My MIL is an OTC med junkie. For every minor ache or pain or the slightest discomfort, she has to run to her drawer to find alka-seltzer, immodium, tylenol, pepto bismol, and the biggy...orajel. She goes through a $10 bottle of orajel per day. I've seen her using it like mouth wash. Every day she talks about going back to CVS to buy more. I've talked to the nurse at her dr.'s office and she said to just take it away, but it's not that easy. She DEMANDS it. Luckily, she forgets about it when we're out and about. But sooner or later the subject of getting more orajel comes up. She is a regular patient at her dentist, so all sources of discomfort have been addressed over and over.
The same goes for tylenol. I've pretty much taken that away because she will ask for some and I'll give it to her and half an hour later, she'll ask for more. I feel that when I'm not there, she OD's on it, which is so dangerous. So now that she doesn't have tylenol, she will take her prn imitrex for a non-migraine headache! Who knows how many of those she takes? It's scary.
She will be moving to an assisted living facility later this month, thank God. I guess we'll just have to let the staff know that she is not to have these meds unless they give them to her. But I just know she will ask for them relentlessly and probably purchase them if they take her out shopping.
This has been a life-long problem. Only before, she was a prescription drug junkie. Xanax and ritalin. She is simply uwilling to deal with any little twinge that causes her even the slightest discomfort. After I told her she wasn't supposed to have immodium anymore, she asked, "well what do I do if I get diarrhea?" I told her, "Have diarrhea, I guess". Unfathomable. But, we are getting her meds changed and trying to figure out why she may has chronic diarrhea, so hopefully, she won't have to live with it like she has for years. (She has irritable bowel syndrome which is linked to her intense anxiety and the dr. says her addiction to immodium is actually making it worse)
She manipulates my SIL into getting these meds for her. It's an issue that needs to be addressed because I know she will be begging her for them when she gets to the ALF.
Don't get me wrong. I am in favor of her cutting down on the massive meds. And your heart is absolutely in the right place on this issue. If you can influence even a slight improvement in her behavior that will be worthwhile. But, realistically, just because she is now declining and going into an ALF does not give you a desperate responsibility to reform her life-time bad habits. This is how she is. Do what (little) you can without alienating her or your SIL, and don't beat yourself up if the results are less than stellar.
If you are going to try to help her to healthier habits, I suggest picking your battles. Which of the many potients and pills are most harmful? Perhaps taking the entire list to a pharmacist would help you select one or two to start with. I'm sure that none of them gets a green light for unlimited use, but some are probably more danerous than others.
And here is a thought. If the drawers full of magic fixes have been her way of coping with anxiety for years, it might be dangerous to remove the coping mechanism without having something to replace it. Those pills are serving some need. Not the need she thinks she is taking them for, I would guess, but there is a reason for this dependence.
Good luck.
But when someone is disabled by dementia, then they deserve our protection.
Sometimes it is a pretty tough call. If she has been doing this for years, it is not really dementia behavior, and yet dementia can make what was not a healthy approach to start with an even more dangerous situation.
I take it that she is going to be in a memory care unit, and that they will be responsible for dispensing her medications -- is that right? Or do they only take on prescribed meds?
Will the cost of drugs be a self-limiting factor? If she doesn't have $300 spending money each month, then no matter how often she is taken shopping, she can't be buying an item that costs $10/day. Dementia robs people of their ability to reason, but if she only has $8 in her purse, can she accept that can't buy a $10 med?
Might creative placebos satisfy her need to self-medicate in a safer, less costly way? For example, might she be happy rubbing her mouth with an Orajel product that comes in a bigger container and is less expensive? (And has an uncanny resemblence to tinted piping gel?)
With dementia, the chances of convincing her to change her ways are pretty small.
Good luck!