My mom is in a nursing home for 2 years and 7 months. She was placed in a memory care unit since we thought she had dementia after breaking her leg. BUT, after 2 months she started to come around and is now back to normal although wheelchair bound. The NH has now opened a door to allow for the Alzheimer's patients to roam the hallways and also patient's rooms. (Before that they were in a locked section). They go into patient's rooms, steal their belongings, bump into them and me when visiting, grab anything you have out of your hands, dedicate and urinate on floors. When I complained they said well then your mom shouldn't be there in that section you should move her. I refused, as my mom loves her room, it's home to her, she loves her aides and roommate any change would cause her to go back into depression. I was there on Sunday, and an Alzheimers patient smeared poop all over a patients room. The entire section smelled. Luckily the cleaning lady was there to have it removed. Everytime I called the administration about this they tell me the law says they have rights to roam the halls and I should move my mom to another section. The families of the other patients who have dementia in my mom's area do not know this is going on, as the patients cannot communicate this to them. They come in my mom's rooms sleep in her bed steal, deficate urinate..who can I talk to? Does my mom have rights!?
When my DH had his liver transplant, there was this poor old guy with severe dementia who was bad off enough to need to be on the surgical floor, but he slept all day and wandered all night. DH said more than once he'd wake up to this gent wandering in and fussing with his IV ports!!
The hospital was not allowed to 'restrain' this man and my poor hubby is lying there with a 4' incision in his belly and myriad IV's--hardly able to hop up and escort this man back to his room!
I blew a head gasket over this. The hospital held firm to their 'no restraint' policy and finally had to go 'legal' on them. This man, in his dementia, could have done any number of awful things to these bed bound patients!! I just told the head of the floor that I couldn't and wouldn't be at the hospital 24/7 protecting my DH! I threatened a lawsuit--(son was in law school and he came up with some obscure law that protects people in this exact situation). Amazingly, they were able in one day to move the wanderer to a room right by the nursing station. This was an easy fix, they just didn't want the hassle.
Maybe the NH needs to 'bell the cat' so they can HEAR him coming and head him off at the pass. It just seems there has to be a way to let your mom have her 'home' and keep this guy under wraps, so to speak.
Your poor mom--this has to be horrifying.
If that doesn't work, a therapeutic fib might be the answer "Mom, they need to move you to XYZ room because there is a patient that has to come here and only your room will do." She will balk at first, and maybe have a bit of a slump, but if you and the staff work with her to integrate and make new friends, it could be a good thing.
It seems that getting away from some of the irrational behavior could be a good thing and she might have more settled and calm days -- which would be better for her.
Best of luck, it's so hard when we feel stuck between two bad choices!
This is why its going to have to be something serious to get me into rehab. And then, if I can do homecare, I am going that way.
Hugs 🤗