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Didn’t put his name for info. Only friends. Plus she’s the one who came to live with her. All my husband wants is to have her to live with us. My mother has a little dementia. She takes care of her hygiene.

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What are you saying? Please tell me if I have this wrong. Sounds like you are saying that your sister in law placed your mother in law in a home and your mother in law has dementia. Is that right?

Does she have power of attorney? Does your husband and his sister get along?

Can you give more info please?
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No idea what you're trying to say.
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mally1 Apr 2020
Hi! Just came across this.... Frequent Flyer is probably trying to say that your MIL may have become really hard to care for, and a higher level of care is needed now. Many of the people on this site have taken care of loved ones until it was way past time to place them in AL or a NH. My husband and I are among those who can't do it - because mom has just enough cognitive power left to say "NO"! Her doctor said NH almost 3 years ago, but she has about 6-8 paid helpers that do so much for her, she is still in her apt. I used to do it all, except the actual housekeeping and laundry, but I was wearing out fast, and we don't even live with her! My husband finally called a halt, and I see her weekly and talk daily on the phone, but the "village" does all the work. If you take care of your MIL for a week or two, you may see what I/we mean.
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Kingston, in order to be placed in a nursing home [or is it Assisted Living?], the facility would not accept a new patient unless that patient meet the right criteria in regard to how much care that person would need. Therefore, your Mom-in-law met the criteria.

Sounds like your hubby's Mom now needs a village to take of her. I know you would prefer to have Mom-in-law living with you, but placing her in Assisted Living was probably the right decision.

Have you had a chance to recently take care of your Mom-in-law for a couple of weeks? If not, you may not realize all that is involved.
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