New here and boy do I have question y'all might help me with!
I take care of both of my in-laws with Alzheimer’s. It has been a year since I quit my job and brought them to my home to keep them from a nursing home. They have been married 63 years, but she’ll need memory care and they will be separated, it’s a death sentence. I just had to try. But it might be the death of me... my husband works 3rd shift and an only child, So I basically have zero help or breaks. I'm getting so tired, its 24/7 with them both, we have cameras and alarms at night, I don't get much rest. But I always try to put on a Happy Face. I'm a positive person and love people, but I need resources for respite care, where do I find them?
I haven't been getting paid for care, but they do contribute to household expenses to ease things financially. I recently read I need a care giver agreement, they have some savings from the sale of a home (not a lot) which will make them not eligible for Medicaid when it is time... so I read I can get paid for taking care of them, but I must have an agreement in place to help spend down some of the liquid assets. But how do I do that and how do you know what to pay yourself.
They have Medicare. But I don't know much about it. Will they help me?
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I am so sorry that you are struggling with all of this.
Wishing you peace and I hope that you will be able to resolve this issue soon.
Contact your local Area Agency on Aging for resources.
Or, hire someone from a aid agency or Care.com
Also contact social services for your county to come do an assessment to see if they qualify for any in-home services.
You must talk to an elder law attorney, estate planning attorney and/or a Medicaid Planner for your home state. Do not make any assumptions about their qualifying for Medicaid.
Medicare doesn't cover "custodial" care. In most states Medicaid covers LTC only, which means the person is bedridden. Most states have a 5-year lookback on the application.
Anything else would leave them subject to accusations of "gifting" which would preclude Medicaid in future should they require it.
Get expert advice. Shared living expenses aren't payment and aren't taxable. Whereas payment is. So costs of heating, light, mortgage, upkeep, travel expenses, food, etc are all reimbursable.
Meticulous record keeping is required.
If so the VA may help out with programs they have and you could get paid for caring for them.
And depending on the time and location and type of service they may qualify for a LOT of benefits. the best thing to do is check with your local Veteran's Assistance Commission
You can also seek out the advice of a SHIP counselor. (Senior Health Insurance Program) they do not charge for the service and they are not beholden to any insurance company so they can look at the info you have about the medications they are taking, the doctors they see and they can let you know if the Insurance they have is the right one.
When setting up the care agreement and working out any "payments" or compensation be as generous but legal as you can be so that ALL the payments will be qualified as for "their care" that includes housing, food, supplies their share of gas, electric, water, cable....
Check your area for the "going rate" for a caregiver that does ALL that you do. If you need to get an idea what the cost is (and I think you will be shocked!) call a few agencies and describe what you would want and ask for what those duties would cost per hour.