My mom passed on Saturday. As we were preparing the write up in the news paper my sister says we need to put her father in there. In the part that says proceeds in death. I had it removed due to the fact she was 3 has always gotten mad when you mention him because she says she never knew him. So I found that a strange request and he comitted sucide leaving my mom with my siblings oldest was 5. His family never helped my mom if my for my moms parents she would of been homeless. So mom had nothing but bad memories of that was I so wrong in not mentioning there dad when all I've ever heard is we didn't know know him. It's made my life a living h*ll. It's hard enough now I have to deal with this and everything else for my mom. On top of all this we lost our dad in December.
Tell sis to back off. This will be done the way MOM would have wanted it, Period
I wrote daddy's obit, had mother read it and she said "perfect" and that was that. Obituaries are for life remembrances and actually, many people write their own! Do what mom wanted, and let sis be mad. She'll find something else to fuss over now.
Actually, it's probably a done deal by now. I hope this doesn't affect your relationship with sis. Time will heal a lot of wounds.
I'm sorry for your loss.
When it comes to obituaries I think differently. By now all your Mom's relatives and close friends have knowledge of her passing and when the services would be held, thus would an obit really be necessary?
When my parents had past last year, neither one had an obituary mainly because they both were very private people. I felt the less of their personal knowledge out there, the better, especially in today's world.
One could do an one year anniversary memorial in the newspaper. Usually the date of birth and date of passing are mentioned, with a short 3 line memory, usually signed "from your loving family".
Unless your mom was married to this person at the time of HER death, he should not be in the obituary.
If your sister is haranguing you, hang up on her.
He hasn't been a part of the family for years; I'd respect your mother's wishes; they're more important than your sister's.
People showed up at my father's memorial service that we would never have thought to notify -- mostly our childhood friends who knew him years ago and wanted to be their for us. So I think a public obituary can serve a useful purpose.
Is it worth sisters becoming estranged over? Goodness, I don't think so!
It is only a few days since Mother died. Both sisters are emotionally raw. Perhaps it is best to just leave this subject alone until everyone is feeling more stable.
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