powers of attorney or health care advocacy to cover you making these decisions? If so, it is probably time to use these documents. Make sure to have dad evaluated by his doctor for mental competency and document his lack of competency.

If you do not have legal documents to make decisions for your dad, does your state/county/province give you legal rights to make decisions for him? Most states in the USA have laws that outline who is allowed to make decisions when somebody is unable to make decisions for themselves. Usually, it goes this way:
1st parents over children
2nd spouses
3rd adult children over parent - some states require all the children to agree together on every decision; other states require a majority of children to agree on every decision
4th grandchildren or other family members
lastly, court appointed legal guardian.
This is why have legal documents become important; one person versus many people having to be consulted on every matter.
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Reply to Taarna
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