My parents live together but Dad needs help caring for Mom. Dad has back issues so he can't lift Mom and is feeling overwhelmed (but wont admit it). Mom has Trijeminal Neurology and Parkinsons and is not eating much. We hired aides for 12 hour shifts ...was hoping we could do split shifts 5 hrs in morning and 5 at night, but agency said its hard to get aides that way. The aides seem to be on their phones until prompted to help. I know they will have down time, but I hoped they'd be more self motivating to find ways they can help. Is it customary to ask the agency for different aides until you find one that fits with your expectations? Also, are we supposed to feed the aides or should they bring their own food for meals?
If your answer is "what care plan?" then that agency wants taking out and giving a good slap.
Although some people are very self motivated I think the vast majority are less so, having a detailed list of duties that must be ticked off every shift can go a long way to ensuring that your expectations are met.
Dad is not used to asking for anything and his world has changed a lot. And although he wont admit it..I feel hes overwhelmed. Hes been so used to Mom doing and planning Things and shes at a point where she needs assistance with everything..she doesn't remember things and has a hard time verbalizing how she feels Or what she wants/needs. I hope I can get him to provide more guidance and give a list each day...and if not then I Im thinking should take the reins and provide one.
i am a big believer in making a fairly detailed daily plan. From arrival to departure, what you expect. Such as...strip the bed and get it washed/dried and back on the bed by 11 am. Clean the bathroom after morning use. Make breakfast, and observe Mom taking her pills. Play a game of mOms choice. And so on. Have a book that the caregiver writes in each day...what happened, what didn't happen, etc.
Bear in mind that everything you schedule for the aides you are also scheduling for your mother and father. On a lazy day your parents may decline to co-operate, the aide is left with nothing to do, and the aide gets bored as well as frustrated.
How we start out is by going through our clients' usual routine. What time do you normally like to get up? Do you wash and dress first, or have breakfast in your dressing gown? How about meds, would you like our support with those? What sort of thing do you like to do in the mornings?
And so on and so on.
Once you have your outline schedule, then you look at:
what the person prefers and is able to do for himself
what the person needs some support with
what the person needs done for him
any risks or concerns about, e.g. moving and handling, medications management, household hazards (broken steps, dodgy locks, blocked drains, arthritic dogs whose fur is a perfect match for the living carpet)
The result varies enormously, of course. I have scratched my head over "no goals to be achieved at this time," and at the other extreme felt my eyebrows shoot up as I look at a couple of dozen tasks and think "this is going to be a busy old half hour!"
That 12-hour shift is troubling me. Do the aides have to travel far to get to you, or something? If they're on the premises for 12 hours at a stretch, they must have proper breaks, somewhere to take them, and at least a microwave, kettle and fridge, rudimentary equipment, and hot drinks/fresh water.
One other quick point - how they handle your father. It may be more difficult to offer help than you realise. Last Thursday I folded a bath towel, unthinkingly, and my client snapped: "I WISH you wouldn't do that!" People tinkering with her things gets on her nerves, and - I'm not being ironic -I shouldn't have folded her towel. I apologised, blamed force of habit, and attempted to drape it back as she'd left it. I can only hope she didn't think I was mocking her as I did so.
So, anyway, until your father is satisfied that these people are more of a help than a hindrance (or God forbid a danger to your mother), he is likely to be tense when he sees them using their initiative, and fuming about their pointlessness when he doesn't. Solution: the aides should *ask* him, and he should *show* them, what he'd like done and how.
Both agencies did not allow aids to eat our food, they bring their own. Both agencies asked us to work with us on care plan, that included things that could be done while mom asleep (empty commode, clean it).