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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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skips breakfast. Sometimes takes Friday pills on Thurs. Refuses to admit she gets meds mixed up. Is unsafe but refuses assisted living or help with meds. What to do? Forgetful, stubborn, not demented. Any nideas??
If she is mixing up meds, she is in early dementia, don't let her kid you. Try a seven day pill box. If she can't manage that, she needs assisted living. We had to move mom to AL because she would screw up the meds, fall down and end up in the ER.
Can you stop in to give her her medication? Call your local Council on Aging, make an appointment for them to interview your mom (explain to them that she's resistant to any help ahead of time). You be there for the appointment and see if they can convince her or think she's unsafe and can recommend further action.
When seniors are acting stupid, which it sounds like she is by refusing all help, then it's dementia, in my opinion. Either be prepared to force her hand, or let it go.
Depending on what her medication IS, it may not be all that important. What is she taking...and for what condition?
For those elders who insist on taking a sleeping pill but don't need one, can't the doctor give her "sugar pills" or something similar but tell her they are sleeping pills?
You could also try one of the timed medication dispensers that locks up the meds in between times. There are a number of threads on here where people highly recommend one kind - sorry I can't remember the name of it. Someone would have to load it for your mom, which sounds like it might be an issue, since she refuses to believe she has any issues.
When senile dementia starts coming on, it can be very subtle, but the clues are undeniably there. It doesn't mean that she is going to be a full-on mental case, but be prepared for further decline.
My mother-in-law was not diagnosed with dementia, but by her late 80s (she passed at 87) some of her behavior was indicative of someone whose mental capacity had diminished. She became more critical of certain family members to the point of nastiness, while she openly favored others. As we have seen all too often on this board, it was the daughter and son-in-law taking care of her that were the brunt of her fault-finding.
She was convinced that she needed sleeping pills to get through the night, even though her daughter said that Mom slept just fine when she didn't have them. Conversely, every time she had a fall, it was preceded by her taking a sleeping pill. If she took one too early she would be too unsteady to even climb into bed unassisted. During the night she would get up and "rearrange" things in her room and then wonder how stuff got moved around the next morning.
I wish I could tell you how to handle your mother at this stage, where she is still aware enough to know what is going on and resistant to any hint that she may not be firing on all cylinders. If her doctor isn't already aware of the situation, I would apprise him/her of your concerns and if possible get doc to write up a recommendation for taking control of her affairs (but be prepared for a furious backlash from Mom). Does anyone in your family have POA? Until you can get control of her finances, be sure and keep a sharp eye on them as well. At some point, unless you are able and willing to be an in-home caregiver, you will have to move Mom kicking and screaming to AL.
I'm not a nurse, but it seem logical that she would wake up with the effects of the sleping pills still working. She should take the pillsbefore she retires, not during the night. Help her sleep better by having her room as dark as she can tolerate, no t.v an hour or more before bed, and nocaffine after 6pm. Look up nonmedical ways to sleep better. Good luck, and sweet dreams to your mom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When seniors are acting stupid, which it sounds like she is by refusing all help, then it's dementia, in my opinion. Either be prepared to force her hand, or let it go.
Depending on what her medication IS, it may not be all that important. What is she taking...and for what condition?
My mother-in-law was not diagnosed with dementia, but by her late 80s (she passed at 87) some of her behavior was indicative of someone whose mental capacity had diminished. She became more critical of certain family members to the point of nastiness, while she openly favored others. As we have seen all too often on this board, it was the daughter and son-in-law taking care of her that were the brunt of her fault-finding.
She was convinced that she needed sleeping pills to get through the night, even though her daughter said that Mom slept just fine when she didn't have them. Conversely, every time she had a fall, it was preceded by her taking a sleeping pill. If she took one too early she would be too unsteady to even climb into bed unassisted. During the night she would get up and "rearrange" things in her room and then wonder how stuff got moved around the next morning.
I wish I could tell you how to handle your mother at this stage, where she is still aware enough to know what is going on and resistant to any hint that she may not be firing on all cylinders. If her doctor isn't already aware of the situation, I would apprise him/her of your concerns and if possible get doc to write up a recommendation for taking control of her affairs (but be prepared for a furious backlash from Mom). Does anyone in your family have POA? Until you can get control of her finances, be sure and keep a sharp eye on them as well. At some point, unless you are able and willing to be an in-home caregiver, you will have to move Mom kicking and screaming to AL.
Blessings to you and your mother.
"Does anyone in your family have POA? Until you can get control of her finances, be sure and keep a sharp eye on them as well. "
"...keep a sharp eye on them" = finances, not the family members!