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Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Oh, easy one. Tell Mom that Dad had to go away to handle some business and will be back in two weeks. Meanwhile you two get some fun girl time. You know her best and know her limitations and her worries, and what stage she's at, what she can reason or retain, what activities she loves that you can stay engaged with her. Do write us if you come up with questions. Try to make it as much fun as you can for you both, and I can't tell you how much admiration you get from ME for letting this be the way for your Dad. My best to you.
If mom asks where "George" is tell her.. "Dad went to the store. He will be back later." "Dad took the car in for service it might be a while be fore he gets back" "Dad went to the doctor's office"
With each reason that dad is gone you redirect. Use any of these at the end of one of the above "reasons" "Mom, let's go for a walk" "Mom let's start making dinner, can you help peel potatoes?" "Mom, Let's go get some ice cream"
Depending on how often you are with mom and dad the questions as to where he is might not be as much as you think. Keep the same schedule that dad normally does as best as you can. Keep mom occupied. When you feel like you have to scream or yell...walk out of the room.
I hope your dad gets well needed break and you and mom have no problems. (by the way make sure that you are authorized to consent to any emergency situation. Are you listed on her medical forms as a contact person? If she had to go to the ER are you a POA for Health? There are temporary forms on line that can be completed before dad leaves. But when he returns it might be a good idea to see an Elder Care Attorney if this paperwork has not been done yet)
I understand your question...I would just be honest with your Mom that your Dad went on a 14 day trip and mark each day off on a calendar so your Mom can see the countdown to his return. I would assure her that he will be back, which you may have to do daily, hourly. Maybe he could bring her back a souvenir and you could tell her that so she has that to look forward to. Remind her that this is a good time for the two of you to spend some time together watching her favorite movies and such. Hope this helps! Glad your Dad can get away.
One more thought: dependent of course on her stage and ability to understand, you might make a nice big calendar for her, or even WITH her, and decorate it, so that each day you can mark off a day, and you can say what SHE and YOU did this day so you will remember to tell her hubby when he returns, and etc. Will give her something perhaps to cling to, and even remind her what day it is and what she is doing. Something writing or drawing "sets things in stone".
A few comments at least from my point of view and what I went through. And this greatly depends on where mom is in her dementia. My Husband would not have understood a calendar. Time means nothing. What will happen hopefully is that she will settle into a routine and ask less and less about dad. The fact that she is still at home will give her a sense of place, a sense of "I belong here so it must be ok". The fact that she is with someone she knows will help a lot. This is different than if you were taking mom to a memory Care facility to live or even as a Respite stay. In that case she would probably take longer to settle in and be comfortable.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm glad your giving your mom a vacation, I'm sure it's needed.
I would start with YouTube Teepa Snow. She will explain it all.
Best of luck , keep us posted 😊
Best to you.
Tell Mom that Dad had to go away to handle some business and will be back in two weeks. Meanwhile you two get some fun girl time.
You know her best and know her limitations and her worries, and what stage she's at, what she can reason or retain, what activities she loves that you can stay engaged with her.
Do write us if you come up with questions.
Try to make it as much fun as you can for you both, and I can't tell you how much admiration you get from ME for letting this be the way for your Dad. My best to you.
"Dad went to the store. He will be back later."
"Dad took the car in for service it might be a while be fore he gets back"
"Dad went to the doctor's office"
With each reason that dad is gone you redirect. Use any of these at the end of one of the above "reasons"
"Mom, let's go for a walk"
"Mom let's start making dinner, can you help peel potatoes?"
"Mom, Let's go get some ice cream"
Depending on how often you are with mom and dad the questions as to where he is might not be as much as you think.
Keep the same schedule that dad normally does as best as you can.
Keep mom occupied.
When you feel like you have to scream or yell...walk out of the room.
I hope your dad gets well needed break and you and mom have no problems.
(by the way make sure that you are authorized to consent to any emergency situation. Are you listed on her medical forms as a contact person? If she had to go to the ER are you a POA for Health? There are temporary forms on line that can be completed before dad leaves. But when he returns it might be a good idea to see an Elder Care Attorney if this paperwork has not been done yet)
And this greatly depends on where mom is in her dementia.
My Husband would not have understood a calendar.
Time means nothing.
What will happen hopefully is that she will settle into a routine and ask less and less about dad.
The fact that she is still at home will give her a sense of place, a sense of "I belong here so it must be ok". The fact that she is with someone she knows will help a lot.
This is different than if you were taking mom to a memory Care facility to live or even as a Respite stay. In that case she would probably take longer to settle in and be comfortable.