POA is one of the mother’s children.
She is currently living in one of her rental homes with the POA, his wife, adult granddaughter and her boyfriend. This was to be temporary while the mother received rehab. treatment. Treatment was completed months ago.
The mother wants to move back home and could with some limited daily help. She has requested the POA make it happen for months. No movement has been made by the POA.
After numerous requests by the mother's other sons the mother was allowed to visit and spend a weekend with one. For the first time in almost a year she was able to see all her other children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
During that visit the mother slowly opened up and shared concerning facts about her treatment, and care while living with the POA's family. She asked to extend her visit and shared she was scarred to return to the POA, in fear of retaliation for sharing and not following all their rules while she was visiting.
The POA was contacted and when informed by his mother of her desire he refused to allow her to extend her stay. POA refused to bring her additional medicine so she could stay a few days longer. Advised he would block any efforts to secure additional medicine at the RX so that she could extend her stay... ETC.... to avoid arguing the mother eventually agreed to return to them (as she had several doctor visits for that week). It was agreed she would return to her other sons home for an extended visit in 3 days (after the doctor visits, the second son had offered to take his mother to the doctor visits but the POA refused).
When the day came for the return visit the POA refused to allow the visit. The POA has further refused that son from coming to visit or even to face to face check on his mother. A third son is also denied visitation. The POA will not allow either son to speak to mother on the phone.
The POA offers no reason for not allowing the visit; he just refuses it, stating he has the power and authority to do so.
POA advises mother is competent.
What action is appropiate?
After much discussion the two brothers suggested mediation to the POA. The POA stated that if the two other brothers showed up for a meeting at "his" attorney's office to workk out details on returning their mother home they could then visit the mother.
Note: the information from the POA prior to the mothers visit was vastly inaccurate with regard to her abilities when visiting. The brothers do not feel they can base any detailed planning on the POA's information and are concerned the mothers doctor may be receiving the same apparent misiniformation. The POA's report on her abilities was far less than what was observed.
The two sons responded that if the POA wanted their input in developing a detailed plan, and their assistance to impliment it they needed::
1. To have the mother visit for 2-3 weeks so that they could observe her day to day and formulate a clearer picture of what she could and could not do.
2. At the end of the visit go with her to a doctor visit for a discussion.
3. Afterwhich they would be happy to sit down with the POA, with the mother in attendance, and work out the details of a plan.
The POA refused. He advises they cannot see their mother, cannot talk to her, cannot go with her to her doctor, and that the mother cannot attend the meeting.
The two brothers then in desperation stated ... ok..... they would attend the meeting but wouldn't be informed enough to sign off on any detailed plan. None the less they would show up, listen, and ask questions. In return they wanted assurance from the POA that when the meeting was over that they could take their mother for an extended visit (as he had orginally advised if attended the meeting they could visit her).
The POA refused. Ranted about how the two brothers could out vote him and he and his family would loose and he wasn't going to allow that. He states that the two brothers and the mother are against him.
It appeares the POA wants to have a meeting, tell the brothers how it was going to be, get them to agree and commit to help with "his" plan (which the POA has advised he doesn't have??), and spring it on the mother.
The POA continues to make comments he has the power and authority to deny visits and control her.
In frustation the brothers advised him to put together a plan by himself and make it happen. The mother has advised him she wants to go home and they feel that as her agent he is to make it happen.
In the meantime they want to visit their mother and reminded him she was requested visits with them.
Again the POA refuses
The brothers are upset and confused as to the motive of the POA. After all it is suppose to be about what is in the mothers best interest.
Calling APS is the first step. Her bits and pieces of information and the fact that she was scared to return should have warranted a call to APS before she returned to her own home, because practically speaking, he's living in the house that SHE owns.
Today is Tuesday. Call APS now. She's living in fear of what can happen unless she does exactly what POA wants and no one should have to live in fear of another person, especially when that person is their own son. She needs YOUR help, so get on the telephone with APS and get the ball rolling today. Let APS call the sheriff. As a matter of fact, if POA resists APS, THEY'LL call the police. They can do what needs to be done to protect her, but they can't do it without a complaint from YOU.
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