Hello! My Father has been diagnosed with kidney failure, heart failure, and renal sarcoidosis, which causes extreme calcium levels (delusion, confusion, weakness and more), his heart is working at 30% and kidney levels are around 4.5 typically. He got discharged from the hospital and they ordered in home physical therapy because they believe he's not weak enough to be in rehab so I'm doing 7 day, 24 hour supervision with him. He doesn't understand how to take his medications and when I quiz him on how much meds he's suppose to take, he never knows, so I don't want him doing his medication on his own. He has random good days and bad days but overall he's able to go about his daily tasks (bathroom, changing, eating, very mild cooking). In 4 months he's been in the hospital 2x, very unwell and was admitted for 2.5 weeks both times, so I worry that we will move him into independent living and something will happen again in the next few months after we sign a lease on an independent living community, then will have to end it just to get assisted living anyways.
I know he's capable of living on his own most days and its about 3-4x cheaper than independent living, It's just his medication and weak days that I'm worried about. Is it worth it to move into Assisted living when its not deemed as "needed"? He also wants to move an hour away from me because he likes the area, which isn't smart if he moves into Independent Living.
He's not going to get 'better'. The best you can hope for with myriad health issues is that he is living in a place that cares for him appropriately.
IF you move him to IL, likely he will not be there long. A fall, simply decline in overall health, and he'll have moved into the need for AL. He really isn't 'independent' at all. If you have concerns about him keeping his meds straight and he's been in the hospital twice in the last 4 months, for fairly long stays--IMHO, he's about ready for AL. If he has 3/7 days where he's fairly 'ok'--that's not indicative of him being able to live w/o 24/7 care on site.
Yes, it costs more. But if you move him to AL and stick with it, you won't have to move him again. There are upfront costs associated with AL and IL, both. You might lose the 'down payment' of the IL if you need to move him within, say 6 months. I don't know.
Doctors are just looking at the immediate 'fix'. They see a pt for 20 minutes and make a recommendation--but it's just that--their opinion. YOU are much closer to the situation and have a clearer head about this.
If he is living an hour away from you, that makes your involvement in his care almost a moot point. 2 hrs driving --how many days a week? You'll burn out quickly.
This is not an easy decision, but I wish you the wisdom of knowing what to do for your dad--what is 'best' may not be what he 'wants'.
It didn't matter whether she called us company or caregivers (which is what we really were), she wasn't living independently, and that's your dad. With you supervising him 24/7, he's most certainly not independent.
As another poster mentioned, he's not going to get better, so set him up in AL so he won't have to move multiple times as he declines.
My mom's place had both Independent Living and Assisted living apartments. Independent had a full kitchen and balconies., a little bigger. Assisted had kitchenette,, no stove just microwave, both studio and 1 bedrooms. All dining and activity are mixed. Check the pricing. You could add services like med management, to Independent Living, but lowest level Assisted Living is close in price to Independent Living with all the add ins, and if you end up needing an aide to stay in Independent Living that's costly also.
Most places require an assessment before move in, your Dad might not qualify for IL at this point anyway.
Your dad's doctor is not the determiner of what is best. With all the health issues your dad has moving him to AL truly is the best option. Look for one that has a good atmosphere, lots of activities. Interview the director of AL and have lunch there to check out how the meals are.
Your father is ready NOW for Assisted Living. If you don't think so, try letting him live alone and then getting calls 24/7 about what he needs, what medications he should be taking, how he needs to go the ER, and about 99,000 other issues that will crop up.
It's only common sense that your dad needs help available to him 24/7, even if he's not using it 24/7. The one thing neither of you wants is to have him NEED help and not have it available.
Good luck!
Your dad needs assisted living. Seniors who need support shouldn’t be in an independent living community unless a caregiver is employed to be there with them.
Hope this helps.
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