Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Something to realize is that eyes are not like camera lenses. In fact, they are remarkably poor from how little information they receive as light enters the retina. But we do have remarkable brains which associate these small scraps of information against retained memory and a healthy dose of assumption (not infallible by any means - consider 'eye witness' accounts, for instance). Without this cognition, the mind relies even more on stored information by default, often invalidating visual stimulus in favor of current thoughts/delusion. We can also do this ourselves when engrossed in an activity but quickly return to reality after some hasty sensory processing. When your husband asks "Where's Mary?", he probably can't see you in his mind (not recalling that you may have had lunch together or been for a walk means he will be disoriented on where you last were - there will be a void). Simply reassuring him that you are right here, and maybe updating what you were doing most recently together, can prompt some recollection to put you back in context (I find that memory hasn't 'vanished' and a few reminders can trigger enough awareness to be reassuring). The more difficult issue might be reconciling your feeling invisible - I know how confronting this is and it still catches me off guard at times. Perhaps accepting that in many ways your husband is suffering 'blindness' (although with presumably healthy vision) and approaching things on this basis might help minimize your distress.
There is no reasoning when someone has dementia. Sometimes it's just best to go along with what they're saying instead of trying to argue with them.(as you'll never win) So next time he asks where Mary is, you can tell him she ran to the store but will be back shortly. These are what folks in the dementia/Alzheimer's world call "fiblets." They certainly come in handy at times. Best wishes.
This might not even be related to PD. There were several times when I had my Husband out shopping and he would follow someone thinking it was me. I used to joke that when he followed a woman with long dark hair he was thinking it was me in my 20's, when he followed a heavier set woman with shorter hair that was me in my 40's and if he ever started following a gray haired man that was me in my 60's. He would also stand in the aisle of the store and I would ask he what he was looking for and he would say..."I am looking for my wife"..I would say, "well I will walk with you until we find her" I would then leave the cart and we would walk out to the car. As soon as he saw the car he was fine, would get in and that was it. (By the way I would never leave refrigerated or frozen stuff in the cart)
So if he says..."where is Mary" ask about Mary. Engage him in conversation about Mary. What does she look like? What does she like? If you are out in a store you can try the same thing I did. Often back in the car that he is familiar with it will reassure him, and when you are sitting next to him then things might feel more "normal" to him. But I would not "stress" or "aggravate" him by insisting you are Mary.
lastly if this is new I would make sure his doctor is aware and if there is an increase in confusion or delusions/hallucinations make sure the doctor is also aware of the increase.
You can't reason with him. He has lost that ability. Grandma and Kantankorus said it very well.
I remember just before my Dad died. My daughter, an RN, was helping him get ready for bed. (She was his first grandchild and because I worked, he and Mom watched her for me. So they were close.) He was giving her a little trouble. She said "PopPop its R" he said "no ur not R is a little girl".
I am with Grandma, ur husband is remembering you as a younger version. You are going to have to just play along. His brain is dying little by little. He can't help how is mind is working.
Some of the medications that improve PD hallucinations actually make the gait worse and some things that improve the gait make the hallucinations worse. I wish I had the answer to Parkinson's, but I don't, nor does anyone else. I am sorry you are both going through this.
We are going thru this right now. I am the upstairs girl ( we live in a one story house), the maid, an old girlfriend from 65 years ago, and/or the bed mate. I keep telling him that there is only the 2 of us and the dog in the house. He agrees and then 5 mins later, he will ask if I know where the upstairs girl went. I keep trying to remind him who I am, as a gauge of when he will need to go to MC.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But we do have remarkable brains which associate these small scraps of information against retained memory and a healthy dose of assumption (not infallible by any means - consider 'eye witness' accounts, for instance).
Without this cognition, the mind relies even more on stored information by default, often invalidating visual stimulus in favor of current thoughts/delusion. We can also do this ourselves when engrossed in an activity but quickly return to reality after some hasty sensory processing.
When your husband asks "Where's Mary?", he probably can't see you in his mind (not recalling that you may have had lunch together or been for a walk means he will be disoriented on where you last were - there will be a void).
Simply reassuring him that you are right here, and maybe updating what you were doing most recently together, can prompt some recollection to put you back in context (I find that memory hasn't 'vanished' and a few reminders can trigger enough awareness to be reassuring).
The more difficult issue might be reconciling your feeling invisible - I know how confronting this is and it still catches me off guard at times. Perhaps accepting that in many ways your husband is suffering 'blindness' (although with presumably healthy vision) and approaching things on this basis might help minimize your distress.
There were several times when I had my Husband out shopping and he would follow someone thinking it was me. I used to joke that when he followed a woman with long dark hair he was thinking it was me in my 20's, when he followed a heavier set woman with shorter hair that was me in my 40's and if he ever started following a gray haired man that was me in my 60's.
He would also stand in the aisle of the store and I would ask he what he was looking for and he would say..."I am looking for my wife"..I would say, "well I will walk with you until we find her" I would then leave the cart and we would walk out to the car. As soon as he saw the car he was fine, would get in and that was it. (By the way I would never leave refrigerated or frozen stuff in the cart)
So if he says..."where is Mary" ask about Mary. Engage him in conversation about Mary. What does she look like? What does she like? If you are out in a store you can try the same thing I did. Often back in the car that he is familiar with it will reassure him, and when you are sitting next to him then things might feel more "normal" to him.
But I would not "stress" or "aggravate" him by insisting you are Mary.
lastly if this is new I would make sure his doctor is aware and if there is an increase in confusion or delusions/hallucinations make sure the doctor is also aware of the increase.
I remember just before my Dad died. My daughter, an RN, was helping him get ready for bed. (She was his first grandchild and because I worked, he and Mom watched her for me. So they were close.) He was giving her a little trouble. She said "PopPop its R" he said "no ur not R is a little girl".
I am with Grandma, ur husband is remembering you as a younger version. You are going to have to just play along. His brain is dying little by little. He can't help how is mind is working.
I keep telling him that there is only the 2 of us and the dog in the house. He agrees and then 5 mins later, he will ask if I know where the upstairs girl went. I keep trying to remind him who I am, as a gauge of when he will need to go to MC.