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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym for a work out. It can be very exhausting for many seniors. Especially if one has memory issues, and/or mobility issues, etc.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet. Sitting in the tub works but it is a major chore getting in to sit down, and more so trying to get up :P
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
If you can get your Mom to take a bath, note that a parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
See if you can find some rose scented powder. I remember when that was a big hit back in the 1940's and 1950's. Maybe your Mom would take a bathe knowing she could use that wonderful smelling rose powder afterwards :)
According to your profile, your mother suffers from dementia/Alzheimer's which is likely why she won't bathe. There are quite a few tips and tricks you can use with her: check out Teepa Snow's YouTube videos on this very topic:
Teepa is funny and informative which makes her videos easy & fun to watch. You will likely gleans lots of useful tips as well to help you along this difficult journey with your mom.
If you discover your mother has a fear of falling, as mine does, you can get her a pair of water shoes (like the ones used at the beach) which have rubber soles. They have been a LIFESAVER for my mother who's fallen several times in the shower no matter HOW many contraptions were used. Now that I bought her the water shoes, she's fine and has had no more falls.
There are some good answers here. What I do is try not to push the issue so my DH doesn’t feel pressured into showering. If he doesn’t agree to a shower, I’ll give him a bed bath.
Once or twice a week, I’ll get two basins with warm water and a washcloth for each (One for soaping you and the other basin for rinsing) and towels. While he’s laying in bed, I’ll soap up a washcloth and start either with a leg or a hand, whichever is most convenient and least intrusive. It feels good, and he usually lets me continue. Or maybe I only get half of his body, so later in the week, I’ll clean the areas that were missed. Of course, you always go from the cleanest body parts to the dirty ones.
This has made it less of a power struggle to keep him clean.
I agree that fear of falling is likely near the top of the list. Some need help and don't want to ask for it. Some would be embarrassed to have a family member assist them. Some believe they truly do not need bathing (even when we politely tell them they have an odor). Some have honestly lost track of when the last time was that they bathed. Ladies who get their hair washed/set at a salon don't want the humidity of a bath/shower to mess up their hairdo.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet. Sitting in the tub works but it is a major chore getting in to sit down, and more so trying to get up :P
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
If you can get your Mom to take a bath, note that a parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
See if you can find some rose scented powder. I remember when that was a big hit back in the 1940's and 1950's. Maybe your Mom would take a bathe knowing she could use that wonderful smelling rose powder afterwards :)
https://www.google.com/search?q=teepa+snow+bathing&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS896US896&oq=teepa+snow+bathing&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2.4527j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Teepa is funny and informative which makes her videos easy & fun to watch. You will likely gleans lots of useful tips as well to help you along this difficult journey with your mom.
If you discover your mother has a fear of falling, as mine does, you can get her a pair of water shoes (like the ones used at the beach) which have rubber soles. They have been a LIFESAVER for my mother who's fallen several times in the shower no matter HOW many contraptions were used. Now that I bought her the water shoes, she's fine and has had no more falls.
https://www.amazon.com/YALOX-Swimming-Quick-Dry-Barefoot-Exercise/dp/B07M5ZV2G9/ref=sr_1_11?crid=2QYWSJ8U0OOW7&dchild=1&keywords=water+shoes+for+women&qid=1590713202&sprefix=water+shoes%2Caps%2C349&sr=8-11
Best of luck
Once or twice a week, I’ll get two basins with warm water and a washcloth for each (One for soaping you and the other basin for rinsing) and towels. While he’s laying in bed, I’ll soap up a washcloth and start either with a leg or a hand, whichever is most convenient and least intrusive. It feels good, and he usually lets me continue. Or maybe I only get half of his body, so later in the week, I’ll clean the areas that were missed. Of course, you always go from the cleanest body parts to the dirty ones.
This has made it less of a power struggle to keep him clean.