I have a caregiver who I like. She does a good job but she has a habit of overstepping her bounds. She got in trouble already for trying to order medical equipment for me when she knew that she was not allowed. But she has a habit of trying to tell me when I can have a soda. When I can do this or that. the other day I bought candy and she had a fit. Also she has a habit or leaving me with my feet up and then leaving for a few hours to go do other things. I think that is a safety issue. I don't want to lose her but she is doing things I don't think a caregiver should be doing.
You need to set borders. She is your employee and as such she does what u say. She is there to help you with your ADLs. She can suggest but not order. She is in your home and cannot make you do what you don't want to. She is not there to order u around.
I worked as a secretary for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. We had a nurse that felt it was part of her job to tell our clients what they should do. There were complaints. My boss told all the Nurses that they are going into peoples homes. You are not there to tell them how to live their lives. Its her job to "boss" you around.
You need to tell her boss about these things.
Or have you been put on a special diet by your doctors? If not, then it is none of the caregiver's business what you eat.
Don't let her manipulate you by being nice, and make you think she can't be replaced by doing 'some' of what you want/need 'sometimes.' Too many good people need jobs to put up with that! Get someone else who Will do what you want, does their job good and correctly. You shouldn't be upset with anything! That doesn't help you recover.
If it's an Agency, don't wait; call and say 'it's not working out. please send someone to replace her immediately.' You don't have to give details right now; you're recovering and don't need that. If they ask, tell them maybe you'll talk about that later when you're well. Tell them to send someone who will do what you want/need, not leave you in odd positions or for who knows how long, and not overstep what they're allowed to do or do anything without your consent while working to help you. Take charge, and take care.
Can you call a different agency? and replace the agency? I'd think about doing that.. fast.
With the soda-type issues, persist using standard pleases and thank yous and keeping it simple. First name can help to underline a point without being too forceful, too. E.g. "Jane. I would like a soda, please. Could you pass one to me? Thank you." Don't be cross, just stick to your point.
The candy - is she on a health kick about it, or something?
The foot elevation is more of a practical problem. When she positions you, EVERY time check when she's next repositioning. This should prompt her to check your position BEFORE she leaves you for long (say, longer than one hour). Remind her that pressure sores and back strain are also issues, and when alone you need to be in whatever position gives you most freedom of movement.
Anyway, in principle, if you like her and think she could be very good, tell HER. If she is any good, she will want to know what suits you.
I'm still a probationer at our home reablement service. Six month probationary period, it's proving both the longest six months and the fastest learning curve of my life. Anyway. One of the evil things they do to us while we're training is Quality Control. A (very nice, but very truthful too) lady sits in the office and rings round all the clients and gets feedback on each day's performance. (They don't warn you they're going to do this, by the way. You find out as you go along and wonder why you're getting your ears boxed every so often.)
I had my "supervision" this week - half an hour while your line manager tells you everything you're doing wrong and what a waste of space you are. It's such fun.
This time was not so bad, though. Line manager said most of the feedback was good, just the one who commented "a little bit bossy."
A LITTLE BIT BOSSY? Me?!? WHO have I been bossy to?
All was revealed yesterday, because a client's lovely wife, saying goodbye and thank you, said "he said you were a little bit bossy to start with but that really got him going, so he's very grateful." I hope I managed to keep all traces of reproach off my face (oh it was YOU was it???); and besides it was a comfort because now I know what counts as "bossy." This is the client who decided his safest route out of the bath tub was to stand up, grab hold of the medicine cabinet and my shoulder for support, and step straight out. I'm not sure I'd say bossy but I may have had a few well-chosen words for him about never doing that again.
Clients who say exactly what they would like are a joy to work with (if it's a REALLY bad idea, you won't be allowed to do it anyway and you can always say "sorry no I'll get fired."). Go ahead and speak up.
Please Never allow that girl back in your home! Please! Hope she has no key/s, access to your home, and that you've got 911 on speed dial.
Can you find another agency? fast?
My mother would have sighed deeply and said: "she *means* well..."
Someone needs to have a heart to heart with this lady and explain to her that her good intentions need to be expressed within strict professional and interpersonal boundaries. Either that, or professional caregiving is not for her.
For a start: she is NOT throwing anything away without your permission. That is your property. It is not for her to dispose of it. Seriously, I've had to put pots of yogurt with thick mouldy crusts on them back in a client's fridge because she "didn't believe in" use-by dates. We can refuse to serve expired food to clients or pass it to them but we cannot throw it out without their agreement. She should know that.
Remind me what it is you do like about this caregiver?
It really isn’t the other caregiver’s place to get in the middle of this. It’s between you and the agency. I would not ask the other caregiver to say anything. If the agency wants to ask them, they can do so. If the other caregiver offers to speak on your behalf then it’s great having a witness to validate what you are saying.
Best wishes to you. Hope you are satisfied with whomever else they send out.
Good luck with replacement. Maybe she is overwhelmed by her job and needs to find other work.