My husband is showing less dementia than when he went into the nursing home. I'm afraid they’re going to send him home, but I’m 73 and can’t care for his Parkinson’s, which has also gotten better since he’s been getting 24-hr care. He wants to hire a lawyer and sue them because "he’s being held against his will." I’m a wreck. He’s convinced he’s cured of Parkinson’s. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance for any advice.
They can not discharge him because it would be unsafe.
Showing an "improvement" when getting 24/7 care would not be uncommon. He is getting the care he needs by more than 1 person, he is on a schedule, he is getting meals, he is getting stimulation form other residents and activities.
A lawyer will not take a case from him if he has dementia.
Any doctor will confirm that he is not "cured of his Parkinson's".
Ask his doctor to prepare a document that describes your husband's diagnosis, prognosis and usual course his disease(s) will take - even with the best treatment and medications. Unfortunately, Parkinson's disease is incurable. Medications and therapy will slow the progress and lengthen his "good days" but that is all.
There is much talk recently in the nutrition community about something they call “high-calorie malnutrition “, a term originally defined, I believe, by Dr. Derrick Lonsdale, whose lifelong area of study was thiamine deficiency.
My parents would NOT eat balanced meals, and ate a LOT of sugar and refined carbs. I am currently trying to balance this with my mother by using our city’s wonderful Meals on Wheels program—and trying to make her eat the food. It is nutritionally planned and balanced, and is worlds better than what she was eating before.
Mt MIL is in an independent living center; my inlaws moved there some years ago (FIL now deceased). Their physical abilities and my FIL’s PD got markedly better when they moved there. They said it was because they were “happy to be near their son and grandchildren”. While no doubt happiness was a factor—something also well studied in science—the good good and lower stress overall was, IMO, what made the difference. MANY people who moved in there improved markedly, again I think nutrition, lower stress and probably good routine as well.
I feel, in absence of total understanding of PD, all those suggestions although wise are nothing new.
We eat healthy and nutritious foods, almost never anything refined, processed etc, lots of organic.
Yet, my husband’s Parkinson’s is progressing and meds although helpful create other problems.
The fact remains it is cruel, horrible disease and cure is unlikely any time soon.
Thank you for answering my question. Although my husband‘s Parkinson seems better sometimes but there is no significant improvement.
He too, had PT for over a year, 3 different therapists, little improvement.
Medications adjustment changes work but side effects are worse. I accepted it will get worse, he does not have dementia so no drama or arguments.
Hope all works out well for your sake, you don‘t deserve additional stress.
Sometimes they are benign - a patient who saw a group of children playing in the corner of the room - she enjoyed watching them, and they never came closer to her.
Sometimes terrifying - that they are being imprisoned, tortured, poisoned, etc.
Generally patients do not talk about these changes in their brain. Pretty normal response - who wants to be thought of as "crazy"?
PD is a tricky disease, and very different patterns of progression, as with al degenerative diseases.
as long as your husband is mentally competent (it does sound like he is), then he can leave NH if he wants to. only a court can decide he’s mentally incompetent. it’s not enough for a doctor to say “dementia” - otherwise this would give too much power to a doctor to lock up anyone they wish.
he might be obliged to set up in-home care, but he’s allowed to leave NH. he doesn’t have to return to your home - but if your home is also his home, he has a right to go home.
I am not judging, just curious as my husband is suffering from it and wondering if there is possibility of any improvement?
They will not send your husband home. Parkinson's alone is a reason to need skilled nursing. All you need to say to SW if the subject comes up is it would be an unsafe discharge because you cannot care for him 24/7. Nor can you afford to have aides 24/7.
I spoke to an elder care attorney and he told me the same thing, about unsafe discharge and that they wouldn’t send him home.
I appreciate the suggestions. Thank you.
I guess ultimately you need to understand that a division of assets is in order for you; see an elder law attorney about that, if it isn't already a done thing. Then, should husband come home make it clear to discharge planners that the VERY DAY he comes in you will be LEAVING and filing for divorce. Then do that if it comes down to it. He will not be safe enough to be released on his own; or RATHER , if he IS safe enough, then let him come home alone, get yourself a nice little studio apartment, and put your feet up.
You need to law down the law to him on this the next time you visit.
Very sorry, about ALL of this, but enough is ENOUGH.
My husband with Parkinson but no dementia at all, but, we both know, acknowledge, accepted there is no cure, nobody was ever cured, never!
So, even if he hires a lawyer, any medical dr would say otherwise.