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My father got married at the age 86 to a woman 20+ years younger than he was. They were married for 3 1/2 years. She was an LPN. He basically asked her to care for him and in return she asked him to marry her as I understand it from neighbors. We children lived in another state. Upon his death this past April 2021, I found evidence of a fiduciary she placed on him in the deeds section in SC. This black widow basically took everything he had. She changed beneficiaries, took all of his and my mother’s (mom passed in 2012) personal property, stole 50,000 in silver coins in 2 safes she says she knows nothing about and history of taking him out of hospital against medical advice at least twice. I have an attorney, but at this point the attorney says it would be a long uphill battle to prove any elder care abuse, financial exploitation or duress under pressure. He did have beginning signs of dementia on a CT in 1/2017 and was extremely hard of hearing. Do I have any recourse with this against this lady I can use or do? Does anyone have any experience with success with dealing with this kind of situation? Please respond.

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How long were they married?

Regardless, I'd take the lawyer's advice.
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Kathryfr Sep 2021
3 1/2 years
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So sorry you have experienced this. It is probably best to take the lawyer's advice because it will be a long and uphill journey. Time and money will be spent finding out and documenting any other widow activities on her part and corraling witness who are willing to testify to same and unless there has been a suspcious death or millions of dollars lost..... this kind of thing can cost you a small fortune and it still may not be enough to bring her to trial or secure some type of restitution.
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I'm sorry for this situation, and a bit disheartened at the same time.

Infighting within a family over money is gut wrenching and almost never works out to the satisfaction of all parties.

Your dad was married to a woman who cleaned him out. This is a sad story as old as time.

Yes, you do need to hire a lawyer. It will be costly and for that I feel sorry. Going backwards in time to ascertain dad's mental state is going to be hard.

Personally---I'd let it go. My OB robbbed my parents blind. They were of 'sound mind' and just gave him everything he aksed for and didn't question when money and items started disappearing. By the time we had to move mom & dad to an apt with YB, it was discovered that OB had robbed the parents of almost everything of value.

They (parents) wouldn't allow the rest of us sibs to go after OB. So we didn't.

OB had long since lost all the money, and died owing every single sib some amount of money.

For the sake of mom's peace of mind, we let it go. OB was her favorite and shored him up financially all his life. He was married 4 times and each new wife just jumped on the chow wagon. So sad.

We did consult a lawyer once and he commented that you cannot get blood out of a turnip. True enough. We just all sighed and gave up.

We weren't looking for inheritance, we were looking to financially support MOTHER.
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Very similar situation for me.
African caregiver of my father's late wife coerced my father into marriage immediately after his wife died. 46 years age difference.

Not sure if you were referring to SC as in South Carolina? but my state, Texas, has in their Estates Code a provision to Void a Marriage After Death which I am in the midst of pursuing.
Two provisions:
1. Decedent did not have the mental capacity to understand the marriage
OR
2. Marriage was entered into fraudulently (ie. Bigamy)

We did not know she was still married in Zimbabwe and obtained a Divorce while residing in Texas in order to marry my father. Her divorce is in question as the attorney appears to have been travelling to Africa to recruit women to work in the Target Rich environment of Assisted Living/in Home Caregiving. All his divorce clients have the same history and work in the industry.

Should we be successful, it will be as if the marriage did not exist. Surely she's hidden any monies she stole but at least the pension will be taken away.
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Of course we all sympathize but we are a forum of caregivers, not lawyers.
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