Follow
Share

Mom has severe short term memory loss. Her lack of memory, now going into long term as well, is causing severe lack of judgment. Mom does not think anything is wrong with her, but it is apparent to anyone who speaks with her that she definitely has major memory issues. New problem has emerged. She is calling the last people on earth that she should be speaking to. Mom is going through her old phone book and called on a couple of people that she has not had anything to do with for several years. These people are now very much aware of moms memory issues and vulnerabilities. I'm not talking about a small misunderstandings years ago. I'm talking about major broken trust, loyalty and of course, money issues. There are a couple of people that mom had cut out of her life a long time ago with good reason, that truly do not like my mother, or have anything kind to say about her. These people would not think twice about taking advantage of her now if given half a chance. Her long term memory is also becoming impaired. She does not remember major events, or people from years ago. All legal documents are in place for mom, but I don't want to do that before her time. I can't watch her 24/7 and I can't keep her from calling and talking to the wrong people. I'm at a loss of what to do. Any advise would be welcome.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Judgement often tends to go bad even before memory, and certainly before the person loses the ability to get themselves in plenty of trouble. Be aware that some unscupulous people have persuaded vulnerable elders to change POAs which can possibly pass legal muster if incapacity is not documented. She is going to need increasing supervision as this progresses, and it certainly sounds like Alzheimer's type dementia. Has she had a good medical evaluation for any facet of her condition that can be treated? Have you got long-term care plans in mind?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Thank you for all of your answers, they are all very helpful. Bills are on auto pay, with no paper statements of any kind, going to the house. I'm going to try for an appointment with a Geriatric Psychologist. I am very afraid of mom trusting the wrong person and signing a document out of confusion.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Look into your phone services, see if you can block outgoing calls to those numbers and from those numbers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

When mom got to this point we moved her to Assisted Living, so her need for social contact was filled with the people around her. Look further and you may see she is messing up her bills, paying some twice and hiding the ones she doesn't like, sending money to any charity under the sun, hoarding groceries, buying things two, three, four times, getting lost in the car, etc. Mom did all of this. Her MD didn't have a clue, because she always put on a good show for him. WE had to TELL HIM she was losing it, and he was all broken up about it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If you haven't taken over POA for her property and aren't paying her bills, you should start IMMEDIATELY. You need to control her checkbook and accounts so that any spending has to come through you (or someone you trust). My mom has no short-term memory and while she wouldn't contact others from long ago, she would pay bills two or three times, not realizing she paid them yesterday or last week. I've handled her money for years now. Get that in place if you don't already have that set up.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I strongly recommend you have a neuro/psych evaluation done by a professional. It takes about 2 hours. When we had my mother in laws 2nd one done, she was much worse than we realized. It stated she was incompetent. This helped my husband to begin using his designated POA, which he had held off doing. People are usually worse than we know as was learned when he started taking over finances. The bonus of one of these evaluations is you can tailor a care plan specific to your mother's needs. I have to say, out of all the things we have done for our MIL, the evals have helped the most. She had her last eval recently, which stages her severe Alzheimers. She has deteriorated so rapidly since December, it makes my head spin.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Good thought, I will check on that.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter