I take care of my two elderly parents. My father has heart, kidney, and other issues and as for my mother she is frail and only has one eye. They are just enough sound mind to make desicions....even though they are horrible. They have no life or health insurance, no place to be buried, no savings and they won't listen. They are in a reverse mortgage that I can not help or find out any information because I have no rights. Something bad is going to happen and I would hate for them to end up in a state ward because I could not figure out how to help them. Please advise.
Remember, the same right to make really poor choices on your parents' part means that you have the right to decide what you are able to commit in terms of financial and personal assistance. I've had to make very strong boundaries with a variety of family members who would gladly have taken every spare moment or dime that I had to keep their lives exactly as they wanted. No, we all have rights in this. It's a sad truth that not all folks are planning ants, many are grasshoppers eager to eat not just what the ant saved but the ants themselves!!
Don't your parents have Medicare for health insurance? Or are they not old enough to receive it?
I told my Dad a "theraputic fib" saying that the Government would take half of his estate due to the way the Wills were written. Whew, Dad took notice, and I was able to get them to an Elder Law Attorney to get new Wills and new Power of Attorney.
You can use "theraputic fibs" for your parents not having a grave site. Tell them they would be buried in a paupers' grave, no headstone, no casket, etc. [remember these are fibs to get their attention].
You can honestly say: "If you decide not to create Power of Attorney and Health Care directive documents, the only authority to manage your money and health care will have to come from a Court, and that's expensive and takes much more time. It's much less expensive for you to designate who should manage your money and care now, by using these basic documents."
An elder law attorney in your town can help explain all the advantages to them.