Talking and not looking where she was going, knocked her front teeth out. Knocked herself out, had a brain bleed and a stroke. She is now in a NH in WI. My husband flies up for 6 weeks to take care of $, appts, visit her and run interference between her (loud demands) and nursing staff. This has been going on for 5 years! My husband is 11 years older than me and I'm afraid the stress will kill him. She won't move South. What can I do?
Your husband needed to set boundries 5 yrs ago. But, in that time your health has probably gotten worse. This is his excuse. Really, by this time she should have acclimated to her NH. But, I bet she calls constantly. That is STRESS in itself. Let her go to Voicemail or even block her from ur landline. With your cell, put it on "do not disturb". She will go straight to voicemail. Allowing the staff to ring thru. You can do so much with a cell phone.
If nothing has gotten better in 5 years, then DH needs a good sit down with Mom. Telling her he just can't go on like this. Its effecting him physically and mentally. She needs to realize he is aging too. He needs to tell her if she is going to continue to act like a child, he will treat her like one. That your health is such, he needs to be home caring for you.
My question is, does she still need all these doctor visits. I found that I could drop some of Moms Specialists when she became stable and it was just a yearly visit. I allowed the doctor associated with the NH to take over her care. Can you maybe find someone willing to take Mom to Dr. Visits. The doctor or office nurse calling you with any findings. Bloodwork can be done at the NH. They even have mobile Xray companies. Her finances can be done online. If she is on Medicaid, allow the facility to become her payee for SS and pension if she has one.
There are ways to help lighten his load.