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I live about 20 mins away. I just told my mom and caregiver to follow him about 20 paces back as he keeps saying I don't need you guys. They live in a pretty calm and secure neighborhood designed for 55+. It's small with sidewalks etc so he was safe except for the risk of falling. he went to the wrong house, but still insisted he did not need help form caregiver or my mom. I got there and got him in my car and took him to lunch but he's just hung up on not wanting the hired caregiver there. he thinks he and my mom can handle everything. I wrote about this a few days ago. my fear is the wandering and the fact that my mom goes into panic mode. I read that keeping them busy is a way to deter the wandering, but he does not want to engage in anything!

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The ones that won’t accept a caregiver at home end up in facilities . He needs to be in memory care because of the wandering too . Tell mom wandering is often the last straw in these situations .
Memory care often have a fenced in courtyard he can walk around without getting lost.

Start looking for a memory care facility , Dad is too uncooperative to live at home.
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Reply to waytomisery
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It may be time for memory care, but i did some caregiving for Alzheimer's patients, so I'll tell you some of what I did as a caregiver.

I had this one lady, house was all very well child proofed, bells on doors, locks on the ovens. Everything she needs for us caregivers to keep her safe.

On day her goal for that day was to take the garbage out, Everytime I threw something away she wanted to take it out. So I'd just let her, and went with her, then she got sick of me following her, and rather annoyed with me. Her next trip to the garbage outside, I said hey Jackie, I need some fresh air, can I come too, she smiled and said of course.

I had one very energetic man we would go for bike rides together. I couldn't leave his side for a second, he had so much energy. If he sat down and started to doze, I would put my feet a certain way incase I dozed, then I'd feel him move .

You need a very on hands caregiver that can keep up with him and have patience and knowledge of how to kind of manipulate them the way I did my friend Jackie, and you need someone active that can keep up with him, and never let him out of there sight , and to tire him out. Or he really needs memory care.

And the house needs to be child proofed. So sorry this is very hard on all of you I'm sure
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Anxietynacy Aug 29, 2024
Also the caregiving I'm suggesting is not cheap to get, just a heads up.
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This has now gotten very dangerous, as we've all heard stories of folks with dementia wandering off in the middle of the night and are found days later dead from either the heat or cold or just dehydration.
Your mom must now put secure locks on all doors and up high too to keep your dad in the house or it my be time to have him placed in memory care.
And while mom is getting things figured out, please have her talk to your dads doctor about putting him on some medication for his agitation.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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