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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Counsel? You already know in your heart whether 92 year old F is on top of this or not. If NOT, it’s not a case of counseling. You withdraw your help in propping up his (undoubtedly fake) ‘independence’ if he won’t do the sensible thing. Sooner or later, you will have to force it. Preferably sooner, before something goes badly wrong.
There is no one worse to counsel an elder who is entering confusion that his kids. He will never trust you to know enough to do this. It's time for POA discussion, and time for possibly a Fiduciary to manage Dad's affairs. You honestly will have to provide us a bit more information for us to give you any really meaningful answer, but I sure wish you best of luck.
I am thinking by 92 most people should not worry about financial health except paying basic bills. Certainly no investing. And real estate and other assets should be in situ.
DoveLuv22, welcome to the forum. Could you give us more information, such as what real estate matters does your Dad need counseling on? Does he have rental properties? Is he not maintaining the house he is living in? Does he want to downsize?
As for financial matters, is he overspending or gifting too much money? Does he have problems using his credit card? Is he not paying his bills on time? Who is your Dad's financial Power of Attorney? Does he have a legal document regarding Power of Attorney, and other much needed legal documents?
By giving us more information, that would help us guide you with these matters.
Your dad needs assistance. Devise a plan for his future. Not sure how wealthy he is, are you the POA or guardian? Your or someone trusting needs to step in and take control over your dad's finances and needs.
Take dad to see an elder care lawyer. I did this with my dad and it was a tremendous help, not as expensive as feared and worth every cent. The lawyer spoke with us together about all the issues, then spoke with dad alone to insure he wasn’t being coerced by me or anyone else. We got excellent guidance and all needed documents in place
I agree with the appt with an elder care lawyer. The sooner the better that he find legal help that he can build a trusting relationship with who can take over as needed. It takes it off the backs of family (not that you should not be aware of what he is doing) and allows dad to have dignity of using a person he chose.
Quickly seek the counsel of an Elder Law Attorney, who can advise on all facets of "management", including Real Estate, POA for person and finance, etc. You must act post haste, as a 92 year old Smart Cookie might be deemed cognitively impaired, in a very short time. Alva has a very good response today. You are in very quick need of a Senior or Elder Law attorney. Act now, before this window of opportunity disappears.
You are absolutely correct! What DoveLuv22 might not understand fully is that once her father has been deemed to be cognitively impaired, he will no longer be able to assign POA. Thus, the urgent need to get him to assign health care and financial POAs before that happens,
You don't. You get him tested for dementia with medical provider. (Although even with dementia, some documents can be signed by him and are legal. Research this as needed). I just found out about this grey area.
You get all legal documentation in order so you can manage. As others have said, you see an attorney ASAP.
Your question leads me to suggest that he can't understand these matters - and probably not others as well.
Do you have powers of attorney or health care advocacy to cover you making these decisions? If so, it is probably time to use these documents. Make sure to have dad evaluated by his doctor for mental competency and document his lack of competency.
If you do not have legal documents to make decisions for your dad, does your state/county/province give you legal rights to make decisions for him? Most states in the USA have laws that outline who is allowed to make decisions when somebody is unable to make decisions for themselves. Usually, it goes this way: 1st parents over children 2nd spouses 3rd adult children over parent - some states require all the children to agree together on every decision; other states require a majority of children to agree on every decision 4th grandchildren or other family members lastly, court appointed legal guardian. This is why have legal documents become important; one person versus many people having to be consulted on every matter.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's time for POA discussion, and time for possibly a Fiduciary to manage Dad's affairs.
You honestly will have to provide us a bit more information for us to give you any really meaningful answer, but I sure wish you best of luck.
And real estate and other assets should be in situ.
As for financial matters, is he overspending or gifting too much money? Does he have problems using his credit card? Is he not paying his bills on time? Who is your Dad's financial Power of Attorney? Does he have a legal document regarding Power of Attorney, and other much needed legal documents?
By giving us more information, that would help us guide you with these matters.
I do not understand how cars work. I go to a mechanic. While I can cut my hair, I may make a mess of it.. if I want a good job, I go to a hairdresser.
You get him tested for dementia with medical provider.
(Although even with dementia, some documents can be signed by him and are legal. Research this as needed). I just found out about this grey area.
You get all legal documentation in order so you can manage.
As others have said, you see an attorney ASAP.
Gena / Touch Matters
Do you have powers of attorney or health care advocacy to cover you making these decisions? If so, it is probably time to use these documents. Make sure to have dad evaluated by his doctor for mental competency and document his lack of competency.
If you do not have legal documents to make decisions for your dad, does your state/county/province give you legal rights to make decisions for him? Most states in the USA have laws that outline who is allowed to make decisions when somebody is unable to make decisions for themselves. Usually, it goes this way:
1st parents over children
2nd spouses
3rd adult children over parent - some states require all the children to agree together on every decision; other states require a majority of children to agree on every decision
4th grandchildren or other family members
lastly, court appointed legal guardian.
This is why have legal documents become important; one person versus many people having to be consulted on every matter.