My mom's health has been declining for the past several years and after my father died we have been trying to get her to get rid of that big house. She had resisted all efforts or suggestions to help her make her life easier.
She has been diagnosed with Dementia and this has been getting worse. She has fallen several times and has difficulty getting around. We have tried to hired help in the home, one person from an agency, the other a friend. Both were worthless but this is partly her fault because she does not want anyone to do any work.
This situation escalated to a breaking point when we discovered a massive bed bug infestation at her house. We had to throw out furniture and have the house fumigated. While my brothers were cleaning up the house I bought her to mine to take care of her. I had her for three weeks but had planned to keep her here permanently but this did not work out. My house is nice but not quite suited to her mobility issues and she even fell here and I had to call 911 for help because my husband was not home. She is argumentative, sarcastic, confused, can barely get out of a chair or off the toilet (which I had to clean each time she used it). She calls me names when she thinks I can't hear. I thought really, you are calling
She drives me crazy over her medications and fights with my husband.
Well I had to take her back to her house because it did not work out here. We hired 24 hour help from an agency. She has enough funds to cover over a year of help. We thought we finally worked out a good solution to have her cared for but my brother called today because she had the helper in tears. She insists she does not need help but cannot do anything for herself. My brother and I are trying to clean up the house and the pack rat situation. We found 6 bags full of dirty adults diapers. There is stuff everywhere. She even had magazines as old as 1965 and lots of other JUNK. She told my brother she might just go back to my house. I can't have her here again. She is up all night, plays the TV loud and keeps my husband who is light sleeper up.
I would like to say the demintia changed her personality but this is her, just worse. Skilled nursing is the last option but she was booted out from one when she would not cooperate with them when she was recovering from a fractured pelvis. Would not do her PT, would not do PT when Kaiser sent therapist to house either.
I want my mom to have hot meals, clean clothes, a clean bed to sleep in, and to be bathed but i don't see how this will happen. I just don't see any ray of hope in any of this.
told my brother to make sure current care company is documenting what goes on and the next step is to see primary care doctor and geriatric care doctor at Kaiser. Think they will point us in the next direction . As I read many of the other posts I see many others with similar situations and that helps a little.